To put 4 and a half month old to sleep alone?

[Giddyupballoon]

I know the official advice is to keep them with you until they are 6 months. But DD does sleep with me but she goes to sleep at 7. Until recently we had her in the lounge with us but we kept her up talking and with the TV. So she’s in the bedside cot upstairs. It’s OK right … <goes to check again>

I think it’s completely up to you! We did similar, checked often and was only for a couple of hours.

I honestly don’t know anyone who is there for all sleeps for 6 months.

Particularly for second babies, it’s just not practical.

Enjoy your evenings!

Yup we did. Had a video monitor on her but she slept so much better once she started going to bed early.

I did.

Most people seem to think I am unreasonable … Arghh, I don’t want to go to bed at 7!

Why can't you put her upstairs to sleep and use a video monitor to keep an eye on her. You really don't need to be going to bed at 7pm just to sit next to her. Technology is wonderful

You’re fine. This mystifies most of us who had our DC 20 years ago. It is utterly impractical to lie in your bedroom every evening when you have other children and a house to run.

My daughter was in her own room at a similar age, she was fine, as long as you have a monitor. Not like you are leaving the house!

Well, that does go against the official advice still. It’s because of risk of SIDS.

But I don’t actually have a video monitor because I really don’t like them, I find them so stress inducing.

Not for me, but if it works for your lifestyle / family I don't think you have to be led by NHS guidelines

The theory is that you breathing reminds them to keep breathing. There’s not a video monitor in the world can replicate that.

Mine went to bed at 7pm from about 8/9 weeks old. Mind, we lived in a flat and the living room and the bedroom were connected, so door open. Presumably baby could still hear tv and us chatting, but it meant I didn't need to go lie down from 7 myself.

We would then lift them at 11pm for a feed when we went tk bed.

I'll caveat this by saying that I put both my DC upstairs to sleep on their own from 3 months as it's just impossible to be with them for every sleep. BUT there's a common misconception that a monitor can do the job just as well which is incorrect. The advice us there because it guards against SIDS - there is some evidence being in the same room as their caregiver seems to regulate the baby's breathing and ensure that they don't slip into such a deep sleep that they stop breathing. I took the view that since I was following all the other advice to protect against SIDS, I'd wouldn't follow that one.

People will be along to tell you the guidelines are concrete rules and if you deviate from them it's child abuse.

In reality we all make decisions based on risk. Will a magic switch be turned on in 6 weeks when she is 'old enough'?

I used to put mine to sleep in the Moses basket but when the noise of tv started to bother them then I put them upstairs in the next to me bed and watched them on the baby monitor.
The baby monitor can be stress inducing but also a major benefit for getting anything done, especially as they get older. Could you have it on whilst they are on their own to try get used to it?

Ds1 was in his own room after a week. I had PND and wasn’t thinking straight, DH had no clue.

ds2 was in our room for a year (!) but had a breathing monitor to cover daytime naps alone and from 7pm - when I came to bed.

I would opt for breathing monitor, I don’t advocate what I did with ds1 even though he’s still here to tell the tale.

Mumsnetters pick and choose which advice to champion.

People will tell you in one breath to keep baby in your line of sight for every sleep (as per NHS advice)

Then the same people advise co sleeping (against NHS advice).

Can't fucking win. Do what you like. Read the pros and cons and make the right choice for you - it's advice not legislation.

For Dc1 we did stick to the ‘rules’ but he was a harder baby sleep wise and only went down after an epic battle and at around 9pm. So I’d go to bed with him as I was also tired. DD is a much better sleeper.

I am with her now though. I do think on balance she’s better in a quiet room. I don’t adhere strictly to all the safe sleep stuff but I did feel a bit uneasy about breaking this rule although I’m not sure why!

I can’t see what comfort a baby monitor brings as, to put it horribly bluntly, it doesn’t tell you if your baby has stopped breathing (I say that as someone whose baby did used to occasionally “forget to breathe” as the paediatrician cheerfully put it)

No longer against NHS advice.

https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/baby-basics/newborn-and-baby-sleeping-advice-for-parents/safe-sleep-advice-for-babies/

This.

Mine were in their own rooms from 7pm with closed doors from a week old.

My DD moved into her own bedroom at 4m as DH snoring was her in the night, we had a normal sound monitor, she’s now 4yrs

as long as she’s in an empty age appropriate bed and you check her every so often I think it’s fine, as others have said there’s no magic switch at 6m

We did the same right around that age. They start being unable to sleep well downstairs with noise and light.

There are a lot of different risk factors re SIDS. We took the view that because we’d eliminated the other factors, the risk of sleeping upstairs alone for a few hours was extremely remote.

But it’s a personal decision and others will have taken a different approach.

We had an angel alarm and he went up and settled well from 4 months. Wouldn’t have done it without the angel alarm though but I over think.