How much did you earn before you felt you had enough to relax a bit about money?

[uradg]

I am in my thirties and feel constantly worried about money despite earning more than average. Is this normal? When will I feel more relaxed about money? It’s a constant source of stress

Don't compare yourself to others, it only brings unhappiness. Me and a few others have said how we used to have help from tax credits/UC to get by so we know how easily circumstances can change, and the other way round too!
Mumsnet is an echo chamber sometimes, everyone earns six figures with 50% bonuses etc. On other threads everyone's struggling with the cost of living and claiming everything under the sun. It really is a whole other world on here and the reality for most is somewhere in between. Be gentle to yourself and don't get bogged down with anyone else's circumstances, as long as you're doing the best you can then you should be proud!

For me it will be being debt free. It is all servicable debt but eats so much of our household income. I'm on circa £50k DH slightly more but our next promotions take us into the £70-80k bracket so I am aasuming we will feel more comfortable then.

Live in SE, big mortgage, nursery fees etc. I do constantly worry how much is on my credit card

When I paid off the mortgage and had £3k income after tax. I’m a single parent and this allows Dd and I to have a decent life, savings and money for emergencies.

Don't take it seriously, lots of people make it up!

I think I really relaxed about money when I worked out I had enough equity in my home to buy a family sized house in many cheaper parts of the UK. Knowing I would always be able to have a roof over my head was a biggie for me as I’d had a difficult time in my late teens until mid 20’s.

I'm on £30k, definitely don't feel relaxed now, but before COVID/insane inflation I was planning for £30k to finally feel safe and ready to buy a house finally. The problem is the goalposts have moved at an insane rate in 3 years.

Between us we bring in about 70K and I don't worry about eating, heating or paying the mortgage but I have no idea how we can ever afford to replace bathrooms and kitchens that are starting to fall apart. Not to mention the fence that will need doing at some point.

We don't lead a luxurious lifestyle, our mortgage is small and we don't go on many holidays but money soon goes.

It's infuriating that basic living is so expensive. By the time all of our essentials are paid we are left with about £300 which quickly gets eaten up with a family day out here or there, a vet bill, needing to replace something broken, school stuff.

We could cut back on food which is our biggest expense but we don't do anything else, we don't go out much and we don't go on holiday ever year so it's my biggest frivolity.

Maybe when the kids leave home we can finally put some money into the house. A long way to go yet though!

I agree with previous comments about it not being the actual amount you have coming in but the amount you have going out.
I also feel it's relevant to where in the country you live.

I agree with others that is the income v expenses v savings equation that affects how I feel rather than the actual numbers.

I have a number of fixed costs that run for the next few years
Mortgage
School Fees
Uni costs as neither of mine get the full loan due to parental income

Once those are paid off / pre funded then our income: expenses ratio become very good and our savings buffer will seem much bigger because it will cover more months of living expenses with the same sized savings pot.

We are reasonably frugal and I am all over the finances with multiple spreadsheets and sinking funds.

It solely depends on your outgoings though. Me and DH between us don't earn huge amounts (him 50k me part time probably only 10-12k a year) with two kids, but we have a smallish, affordable mortgage, and not much in the way of other debts, and we feel comfortable in the way we can buy what we want/need when we need to, go on holiday frequently, and definitely don't look forward to pay day like I know alot of people do. I think our biggest factor in feeling comfortable is the affordable mortgage. We only pay around £500 a month, where as friends we know (who actually earn alot more than us) have a mortgage of over £2000 a month, and constantly feel skint. Their house is alot bigger and nicer, but ours is a perfectly adequate 4 bed with ample space in a nice area, and I'd take it anyday over owning the farmhouse with land, but struggling to pay for groceries each week.

If you can save and don't have debts I think that's a very good position to be. Doesn't matter how much you save. We earn now more than 8 years ago but got stupid loan for a stupidly expensive car, bills are crazy, nursery fees are eye watering. So we have less disposable income than when we earned much less. I understand now that appetite grows with the more money you make so they key is not to raise the bar and spending less

I suppose one of the reasons I don’t feel that much richer is that in Scotland the tax rates are higher. I’ve lost child benefit. But the cost of living seems to be increasing every bloody time we go to the supermarket

Honey, you already are quite rich.

But thus is MN where a 4 bed detached with two bathrooms in a nice area is "adequate" 😂

Totally depends on outgoings. We earn about £115k between us, but have an expensive mortgage for the new few years at least, and childcare bills of 2k a month. On a lower income a few years ago we felt much more financially comfortable. 1k a month savings is brilliant though!

I think this depends on your financial situation before this- I grew up not having to think about money but when I went it alone and then got married we got into debt (kids/ childcare/ buying at wrong time/issues with property) and we had years of struggling. We finally started getting out of it in the last three years but I am terrified to spend money and a few people have told me we need to start remembering we’re not where we were financially. So no help but is just in case it’s a mindset reason

I earn about £60k
DH earns about 55k

we feel comfortable despite nursery fees of almost £1000 a month

This is what I've seen called "lifestyle inflation" (not the nursery fees, but the car!). I tend to think considered lifestyle inflation is fine - I'm certainly guilty of it and it's improved my quality of life. What I try and avoid is lifestyle inflation without thought.

For example I pay for a cleaner, which is definitely lifestyle inflation. But it means my whole house is clean and tidy almost all the time. I thought about it for a couple of years (A little excessive!) before I took the plunge and spent half a pay rise on it. It's brought me a lot of happiness and while it means I have less money, I don't worry about the cleaning so my net worry is lower!

Whereas I know (for me) a fancy car wouldn't do that, so I run a 12 year old small car and intend to keep running it til it dies. Whereas for my friend who really values her car, a fancy car is a considered and worthwhile bit of lifestyle inflation.

I also agree with the various posts that reference the ratio of income: outgoings: savings (both total and ongoing) as being what determines how worried I am.

It wasn’t really about how much we earned, it was a lot on paper but our outgoings were and are very high.

I would say I was able to relax when I had £20,000 or so in savings.

Only then did I feel “comfortable” and able to spend frivolously, book a holiday etc

I came from a poor childhood and it leaves its mark.

These replies are ridiculous from the top 1 or 5% of earners. Utter nonsense. If you can pay all your bills and have a credit card for emergencies you are grand.

I don't think it's about earnings, but life stage and commitments.

I'm pretty relaxed now, despite earning less than I have in the past, but DC are financially independent, the mortgage is paid off and I know I have a decent pension coming.

Once I hit 45k. And that was living alone in London. I bought a (very tiny cheap) flat in SE London alone, with no help, on that salary in 2021. It wiped out all my savings but I’ve saved up again since. Now living with a partner, me on about 60k (self employed, so can vary) and him also self employed on 25k. We don’t have any cars or kids and no plans to have either, we’d rather have 4-5 holidays a year. I grew up very poor and feel comfortable and secure now but in MN world I’m sure it’s considered a pittance.

The replies aren’t ridiculous. The OP asked for posters own opinions. It’s not for you to judge them.

What you’re describing is a very precarious way to live. What if you have several emergencies & then a credit card bill you can’t afford to pay? I’d hate to live like that.

About 15 years ago I got my first proper job, at about £32K. Renting a lovely flat in a major city with partner, I easily saved £800 per month without trying. I was very comfortable. Unfortunately with current crazy cost of living I’m sure people in a similar situation are nowhere near as comfortable! 😢

50k but I’m sure it’s more of a mental thing than reality as I still scrimp and scrape

I can definitely see how that would lead you to want to save, and hopefully you’ll end up being able to spend it all on something lovely one day!