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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go out so often??

60 replies

LG123 · 07/12/2023 21:18

Either my mum sits or I have a regular babysitter who I've used for 2 years.

I tend to go out twice a week, I'm a lone parent with no father involvement to 2 children.

Both a usually in bed by the time I go out (not all) but everyone that sees me seems to think I should be at home 24 fecking 7 and I'm sick to the back teeth of the judgy comments and opinions - ARE YOU LOOKING AFTER MY CHILDREN? NO! SO KEEP YOUR FUCKING OPINIONS TO YOURSELF AND MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.

OP posts:
Motheranddaughtertotwo · 07/12/2023 21:20

So you only want opinions from people who look after your child but post on a public forum for opinions? That makes perfect sense 🙄

Original poster
LG123 · 07/12/2023 21:22

That isn't what I meant, it's the snide remarks from the same people everytime - who don't have any responsibilities!

OP posts:
ChristmasPuddy · 07/12/2023 21:22

What are you doing when you go out?

Original poster
LG123 · 07/12/2023 21:23

@ChristmasPuddy few drinks, food, cinema - whatever takes my fancy really!

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 07/12/2023 21:25

Just ignore them

MrsMiagi · 07/12/2023 21:25

Doesn't matter what we think if you are happy with it does it?

Original poster
LG123 · 07/12/2023 21:27

@MrsMiagi well no I suppose not, but it would be good to get some unbiased opinions because maybe I'm wrong and maybe I should be at home all the time.

OP posts:
LoubylooLucy · 07/12/2023 21:28

I think if you can afford it and your children aren’t missing out on important things, then crack on! Good on you for having the energy to do it!

Whattodo112222 · 07/12/2023 21:29

Goodness, why do you care. Just enjoy it.

bakewellbride · 07/12/2023 21:31

"maybe I'm wrong and maybe I should be at home all the time."

I find that a really odd thing to say. It doesn't have to be twice a week or 'home all the time', there is a middle ground!

However you have chosen twice a week and it's your choice. No one else's business really

Original poster
LG123 · 07/12/2023 21:31

@LoubylooLucy I'd never let them miss out 😌

OP posts:
PremiumRaa · 07/12/2023 21:32

If the children are happy and with a grandparent who they are comfortable with then I don't see the issue, especially since they're normally asleep by the time you're out.

If it was a case of missing bedtime twice a week to do purely social things I would find that slightly strange if I'm being completely honest but only because I couldn't imagine being comfortable missing that time so regularly.

Are you getting in very late and then hungover or exhausted the next morning? If not then I don't see it having too much of an impact of your children.

Original poster
LG123 · 07/12/2023 21:32

@LoubylooLucy I'd never let them miss out 😌

OP posts:
IglesiasPiggl · 07/12/2023 21:35

It's probably more than most parents manage on a regular basis and many might prefer to spend the money on activities with their children rather than a regular babysitter (when it's not your mum). That's probably why you get the comments, but it's really none of their business.

BendingSpoons · 07/12/2023 21:37

I suspect it's more than most people with children go out, but nothing wrong with that if you can afford it. There may be some jealousy from others or a bit of martyrdom (I'm a bit jealous!).

Original poster
LG123 · 07/12/2023 21:38

@PremiumRaa I don't get sozzled each time no, and even if I did I don't get hangovers. If on the rare occasion I've felt naff tough titties, get on with it!

OP posts:
TippyToes123 · 07/12/2023 21:39

Ignore them. They are jealous (I certainly am). Your children aren't missing out on time with you because they're in bed while you're out anyway. Being a lone parent must be exhausting. You deserve time to yourself.

Notimeforaname · 07/12/2023 21:41

It's your life. Do what you want. Spend no time thinking about what others think of your life. Total waste of time.

Next time someone says something, shrug at them or say I'm sorry you feel that way, I have a nice life. 😆

Riverstep · 07/12/2023 21:42

If the two nights are weekends - Fridays and Saturdays then yes I think yabu. The weekends are generally when parents get the best quality time with their kids.

SiliconHeaven · 07/12/2023 21:44

Take no notice of anyone else and do whatever the fuck you like.
I think some people may be jealous of you being able to go out a couple of times a week. I think it’s fantastic, you are very lucky! Enjoy yourself

StJulian2023 · 07/12/2023 21:44

I find being 100% totally responsible for my children incredibly exhausting. I’m glad you’re getting some time. Protect it.

pictoosh · 07/12/2023 21:46

"Next time someone says something, shrug at them or say I'm sorry you feel that way, I have a nice life."

Yes I like this. Lucky you to have the means and support...there's nothing wrong with going out a couple of times a week, plenty of people do. There are no rules.

MrsMiagi · 07/12/2023 21:46

The snarky comments you get could be a bit of jealousy. Lots can't afford to go out every week, what with childcare/mortgage or rent/utilities costs etc.

Stressfordays · 07/12/2023 21:49

Lone parent here! I work 3x 12 hour shifts a week and I usually have a night out once a week/fortnight. I don't feel any guilt, and neither should you. I'm actually out both Friday and Saturday night next week. I have the odd weekend away and leave my kids with my mum. It's no one's business. If I was a single parent with 50/50 I'd have a lot more time to do as I please then I do currently using babysitters and my mum as childcare.

Pinkyyogapanties · 07/12/2023 21:50

You do you!
If you’re happy then you Are likely to be a better parent ! So if your nights out are making you happy- why not.
My youngest is 2 and a half and I have only been out 3 times to dinner with DH since !!! Then add on the 9 month pregnancy!! So it’s been about 3 years since I’ve gone out twice a week!!! I would love to dress up and have some fun!!!!!!