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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How much did you earn before you felt you had enough to relax a bit about money?

107 replies

uradg · 08/12/2023 22:02

I am in my thirties and feel constantly worried about money despite earning more than average. Is this normal? When will I feel more relaxed about money? It’s a constant source of stress

OP posts:

Zanatdy · 08/12/2023 22:57

I earn 63k and I worry about money daily, high rent in the SE, don’t have enough bedrooms for my teens, haven’t even started a mortgage at 47. The answer is I move, and I’m waiting 2.5yrs until youngest of 3DC’s leaves school

Densol57 · 08/12/2023 22:58

Everyone ( well most ) on MN are obsessed with "saving" and if you cannot save you are doomed
I have a very very high net monthly income
I am NOT obsessed with saving
( nor can i make a cooked chicken last a week, but thats another story 🤣)

Its all relative. Someone in NE may feel comfortable on a salary that a Londoner is close to a food bank

edwinbear · 08/12/2023 23:06

We were just about there with a reasonable 6 figure income. The prospect of having to find another £1k a month in VAT on school fees, with possibly just a few months notice, and no sudden 20% pay rise has us both awake at 4.30am worrying. DS is in GCSE years and I think it unlikely our LA will be able to find him a state school place where he can carry on with the same subjects/exam boards. So that’s pretty stressful.

Crushed23 · 08/12/2023 23:10

I’m going to freeze my eggs next month, and depending on how many rounds I need that could wipe out my savings.

So currently I don’t feel particularly comfortable / well-off.

Ibizabar · 08/12/2023 23:13

Nothing less than several 100k a month.

Meanwhile in the real world...

UsingChangeofName · 08/12/2023 23:13

As others have said, it wasn't about how much was coming in, as what we were committed to paying out.
So, for me, it was when we paid our mortgage off.

grayhairdontcare · 08/12/2023 23:19

When my mortgage was payed off and I had a year's salary saved.

Ladybughello · 08/12/2023 23:22

fitforflight · 08/12/2023 22:23

I agree that it very much depends on outgoings and whether both of you are working (if in a couple).

My partner and I earn 80k a year between us, gross. But with two personal allowances we'd obviously come out with more than a single person earning 80k.

We save around £1,500 a month which makes us hugely fortunate I know, but because we have that safety net we don't worry about money. If we were big spenders or went on fancy holidays that might be different, but we're fairly frugal and aren't very spendy people.

Huge caveat is we don't have childcare to pay for, that would make things very difficult for most couples and we'd certainly think about money a lot more.

The other caveat is we live in the Midlands and our mortgage is only 160k. We bought our house a few years ago for 190k, it's a three bed semi and we have no need to move any time soon. For anyone in the south, south east, northern big cities their mortgage would be much more expensive and add another layer of stress for people.

What are you saving for? Amazing house / early retirement maybe? No judgement of course - just curious!

Costacoffeeplease · 08/12/2023 23:22

Not until late 40s/early 50s when we inherited from a friend, and a health related insurance claim paid out.

idontlikealdi · 09/12/2023 00:00

I'm on 70, he's on 55, still not enough

amberisola · 09/12/2023 00:07

I earn around 35k and I've felt very relaxed about money since getting my last pay rise. Dh earns similar. Compared to the amounts people have posted on this thread my salary sounds like peanuts, but I guess it just goes to show how it's all so relative.

Our outgoings aren't huge - no kids, smallish mortgage, one old car between us. I don't save much, although I have a few grand in an emergency fund. But I grew up with nothing, so just not having to constantly worry, live on credit or live from payday to payday feels like total luxury to me.

midnights0 · 09/12/2023 00:17

I'm on the opposite ends of the spectrum where DH earns £18k and I'm earning 13k, minimum wage jobs although he earns slightly more as he's a manager (shitty retail) we currently have a lot of debt and private rent so have a lot of outgoings and NO savings what so ever, I mean like nothing. We have nothing to save, on a good month I have £300 spare and him a bit more, we get by but I can't wait for the day we don't have to worry about money! We're both always looking for jobs!!!

