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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I accidentally stole an entire big shop

624 replies

Rayoffingsunshine · 07/12/2023 20:17

I spent about £95 on a big shop 3 weeks ago. I went through the scan and go. I had my two boys with me (2 and 3 months) and I paid using contactless. I didn't grab the receipt which I didn't notice until I got home and was annoyed because the supermarket had an offer for money off voucher if you spend so much that I had intended to grab but only realised I didn't have it when I got home.
I budget everything and wrote the shop on my budget app straight away so I noticed the discrepancy on my account within a few days. I thought it was just taking a little longer than normal to process but 3 weeks later there's still no record of it. I've checked every account I have including my husband's just in case I had his card though I'm certain it was just my day to day debit card. The only thing I can think is that the payment didn't process and I just didn't notice and walked straight out. But surely someone would have stopped me! I remember a friend telling me once, with a tiny shop, just a quick lunch on the go kind of shop, this happened to her once and she was stopped in the car park by security. I don't understand how this has happened. I wouldn't have been quick to leave because my 2 year old moves at a snails pace.

If I go and talk to customer service in the shop will they believe that is was a genuine mistake and just let me pay for it or will I get in trouble?

OP posts:
FrostieBoabby · 07/12/2023 21:51

I would go back to the store and ask to speak to a supervisor, explain what happened and pay up.

I wouldn't take the risk that they would eventually catch up with me. All it takes is checking CCTV then watching what car you get into in the car park and the police will find you.

Also, imagine if some poor elderly person who used that till after you ended up paying for your shopping as well as their own.

Lesina · 07/12/2023 21:52

That shop value is a minuscule percentage of what they take in a day and will be not even register on the bottom line. They make millions and pay fuck all tax. Give the value of your shop to your local food bank or homeless shelter. Pay it forward.

onlysortoflikegardening · 07/12/2023 21:52

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 21:49

People who think it’s morally wrong, were you raised in a religious environment ?

I was certainly taught it was wrong to steal. Theft pushes up the prices for everyone, as they have to make it up somehow.

Frabbits · 07/12/2023 21:52

Shakeylegs · 07/12/2023 21:40

The chances of any legal recourse against OP are absolutely tiny, and even if some was taken the mitigations are such that there would be no public interest in prosecuting and very little chance of a conviction.

I’m a Magistrate and if this case came before me I’d a) be angry and b) extremely surprised.

Edited
Show quote history

Whether you get prosecuted or not doesn't make a blind bit of difference.

It was a mistake, but now that op has realised there is now intent as they know they didn't pay for the goods. It's shoplifting.

Bethany7 · 07/12/2023 21:52

Goodness don't worry at all and no didn't pay it back. It's not your fault, it's an accident and even if they did check the cameras, they would see you moving out normally, a busy,sleep deprived mum. You didn't do it and then run into the waiting getaway car! Get a few extra bits for the food bank and that's it. Don't worry AT ALL! you didn't do it intentionally and that's what doesn't make it wrong in my opinion. This is a multi million pound supermarket we are talking about which is also v relevant. X

ouchyoubiteybugger · 07/12/2023 21:53

All these people saying pay it forward, she not Robin Hood! You need to go back and offer to pay, if you used your club card it may have what the last out of points added were. I took back a toy when my daughter was little she had stashed in the buggy, it was unpleasant but needed to be done

Bethany7 · 07/12/2023 21:53

Don't not didn't I meant!

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 07/12/2023 21:54

I don't recall the detail but something similar happened to me and next time I went in the scanner wouldn't unlock when I scanned my clubcard. That was several weeks later.

If you used your clubcard I reckon you'll need to explain what happened and pay.

I wouldn't offer to pay beciase I reckon there's a high chance of you initiate the payment there will be confusion and you'll end up paying twice when their system catches up.

Hopefully a MN Tesco employee will confirm or refute all that!

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 21:54

allmyliesaretrue · 07/12/2023 21:44

Lots of dishonest people too...

Show quote history

It wasn't intentional though. The op made an error. I assume the store she was buying from hadn't till trained her...yet they use self checkouts to increase their profits. Therefore they are expecting untrained customers to perform the job of proper checkout assistants. An honest mistake like this is bound to happen.

Fouramclub · 07/12/2023 21:55

@carddino important question - which supermarket has a call centre in Japan?!

Frabbits · 07/12/2023 21:55

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 21:49

People who think it’s morally wrong, were you raised in a religious environment ?

Nope.

Honesty and integrity just matter more to some people than others.

Spin it how you like, but knowingly keeping something you haven't paid for is a scummy thing to do.

