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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I accidentally stole an entire big shop

624 replies

Rayoffingsunshine · 07/12/2023 20:17

I spent about £95 on a big shop 3 weeks ago. I went through the scan and go. I had my two boys with me (2 and 3 months) and I paid using contactless. I didn't grab the receipt which I didn't notice until I got home and was annoyed because the supermarket had an offer for money off voucher if you spend so much that I had intended to grab but only realised I didn't have it when I got home.
I budget everything and wrote the shop on my budget app straight away so I noticed the discrepancy on my account within a few days. I thought it was just taking a little longer than normal to process but 3 weeks later there's still no record of it. I've checked every account I have including my husband's just in case I had his card though I'm certain it was just my day to day debit card. The only thing I can think is that the payment didn't process and I just didn't notice and walked straight out. But surely someone would have stopped me! I remember a friend telling me once, with a tiny shop, just a quick lunch on the go kind of shop, this happened to her once and she was stopped in the car park by security. I don't understand how this has happened. I wouldn't have been quick to leave because my 2 year old moves at a snails pace.

If I go and talk to customer service in the shop will they believe that is was a genuine mistake and just let me pay for it or will I get in trouble?

OP posts:
onlysortoflikegardening · 07/12/2023 22:03

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 22:02

Well I think it’s morally wrong that billionaires act like they own the earth and everything in it.

I'm only responsible for my own integrity and conscience.

Epidote · 07/12/2023 22:03

Enjoy your food. I wouldn't do anything, and definitely not going back to pay a shopping where the payment didn't come in by their mistake. Don't want this mistakes happening, get till with people on it and let people use cash.

You wanted to pay and had the money, you actually made the payment. You only noticed it because you take care of what you spent
Other wouldn't even notice.
And yes, I hate self serving tills, online banking and all this new stuff of get yourself sorted with a machine or a bot.

Duh · 07/12/2023 22:03

busstopbingo · 07/12/2023 21:59

Of course there's a difference between intentional theft and accidental theft. Intent is a major consideration in law even if the outcome is the same.

Show quote history

Yep and the moment you decide to keep the stolen property you have formed criminal intent. Same thing.

Zapzep · 07/12/2023 22:03

If you go back after 3 weeks;

a) you probably won’t be able to pay it back because there tills systems won’t allow it.

b) they may think that offering to pay for shopping after 3 weeks is part of some elaborate scam.

c) if someone on self service got into trouble, for letting you walk away without scanning properly then that person is still in trouble regardless.

fulawitt · 07/12/2023 22:03

Pay back, it's non an issue.

bubbles888 · 07/12/2023 22:04

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 07/12/2023 21:54

I don't recall the detail but something similar happened to me and next time I went in the scanner wouldn't unlock when I scanned my clubcard. That was several weeks later.

If you used your clubcard I reckon you'll need to explain what happened and pay.

I wouldn't offer to pay beciase I reckon there's a high chance of you initiate the payment there will be confusion and you'll end up paying twice when their system catches up.

Hopefully a MN Tesco employee will confirm or refute all that!

I work for Tesco and your correct we can block your clubcard getting a handset next time u try and it would need to be manually unblocked but it doesn't always happen it depends what the colleague has clicked on handset after they have realised.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 07/12/2023 22:05

Mrgrinch · 07/12/2023 20:38

Honestly I think it would be nearly impossible to pay for it now.

You'd need to remember exactly which items you bought and it's more than likely that many of them have changed price in the last few weeks with offers ending and new ones starting.

If you have a guilty conscience about it then I like people's idea of doing a large food bank donation, I'm sure that would be greatly appreciated this time of year.

I disagree if she told them the date and rough time they'd find her on cctv and would work it out. They might even have a print out of her labeled 'thief watch closely' behind the till

Grazyna80 · 07/12/2023 22:07

Op, just pay it forward. I’ve once received double to what I’ve ordered for no additional charge, I just gave it to a person I knew needed it.

