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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How much did you earn before you felt you had enough to relax a bit about money?

107 replies

uradg · 08/12/2023 22:02

I am in my thirties and feel constantly worried about money despite earning more than average. Is this normal? When will I feel more relaxed about money? It’s a constant source of stress

OP posts:

Catza · 08/12/2023 22:05

When I could save 1k a month, I became much more relaxed about money.

MariaVT65 · 08/12/2023 22:07

Tbh this is difficult to answer it depends on what your outgoings are.

I relaxed about money 8 years ago when I was earning £25k but was single and no respsonsibilities. I’m now earing 40kish but my money all goes on mortgage and nursery fees.

HappiestSleeping · 08/12/2023 22:07

I'll let you know if I ever get to that point.

Original poster

uradg · 08/12/2023 22:11

@Catza how much did you earn to be able to do that? I only save 250 currently

OP posts:

DanceMumTaxi · 08/12/2023 22:14

It’ll very much depend on your outgoings. On paper we have a good joint income (around 95K before tax etc) and while we’re not counting the pennies we do have to keep an eye on things and can’t just spend willy-nilly. I’m going back full time in a couple of months so our income will be around 120K so things will be more relaxed, but will still be reasonable careful. I think I’d have to be really quite rich before I didn’t think about what I was spending.

Flanjango · 08/12/2023 22:16

Speaking as an older member that's family income is less than £30k. Never 🤣

Laurendelaney1987 · 08/12/2023 22:17

At beginning of Covid I earned £35k. I now earn almost twice that and actually feel a lot worse off

WaverleyOwl · 08/12/2023 22:19

I went from having savings and fun money as a 20-something about-to-be-married, to living month to month as a married mum of two.

If I get to the point of feeling comfortable, I'll let you know.

Baublewarble · 08/12/2023 22:19

Still waiting at £80k

Benibidibici · 08/12/2023 22:20

At about 60k each

Nevermind31 · 08/12/2023 22:21

not So much how much I earned, but how much savings I have. If it goes below 20k I worry…( but that was after we spend most of our money on a deposit for a house).

BarbaraofSeville · 08/12/2023 22:22

It depends on your essential outgoings and also your attitude to spending.

If you have a big mortgage, childcare bills, car payments, the cost of running a large or energy inefficient house and have expensive tastes when it comes to groceries and leisure, and view buying things as a leisure activity, you'll need many times more money to feel comfortable than you will with smaller bills and a more frugal attitude to spending.

fitforflight · 08/12/2023 22:23

I agree that it very much depends on outgoings and whether both of you are working (if in a couple).

My partner and I earn 80k a year between us, gross. But with two personal allowances we'd obviously come out with more than a single person earning 80k.

We save around £1,500 a month which makes us hugely fortunate I know, but because we have that safety net we don't worry about money. If we were big spenders or went on fancy holidays that might be different, but we're fairly frugal and aren't very spendy people.

Huge caveat is we don't have childcare to pay for, that would make things very difficult for most couples and we'd certainly think about money a lot more.

The other caveat is we live in the Midlands and our mortgage is only 160k. We bought our house a few years ago for 190k, it's a three bed semi and we have no need to move any time soon. For anyone in the south, south east, northern big cities their mortgage would be much more expensive and add another layer of stress for people.

pjparty · 08/12/2023 22:29

It was more when I had an emergency fund (savings) of over 10k

ActDottie · 08/12/2023 22:30

£50k for me, suddenly started to feel pretty comfortable

Rollercoaster1920 · 08/12/2023 22:32

I reckon it'll be when the mortgage is paid off.
I'm more comfortable today than a few years ago because I have about 8 months of salary saved and we now have 2 incomes. A few years ago we had one salary, small savings, and then redundancy.

It's about security to me.

HippeePrincess · 08/12/2023 22:34

I was relaxed about money when I was on a student loan and had bursaries and grants, as my outgoings were very low (housing association rent). Now I’m on 30k wages household circa 45k gross with a decent size mortgage and we’re worse off so not relaxed about money and can’t see it til nursery fees aren’t a thing and we’ve maybe paid down the mortgage a bit.

Papillon23 · 08/12/2023 22:36

I think I stopped worrying when I had 6 months bills in savings, and when my savings were going up consistently month on month in spite of car services/holidays etc - not literally every month but they were on average increasing.

I'm now at the point where I barely have that again as I rinsed my savings to pay off my mortgage and have then (due to bad luck) had 6k of house bills under 3 months later.

That definitely makes me a bit twitchy but the mortgage being paid off means I know things should be okay really.

The key thing is that I keep my mandatory expenses pretty low: i have a cleaner and holidays but they can all be cut back on. House costs, car costs etc are all minimised.

Aria999 · 08/12/2023 22:40

Yes it really depends on the choices you have made that lock you into high costs.

Our household income is significant but with 1 kid in private school, 1 in preschool, a large old house that always has something breaking down, and the fact we live overseas so we pay for all 4 of us to travel to see family twice a year... most of it's gone before we know it.

So, we still need to be careful with cost control, probably more careful than when we were child free and living in England on about half the income.

RosesAndHellebores · 08/12/2023 22:43

When the mortgage was paid off and we had enough in savings to pay down the school fees up to the UVI.

Mangotango39 · 08/12/2023 22:47

I earn $55k
DP around $60K

has been really comfortable to be honest. Now we are about to have a baby and me on mat leave without any employer extra. Have been lucky enough to save though but will need to adjust.

once I go back to work (dropping to 4 days) I'm fairly confident we will be fine and have a nice life (yes have calculated our childcare fees in this).

we are lucky wev done up all the house and garden prekids and got new cars, so no huge expenses coming up soon!

jackstini · 08/12/2023 22:49

Once the mortgage was paid off and I had over 6 months worth of living expenses in the current account, plus decent pensions/savings - age 50ish

Workworkandmoreworknow · 08/12/2023 22:52

Been single with three kids for years. No contribution from ex but no mortgage. I worry a lot about money and seem to constantly chase it. Never feel safe., like I have enough. I work full time and have three side hustles which pay for a holiday every year. In total, I earn about £44k. It is enough, whatever enough might be but my house is falling apart and that worries me. I need a new roof and the quotes come in around £12k, for example which I simply can’t find.

OllyBJolly · 08/12/2023 22:55

I’m with @DanceMumTaxi It wasn’t until my kids left home and were self sufficient that I really felt I had money to spend. As a single parent, I got into huge debt just covering bills. Funding debt really eats away at your income - wish I’d been more financially savvy at that time.

I married again and two incomes took some pressure off and although we never shared finances, the contribution to household expenses really helped. Now it’s just the two of us, no mortgage, and it feels pretty comfortable.

Frostythereindeer · 08/12/2023 22:55

I feel comfortable now at 33.
Joint income 120k (60k each).
Mortgage repayment is 12.5% of net income.
6 years of pension contributions so far.
We pay for various insurance and are insured for any event.

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