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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ticketed school event

103 replies

RooStreet · 08/12/2023 18:16

Work at a school where have an event coming up that is ticketed due to health and safety. Despite there being limited tickets available, there were 2 tickets per family offered.

We've had a few parents asking for tickets but we've none left, some only wanted 1 ticket as single families/only 1 person available due to work etc. It seems a bit unfair that some kids have 2 people from their family coming to see them, others will have 0.

Now, obviously, there was never going to be enough tickets for every child to have someone there... however, would it not have been fairer to limit the tickets to 1 per family, as then there would have been more tickets available for the families who have missed out?

We just sold 2 tickets to one family this morning, then had a single dad come in an hour later asking for 1 ticket and had to say no.

On the other hand... Some guardians might need 2 tickets as need a carer to come with them to attend ? In which case it would also seem unfair to limit it to 1 ticket.

I suppose 1 ticket per child, unless there's a need for a carer to attend which would be a special circumstance for 2 tickets? Idk, is that intrusive? Probably

I guess we'd never get it right

YANBU - 1 ticket per family is fairer as more
families get a chance to have someone attend

YABU - 2 is fine

OP posts:
jersydress · 09/12/2023 08:04

I'll sound like a pretty grumpy person but the incompetence is unbelievable.
Was it one person in charge of this decision or there was a team of them sipping their coffee together and agreeing this is a good plan?!
Honestly, I feel like more people are pretty rubbish at their jobs, getting away with all sorts.

PiggieWig · 09/12/2023 08:08

Has the school never put a show on before? I can’t understand how this would only just be getting figured out.

My kids school always had an afternoon performance and an evening one, sometimes two evenings, to allow parents to be able to make it.

Chipsandbeansandcheese · 09/12/2023 08:09

Well then you need another show!

Our school does 2 if not 3 performances of every show. Plus they hold one for the rest of the school during school time.

Only holding one performance which doesn’t allow all parents to attend isn’t ok.

OnceUponATimeInChristmasTime · 09/12/2023 08:10

Every child should have the chance to have at least one adult there.
I've worked in schools for nearly ten years and can't imagine any scenario where it would be allowed to have a first come, first served policing to a child's nativity! There would be uproar!

HardcoreLadyType · 09/12/2023 08:14

OCDmama · 09/12/2023 00:05

I'm really confused. If there are 2 tickets allocated per family why is anyone missing out?

Every family regardless of how many kids are at the school can send 2 people.

Why have you got parents not being able to go?

It’s literally in the OP!

They have offered 2 tickets per family, but there are not enough spaces for 2 each.

Lots of people have bought 2, meaning some who came later cannot even get 1.

They should have offered 1 per family, and then offered out the spares once these were all taken (lottery or 1st in best dressed, whichever).

Quisto · 09/12/2023 08:20

Our Junior School does 4 performances, 2 in the afternoon and 2 in the evening , 2 tickets per child, with a waiting list for spares. That does rely on having compliant parents who bring their children back for evening performances though. Not all parents do.

Takeoutyourhen · 09/12/2023 08:25

Some schools issue stern emails about ticketed events having to be adhered to and childfree ones. Then send one again after the event to say we did say 2 tickets per child and no children in the audience but still people turned up and challenged staff so we took the decision to go ahead as the performance was just about to start.
Obviously very unfair on those who did organise childcare.
Families come in all different sizes - what if the mum could not attend but the stepdad could (one ticket) and the dad and their partner could attend (two tickets) - how does the primary school manage saying yes/no unless it was just one person from each household? Turns out they just let them in anyway so the school ends up backing down at the last minute.

Trainstrike · 09/12/2023 08:27

Our school is shit like this too! Years 3-6 do ONE performance of a carol service so there's only enough for 1 per person. God forbid they have the sense to run two shows. They're useless in many ways though.

JoyeuxNarwhal · 09/12/2023 09:17

Has it always been like that at your school @RooStreet or have they changed venue this year or something?

In our primary priority was for parents/carers of reception and year 6 kids, then kids in other years with big parts, then the rest. Always 2 performances, one during the school day and one evening.

Loopytiles · 09/12/2023 09:20

v poor management by the school, impacting negatively on the DC.

Ardith · 09/12/2023 09:33

Really pisses menoff when a school expects the children to work hard regearsing for months then doesn’t bother to put on enough shows so that all parents can watch.

The problem is the school not putting on 3 shows.

If they aren’t going to bother organising the performance properly then they shouldn’t organise a show at all.

And yes ALL children should have been offered one parental ticket before anyone got two.

Sounds like your head is shit but I expect you already know that.