Carouselfish · 07/12/2023 21:55

Hmm, yes, should go in and pay it. However, this week I did a big shop. A £3 item wouldn't scan. The till lady said, 'oh just have it' and....I didn't argue.

onlysortoflikegardening · 07/12/2023 21:55

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 21:54

It wasn't intentional though. The op made an error. I assume the store she was buying from hadn't till trained her...yet they use self checkouts to increase their profits. Therefore they are expecting untrained customers to perform the job of proper checkout assistants. An honest mistake like this is bound to happen.

Show quote history

Exactly. No reason to feel bad about a mistake. What you do about it when you discover that mistake is what counts.

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 21:55

Also the op only knows this happened because she's checked her bank statement. I never check mine so I wouldn't even know if this had happened to me.

Mumof3girlsandaboy · 07/12/2023 21:56

I was in Sainsbury’s few months ago I was using self checkout and a guy was using one as well and he finished scanning everything and packed it away and put his bag on the his shoulder before tapping the card on the machine but he didn’t even wait to see if the transaction has gone through but instead he left and luckily the check assistant saw it and followed him quickly and he came back and tried chip and pin and the card didn’t work and he was rushing to get out of the shop

tkwal · 07/12/2023 21:57

I would contact the customer services at the shop by phone. Record the call if you can , let the employee you speak to know you are doing so. Explain what happened, you clearly intended to pay. You know the approximate time and which day you were there, they should be able to trace your transaction. They might write it off , though I doubt it. I believe in karma so I'd be waiting for the sky to fall in if I didn't make the effort

onlysortoflikegardening · 07/12/2023 21:58

Mumof3girlsandaboy · 07/12/2023 21:56

I was in Sainsbury’s few months ago I was using self checkout and a guy was using one as well and he finished scanning everything and packed it away and put his bag on the his shoulder before tapping the card on the machine but he didn’t even wait to see if the transaction has gone through but instead he left and luckily the check assistant saw it and followed him quickly and he came back and tried chip and pin and the card didn’t work and he was rushing to get out of the shop

I saw that once too. Someone trying to walk off with a full grocery load after urging the person with them to go quickly. I saw their screen was asking for payment. Two minutes later they were hauled in to pay by the checkout supervisor. I think another customer pointed it out to them.

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 21:58

onlysortoflikegardening · 07/12/2023 21:55

Exactly. No reason to feel bad about a mistake. What you do about it when you discover that mistake is what counts.

Show quote history

Well I'd argue that the mistake is the result of the self checkouts...shops use these to cut down on their wage bill. Therefore if this happened to me, I wouldn't be wasting my time sorting it out. If they don't want these sort of errors to happen they need to employ more till trained staff rather than expecting honest customers to operate the self service till perfectly

busstopbingo · 07/12/2023 21:59

C1N1C · 07/12/2023 21:32

I don't see the difference between an accidental theft and an intended theft, and I'm surprised others don't either.

People saying take the win, ignore it, they won't miss it etc, are basically saying theft is OK if you don't get caught. Great role models.

Of course there's a difference between intentional theft and accidental theft. Intent is a major consideration in law even if the outcome is the same.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 07/12/2023 21:59

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 21:49

People who think it’s morally wrong, were you raised in a religious environment ?

I would notify them. Wasn't raised in a religious background but was brought up a strong sense of right/wrong and fairness.

To me, it's just the right thing to do. I don't even have to think about it.

ChampagneLassie · 07/12/2023 22:00

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 20:22

Why do you feel the need to pay it ?

Surely because she got the goods and that is fair and otherwise it is theif and @Rayoffingsunshine sounds honest

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 07/12/2023 22:00

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 21:55

Also the op only knows this happened because she's checked her bank statement. I never check mine so I wouldn't even know if this had happened to me.

You don't check your bank statement regularly ever? 😬

onlysortoflikegardening · 07/12/2023 22:00

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 21:58

Well I'd argue that the mistake is the result of the self checkouts...shops use these to cut down on their wage bill. Therefore if this happened to me, I wouldn't be wasting my time sorting it out. If they don't want these sort of errors to happen they need to employ more till trained staff rather than expecting honest customers to operate the self service till perfectly

Show quote history

i agree they have to accept errors will happen. The odd item here or there is one thing (accidentally, not intentionally), a full shop is another. I personally like the self checkouts. My groceries are packed how I like them every time.

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 22:01

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 07/12/2023 22:00

You don't check your bank statement regularly ever? 😬

Show quote history

I do look at my balance a few times a week but I don't check every transaction...

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 22:02

Well I think it’s morally wrong that billionaires act like they own the earth and everything in it.

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