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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ticketed school event

103 replies

RooStreet · 08/12/2023 18:16

Work at a school where have an event coming up that is ticketed due to health and safety. Despite there being limited tickets available, there were 2 tickets per family offered.

We've had a few parents asking for tickets but we've none left, some only wanted 1 ticket as single families/only 1 person available due to work etc. It seems a bit unfair that some kids have 2 people from their family coming to see them, others will have 0.

Now, obviously, there was never going to be enough tickets for every child to have someone there... however, would it not have been fairer to limit the tickets to 1 per family, as then there would have been more tickets available for the families who have missed out?

We just sold 2 tickets to one family this morning, then had a single dad come in an hour later asking for 1 ticket and had to say no.

On the other hand... Some guardians might need 2 tickets as need a carer to come with them to attend ? In which case it would also seem unfair to limit it to 1 ticket.

I suppose 1 ticket per child, unless there's a need for a carer to attend which would be a special circumstance for 2 tickets? Idk, is that intrusive? Probably

I guess we'd never get it right

YANBU - 1 ticket per family is fairer as more
families get a chance to have someone attend

YABU - 2 is fine

OP posts:
FrangipaniBlue · 08/12/2023 22:29

RooStreet · 08/12/2023 18:32

Is this primary or secondary?

Yes it is primary event, and I think you're right regarding complaints. Had one parent who was with their child I had to say no to, both her and child looked crushed.

This is really sad 😔

Original poster
RooStreet · 08/12/2023 22:30

It's an after school event. It takes place an hour after school and lasts for an hour. This essentially means that children with a parent without a ticket will find it hard to be there. What parent is going to drop their child back at school and then pick them back up again an hour later when they can't see them sing/dance?

Plus all the children have been practicing in lessons, meaning they all want to do it and are excited. They've been told that when the show finishes, they go to their parents. Awkward for a child to be there without a parent really, they'd be dropped off and then the parent would have to wait until the end and quickly go in to pick up child/have a parent who had a ticket bring them out to them...

OP posts:
BridetoBee · 08/12/2023 22:33

@RooStreet you need to add another event/show. As a teacher, if they’re already prepped it’s no hardship and you can give first refusal to anyone who doesn’t haven’t tickets. Next time, consider how many tickets you will need for all parents to have a go at whatever your school considers acceptable (I.e. our head likes 2 tickets per family for each event which is just about doable with 50 children if the stage goes out the right way!)

YourNameGoesHere · 08/12/2023 22:34

RooStreet · 08/12/2023 22:30

It's an after school event. It takes place an hour after school and lasts for an hour. This essentially means that children with a parent without a ticket will find it hard to be there. What parent is going to drop their child back at school and then pick them back up again an hour later when they can't see them sing/dance?

Plus all the children have been practicing in lessons, meaning they all want to do it and are excited. They've been told that when the show finishes, they go to their parents. Awkward for a child to be there without a parent really, they'd be dropped off and then the parent would have to wait until the end and quickly go in to pick up child/have a parent who had a ticket bring them out to them...

Honestly do the staff organising the event at your school even like children? It sounds like it's being run by Miss Truchbull!

BananaSplitsss · 08/12/2023 22:34

One of them “ damned if you do damned if you don’t scenarios”

Matronic6 · 08/12/2023 22:48

YANBU. Very poor of decision makers not to have considered such logistics.

YireosDodeAver · 08/12/2023 22:51

Under these circumstances it's unreasonable for the school not to put on multiple shows. What a horrible thing to do to kids to make them put all this effort into a show and then prevent their parents from seeing it.

UsingChangeofName · 08/12/2023 22:55

One of them “ damned if you do damned if you don’t scenarios”

Not really.
Everyone is of the same opinion that you can't ask children to get involved in a show and then not allow their parents to come and see the show.

I get it is tiring to put on two , or three shows but you have to allow parents the opportunity to see the show - or, all the children to have their parents there. So you either have fewer children taking part (just Yr 3 or just Yr 6 - so everyone gets their turn) or you put on more shows.

LadyGAgain · 08/12/2023 22:58

Really poorly organised and I can't believe the head has allowed this to happen.

LolaSmiles · 08/12/2023 23:01

I get it is tiring to put on two , or three shows but you have to allow parents the opportunity to see the show - or, all the children to have their parents there. So you either have fewer children taking part (just Yr 3 or just Yr 6 - so everyone gets their turn) or you put on more shows
Agree with this.

It seems the school have tried to do one show with more children in and then not made appropriate plans for parents to see their children. That could be upsetting for a child who thinks their parents haven't bothered when school decided to organise something knowing a set number of children wouldn't have parents there.

steff13 · 08/12/2023 23:04

Couldn't they have held the play at a larger venue? My daughter is in the orchestra at her junior high school and they always have their performances at the high school because of the auditorium holds a lot more people.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 08/12/2023 23:13

That's absolutely awful organisation, there's going to be a lot of upset kids and pissed of parents.