Ittastesvile · 09/12/2023 00:33

I think your lifestyle and outgoings change to match your income a lot of the time.

I felt secure in my 20s as I had a small rent, few outgoings, no responsibilities. I felt secure in my 30s as I had similar outgoings but swapped the rent for a mortgage offset by having a paying tenant. Secure enough to go part-time. I'm secure in my 40s by being married and selling two houses to buy one = mortgage free. I'm a sahm so no nursery fees.

I've never earned more than £37k.

Femme2804 · 09/12/2023 00:41

Its never enough. When i earn £30k i was dreaming if i earn £50k i will be fulfilled. Then i earn £50k but still not enough.

now i earn £80K still dont have that feeling. In my conclusion money its never enough to make you feel safe.

Biscofffans · 09/12/2023 00:46

I think I’d be more relaxed about money if I earned 60K and/or I had a partner. I think with a single income there can always be a bit of uneasiness as there’s less of a safety net.

I currently earn about £42K from two streams of income and I’m fortunate enough to live in a nice flat with reasonably low rent. I think whether you have a partner or not and whether you have kids or not can make a big difference. If I had kids I’d not only want to be earning 60K but I’d want my partner to be earning similar - at least 40K so we had a joint income of 100K.

Planning to make some changes in the next year so I’ll hopefully be earning closer to 60K and relax a bit more. I’m hardly frugal now but I do find myself checking my banking app quite a lot not too long after payday lol

Marionberry · 09/12/2023 00:49

Mortgage paid off, I was 36.

Catza · 09/12/2023 08:55

uradg · 08/12/2023 22:11

@Catza how much did you earn to be able to do that? I only save 250 currently

I won’t say but it’s not a lot. It’s just that my outgoings are rather small - paid off mortgage, old car bought outright etc. I work in the NHS so that will give you some idea. Nothing close to 6 figures.
I don’t throw money away but I also don’t count pennies. I would never blow thousands on a holiday, for example but still travel a couple of times a year.

fitforflight · 09/12/2023 09:13

Ladybughello · 08/12/2023 23:22

What are you saving for? Amazing house / early retirement maybe? No judgement of course - just curious!

Show quote history

I was a single parent after getting pregnant as a teenager, I worked from when my daughter was six months old, tax credits helped me with nursery and I basically had the bare minimum left over for everything else. Not saving for anything in particular nowadays, but I know how desperate and vulnerable I felt back then and I guess you never know what's the round the corner, I just want to make sure as best as I can if I became a single parent again or lost my job, or one of us became ill that I wouldn't have to feel the desperation I felt at 18 with a baby. Not a bright cheery story I know but money is my safety net now, a nicer house and retirement aren't even a factor yet 😂

Leafysuburb · 09/12/2023 09:14

It was about earning to mortgage ratio for us. So being able to afford the mortgage on half of one of our salaries.

SuspiciousSue · 09/12/2023 09:17

I’d say £35k. But that’s because at that point I’d also paid off all debts and my DH had a well paid job too. When I was a broke single mum on a part time wage which was about £600 a month, topped up by child benefits and tax credits that was hard times.

Ginmonkeyagain · 09/12/2023 09:18

To me it is not about income level per se (although that helps) but outgoings.

I feel more relaxed now I have paid off my student loan, own property (mortgage is much less than rent and unlike rent a pretty fixed cost that will go down over time rather than up) and have no other debt.

Hedjwitch · 09/12/2023 09:23

Never been relaxed about it and probably never will, but having a little bit in savings helps me to breathe a bit easier. Am nearly 60 tho so its been a long road

margotrose · 09/12/2023 09:26

We earn about 50k between us and are very comfortable.

But we don't have children, our mortgage is only £300 a month and we have very few outgoings.

jay55 · 09/12/2023 09:27

When I was in my 20s and in a long term relationship and we earned 50k between us I felt pretty secure. We could pay everything have nice holidays and put something in savings.

Now I earn close to 100k but my work is insecure, my rent is insane and I am not sure I'll ever feel it again.

BrightLightTonight · 09/12/2023 09:29

When outgoings are considerably less than income

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