ThePoshUns · 07/12/2023 22:08

It is theft.
You haven't paid and you know you haven't paid.
I personally would go back to the shop and explain what has happened and offer to pay.
It's only been 3 weeks. That's nothing in police timescales.
I wouldn't want to be looking over my shoulder personally.

Dakers · 07/12/2023 22:09

I've worked in a Morrisons and 3 Asda stores, there's never been a shoplifting board of folks pictures in any of them lol

Dakers · 07/12/2023 22:09

Egh that was in reply to someone but it didn't work

Duh · 07/12/2023 22:10

Imagine if the OP was “DD went to a friends house and accidentally packed her friend’s prized cuddly toy in her backpack. She didn’t realise at the time. Now we have it we have no intention of returning it.”

Everyone would say that is wrong and theft. It’s the same thing.

I posted earlier about the legal technicality of mens rea (intent) and actus reas (the act) not having to be simultaneous. It’s day one of studying law.

I am not saying that OP morally must or should pay for the shopping, that’s her call. But a failure to do so is legally theft no matter how other posters want to argue otherwise.

onlysortoflikegardening · 07/12/2023 22:11

Dakers · 07/12/2023 22:09

I've worked in a Morrisons and 3 Asda stores, there's never been a shoplifting board of folks pictures in any of them lol

One of the supermarkets I go to has them posted on the front entrance windows for all the customers to see.

bubbles888 · 07/12/2023 22:11

Dakers · 07/12/2023 22:09

I've worked in a Morrisons and 3 Asda stores, there's never been a shoplifting board of folks pictures in any of them lol

Same at tesco 😂 security have cctv of prolific well know shoplifters to look out for but not for something like this we have loads of "walk offs" per week some intentional and some accidental ie contactless failed

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 22:12

ThePoshUns · 07/12/2023 22:08

It is theft.
You haven't paid and you know you haven't paid.
I personally would go back to the shop and explain what has happened and offer to pay.
It's only been 3 weeks. That's nothing in police timescales.
I wouldn't want to be looking over my shoulder personally.

Lol! You are in cloud cuckoo land if you think the police are going to launch some huge investigation into this! Op really doesn't need to be looking over her shoulder...

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 22:13

Frabbits · 07/12/2023 21:55

Nope.

Honesty and integrity just matter more to some people than others.

Spin it how you like, but knowingly keeping something you haven't paid for is a scummy thing to do.

Show quote history

Again integrity is subjective

NoChristmasBugs · 07/12/2023 22:13

I wouldn’t put £95 in a food bank just yet in case they do come for your money and you can’t afford to donate that much, but say do so in 3months if that’s what you want to do.

ThePoshUns · 07/12/2023 22:14

@Comedycook I am a police officer

DoodlesMam · 07/12/2023 22:14

I'd go and pay for it and say i did contactless and the kids distracted me. They will be so astonished you were honest they wont' do anything i'm sure.

bubbles888 · 07/12/2023 22:14

OP if you really want to go in and speak to customer service it would be up to them what to do either pay it or not and if u don't want to do that then the least that will happen is when u try get a hand held again it will either be locked for someone to manually unlock it or when u go to pay for your shop at self scan it will go through a security check

BlazingJune · 07/12/2023 22:14

It's an eye opener here, reading how many dishonest people are out there.

It's really depressing. to be honest.

ThePoshUns · 07/12/2023 22:15

And we do investigate shoplifting. And it isn't always resolved in less than 3 weeks.

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 22:16

ThePoshUns · 07/12/2023 22:14

@Comedycook I am a police officer

I stand corrected then if you think they will actually investigate this....I suppose you must know!

Elvis1956 · 07/12/2023 22:16

And if they had just paid a member of staff to check out your shop...their fault for being cheap skates on staffing

Sittingonabench · 07/12/2023 22:17

I’d go- explain and apologise. If they say they can’t do anything then I would pay it forward. Think how this models to your kids - you made a mistake, tried to correct it and if you can’t then you make amends in other ways. Well done for spotting it and feeling asking how to resolve it.