You can't expect kids to do a performance and not allow parents to see it. It's totally unfair and quite pointless.

You either do it in a space big enough for every family to have 2 tickets - to allow for seperated parents / carers etc etc - or you do enough performances that everyone in it can have family come to at least one performance, or you have a cast small enough that all parents can come. Preferably with multiple plays or concerts or whatever so everyone gets a go.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if half the cast don't turn up. Probably far less upsetting for the kids to do something nice instead and miss the performance than have to do it knowing Mum and Dad weren't allowed to see it.

Our school has a small hall. So every year does a performance seperately, and every child (or sibling group if in the same year) gets 2 tickets. They do 2 performances, and sometimes parents swop between themselves if they want to have 4 people go to one performance and miss the other rather than 2 go to each.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 08/12/2023 23:17

I can't actually think of a worse way they could have organised it. Even having the kids perform just for the other school pupils would have been better than horribly disappointing the ones with parents that couldn't get tickets.

MrsAvocet · 08/12/2023 23:27

My daughter is a dance teacher and she had a similar problem with a show one year - too many people wanting tickets for one show but not enough to cover the costs of hiring the hall for 2 performances. So she set a limit on how many tickets could be sold for each pupil up until a certain date, then any remaining after that were first come first served. It didn't please everyone of course - there were some kids with huge extended families who all wanted to come but couldn't- but it did give every child the opportunity to have someone in the audience and most people did seem to think it was fair.

OCDmama · 09/12/2023 00:05

I'm really confused. If there are 2 tickets allocated per family why is anyone missing out?

Every family regardless of how many kids are at the school can send 2 people.

Why have you got parents not being able to go?

Original poster
RooStreet · 09/12/2023 00:19

Why have you got parents not being able to go

Not enough tickets were allocated. There were a set number of tickets "first come first serve", but each family was allowed 2 tickets.

OP posts:
JustAGirlScotland · 09/12/2023 00:29

I worked in education for over 2 decades and IMO when it comes to these sort of decisions it is best to put the child at the centre. Is is right that one child will be stood there on stage with no one watching (when they had an adult who was available to attend) when their class mate has 2 parents watching? Absolutely not!

This system needs readdressing!

In my son's school they did an afternoon performance on day and an evening performance the following day. This meant shift working parents hopefully had a chance to attend (several months notice was given re: dates/times). Every child was allocated 2 tickets (if required) to be bought by X date. Unsold tickets were sold on a first come first served basis for additional adults (typically grandparents).

henrysugar12 · 09/12/2023 06:24

Is it in school time or in the evening? You'll probably find that the parents without tickets won't bring their children if they don't have tickets.

PuttingDownRoots · 09/12/2023 06:44

They need to put on an extra performance if they can't offer enough tickets!

Our school play was performed three times last summer, sell out every night.

CasperGutman · 09/12/2023 06:59

A primary school Christmas show where a significant proportion of the children can't have any family member in the audience is not well thought through.

Our school shows have generally been in the school hall, and for one year group (60 kids) at a time so that every family gets two spaces.

This year they've switched to one show for the whole junior section, so 240 kids. But they've also switched to an alternative venue, and organised two performances, so everychild still gets two tickets.

Some people have still complained that both performances are during the school day and they haven't been able to get time off work, but our arrangements still sound MUCH better than saying "Sorry, it's first come first served and all the tickets have gone!"

Globe22 · 09/12/2023 06:59

I’m sorry but if I had to drop my child off an hour after school finished and not be able to watch and collect an hour later, they wouldn’t be going.

disappearingfish · 09/12/2023 06:59

The whole thing sounds like a complete disaster. They need to put on a second show! And you're right about the timing, idiotic to have a one hour gap between the end of school and the start of the show.

UnimaginableWindBird · 09/12/2023 07:38

Two shows. My kid's primary school also did a daytime performance for the rest of the school/ dress rehearsal which was open to SAHP with preschool children.

SnowsFalling · 09/12/2023 07:51

Just checking I've got this right.
There are, say, 100 families in the school.
Hall has capacity for 80 parents. Somewhere between 40 and 80 kids will have parents there?

Yes, that's disgusting. You need to split the event into upper and lower juniors. Or do 2 shows - but that doesn't solve the coming back into school bit.

Nothankyou22 · 09/12/2023 07:54

Ours is limited to two tickets but there’s enough for everyone, we do year group things rather than whole school.
surely they need to have enough space for everyone, our old school didn’t but all performances would be done in the local church or community hub.