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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas dinner!

145 replies

vixsta2001 · 07/12/2023 20:23

I've just had my head bitten off by dh because i dared to say I wasn't particularly happy about the fact that my mil is making pork for Xmas dinner!

I mean, what's the point of a traditional Christmas dinner if we aren't eating a 'traditional' turkey/ham?

I'm grateful she's hosting, but seriously? Might as well go to the local curry house!

Her argument was that the turkey was so expensive last year! Let me tell you, they are not short of a bob or two, and quite honestly I'm more than happy to contribute towards the cost if she had mentioned it!!

No turkey (I'm not even that keen on) but do like a traditional Xmas dinner, means no cranberry sauce either! And you can't ham the ham with bloody pork!! Ffs...

Dh told me if I have such a problem then I should go round and tell her!! Why can't he see where me and my grown adult kids are coming from and grow some and tell her it's not bloody on!!!

OP posts:
IsItOverYetAndCanIComeOutNow · 07/12/2023 20:47

vixsta2001 · 07/12/2023 20:38

@IsItOverYetAndCanIComeOutNow
EXACTLY! One day, why can't we just be normal and traditional for one. Flipping. Day!

Because traditions are personal / changeable.

MonsteraMama · 07/12/2023 20:49

I don't believe this is real, a grown adult having a temper tantrum that'd put a toddler to shame over turkey? Nah.

IHateLegDay · 07/12/2023 20:51

MonsteraMama · 07/12/2023 20:49

I don't believe this is real, a grown adult having a temper tantrum that'd put a toddler to shame over turkey? Nah.

Exactly!!

ticktickticktickBOOM · 07/12/2023 20:52

Turkey is only a modern tradition. If you were a proper traditionalist you'd be having beef, venison or wild boar. So your MIL is actually more on the money than you are.

grow up.

TwoShades1 · 07/12/2023 20:54

I was hoping this was lighthearted but you seem a bit worked up. Why don’t you take some turkey with you then? Just tell her you couldn’t possibly do Christmas without a turkey and that you will bring some so she doesn’t need to cook 2 meats.

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 20:56

MonsteraMama · 07/12/2023 20:49

I don't believe this is real, a grown adult having a temper tantrum that'd put a toddler to shame over turkey? Nah.

Indeed!

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 20:57

Take this OP

www.iceland.co.uk/p/iceland-5-slices-roast-turkey-80g/87120.html

Brefugee · 07/12/2023 20:58

so if everyone who should be there can't fit in your house, why not ask if you can provide and cook the food at her place?

if you want a "traditional" christmas dinner, why not have one at home with your DH another day?

Original poster
vixsta2001 · 07/12/2023 20:59

It is lighthearted! I just wanted some words of support that I'm not being unreasonable. Of course I'm grateful and of course I'll go along and smile and enjoy the pork, I'm just disappointed Xmas Grin

What I can't get my head around is cost being a valid reason! And we have bloody pork most Sunday dinners when we go round Xmas Hmm

OP posts:
Brefugee · 07/12/2023 20:59

doesn'T sound lighthearted. It sounds like an absolute tantrum

2catsandhappy · 07/12/2023 21:02

Has she ever done a turkey Christmas dinner? Maybe everyone but you likes pork.
I only recently discovered that not only do I not like turkey breast(only the bacon weave) I do not like turkey thigh.

I do however, do a banging turkey drumstick curry in the 'butter chicken' style.

Rainbow1901 · 07/12/2023 21:07

We have been invited out for Xmas lunch so will be having the traditional Turkey, Ham and all the trimmings. But I wouldn't even think of complaining as we were brought up to accept the hospitality however it is offered - be it pork or a even curry!!
Strangely enough though DH has said that he would still like us to have a small stuffed turkey crown or similar from Iceland or wherever as he likes the cold meat and salad offerings that follow the traditional Christmas Meal as well as Bubble and squeak!!
It's not an issue for me and does mean that our neighbour will get a Xmas Dinner at some point over the festive time. (She lives alone and is only in contact with one daughter who lives in Canada - she fell out with the other one years ago!!) We often take turns at cooking a Sunday roast once or twice a month and catering for each other otherwise we'd never have a roast dinner except at the pub and we don't go there very often!!

OftIwandered · 07/12/2023 21:07

Well DH doesn't have to tell her because he doesn't care

Original poster
vixsta2001 · 07/12/2023 21:09

@OftIwandered Dh is a wuss!

OP posts:
Original poster
vixsta2001 · 07/12/2023 21:09

@Rainbow1901 ahh you sound lovely! Wish more neighbours were like you!

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 07/12/2023 21:11

We always have lamb.

I'm 65 and have never had ham with Xmas Dinner, not even growing up when my mother cooked a turkey to death.

Mostlyoblivious · 07/12/2023 21:12

I don’t see turkey as traditional at all. I’d say Goose is.

You can still have all the trimmings, sage and onion stuffing is the best on IMO and then there is the crackling. Embrace the spirit of the day, not the fact you’ve not had your turkey

Cas112 · 07/12/2023 21:14

I wouldn't be to bothered about not offering traditional but I would be SO unhappy about having pork

She must be making sure you never go there for Christmas dinner again, what other explanation 😂

MassageForLife · 07/12/2023 21:15

Read your opening post back and let me know what bit was supposed to sound light-hearted - I'm struggling to figure it out.

I can't imagine being so ungrateful for a dinner being provided for me. Turkey is overrated anyway!

TheCatterall · 07/12/2023 21:15

We don’t like turkey as much as we do alternatives so we always have pork with lovely crackling on Christmas Day. Don’t like it don’t go.

and what absolute tosh whinging about tradition. The tradition can evolve. You are still having a Christmas meal together as a family.

Todaysproblem · 07/12/2023 21:18

Just have ‘traditional’ Christmas dinner the day after, it’s your tradition not your MIL’s. I could never be a guest in someone’s house and throw a fuss over what they decide to cook. Just be happy to be a guest, it’s a huge effort to host.

We’re invited to a young couple’s first Christmas hosting and they’ve decided to cook a Chinese starter and partridge for main. I can’t wait! I’m just happy to turn up all dressed up and enjoy someone else’s effort after hosting every Christmas for over a decade.

KatBurglar · 07/12/2023 21:18

Good lord, turkey isn't even a particularly good meat. We've had Beef Wellington, chicken, duck, salmon en croute, nut roast and turkey for Christmas dinner over the years - whatever the person hosting feels like making.

OP, you are so unreasonable.

Sapphire387 · 07/12/2023 21:19

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 20:57

Hahaha!

Says it's unavailable, OP is all out of luck.

YANBU OP, roast pork is grim.

Needmorelego · 07/12/2023 21:19

As others had said - I thought if you were going to be totally traditional you'd be eating goose?
(Don't really know cos I don't eat much meat)

Missingmyusername · 07/12/2023 21:22

Take your own pre cooked Turkey leg/breast🤷🏼‍♀️