OCDmama · 09/12/2023 09:40

HardcoreLadyType · 09/12/2023 08:14

It’s literally in the OP!

They have offered 2 tickets per family, but there are not enough spaces for 2 each.

Lots of people have bought 2, meaning some who came later cannot even get 1.

They should have offered 1 per family, and then offered out the spares once these were all taken (lottery or 1st in best dressed, whichever).

Show quote history

Woah, okay.

I just assumed if there were two tickets allocated per family then of course there would be two tickets available. OP never explicitly said that they'd 'oversold'.

Sorry, up late at night with a baby. I was just checking I understood.

Ilianor · 09/12/2023 09:40

We just swap spare tickets in one of the many parent whatsapp groups or the more official Facebook one - eg I've a spare ticket for Tuesday night so I put that up and x's dad uses it.

OuiOuiMonAmiJeMappelleLafayette · 09/12/2023 09:46

Kids no longer at primary, but they used to do 2 shows and it was 2 tickets per family. You could either have 2 tickets for the same show or 1 ticket
for both shows. Tickets were allocated on a first come first serve basis, there would always be enough but if one show was more popular you would get the less popular one if you hadn't been fast enough!

mindutopia · 09/12/2023 10:02

How could there possibly be a class so big that they can squeeze all the kids into one play but not have space for 1 parent each?

If it’s say, 3 classes of 30 each, that’s 90 kids. Is there really not a room/hall/village hall/church that can seat 90?!

Mine are in a super tiny village school with no central space at all (no room for assembly, no dining room, kids eat at their desks). They use the church in the village and there are no restrictions as church (small village one) can still seat 200 at a push. They divide up the nativity play so about 40 children in each play. Plenty of space for everyone.

Wheelz46 · 09/12/2023 10:34

My children's primary school do a daytime and evening show. It's 2 tickets per show but they have enough space for each child to have 2 people in the audience.

When opening up the tickets, they put a note on there if there is any spare tickets by x date they then put those on sale on a first come first served basis.

This seems the most sensible option to me but if there wasn't enough tickets for even 1 adult per child then the school need to look at providing additional showings limiting the tickets to ensure someone doesn't buy tickets for both shows.

ViolaSmart · 09/12/2023 11:58

There should be enough shows so that all parents are able to see their child perform.

Cazaletto · 09/12/2023 12:04

I want a screenshot of the class WhatsApp groups right now 😁
What a crap way to treat the school community.

Homesweethome23 · 09/12/2023 12:06

If every family can not be offered at least one ticket for the one performance then either have another performance or cancel altogether. At primary age it means the world to a child of a parent/cater can make it I would not have been dropping mine back and forth if I wasn’t able to see the show myself due to a lack of ticket, I also don’t think my child would have performed without me watching them.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/12/2023 12:07

RooStreet · 08/12/2023 18:23

Why offer 2 tickets per family if there won't be enough tickets available for every family

There wouldn't have been enough when offering 1 ticket per family! But, I think still would have been fairer?

Higher ups went with 2 per family and 1 show, I don't have jurisdiction here, just thinking, and maybe I could raise it with them for next year. Only 1 show.

Sorry but that's an utter shit show.

One form entry, juniors aka Yr1 to Yr3 do one show twice, 90 kids so 180 parents split across two showings. Juniors do the same, Yr4-6 so 90 kids, 180 parents, two shows.

If you can't fit 180 people in a hall, you do smaller shows.

Longma · 09/12/2023 12:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Original poster
RooStreet · 09/12/2023 13:14

If it’s say, 3 classes of 30 each, that’s 90 kids. Is there really not a room/hall/village hall/church that can seat 90?!

2 form entry so approx 60 kids in a year, but they've done Year 3/4/5/6 as one show, and are doing it in school. It makes no sense to me why they've chosen to do that. I don't know everything about how it's to run, but where they've done similar with multiple classes before they had other classes waiting in nearby classrooms and swapped them around with the class on stage to do their part etc... so they could do separate shows! The more I think on it and how it must work, the more frustrated I feel by it. There's no need to do it this way.

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 09/12/2023 15:53

You are right. There is no need to do it this way at all.

You should show the school's management this thread.

What I don't understand is how ANYONE could think it is a good idea to rehearse children for a show, expect them to turn up for the show, but not have enough space to offer the parents a ticket for the show. It's just barmy, and I can't understand how no-one has raised this in the staffroom Confused

Floralnomad · 09/12/2023 15:59

What a stupid way to run things . Frankly if I didn’t have a ticket to watch I’d be asking my child if they really wanted to bother , and hope they said no .

Redmat · 09/12/2023 16:21

No thought at all has gone into this . What is the head thinking!
Parents have every right to complain very loudly .

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