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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I accidentally stole an entire big shop

624 replies

Rayoffingsunshine · 07/12/2023 20:17

I spent about £95 on a big shop 3 weeks ago. I went through the scan and go. I had my two boys with me (2 and 3 months) and I paid using contactless. I didn't grab the receipt which I didn't notice until I got home and was annoyed because the supermarket had an offer for money off voucher if you spend so much that I had intended to grab but only realised I didn't have it when I got home.
I budget everything and wrote the shop on my budget app straight away so I noticed the discrepancy on my account within a few days. I thought it was just taking a little longer than normal to process but 3 weeks later there's still no record of it. I've checked every account I have including my husband's just in case I had his card though I'm certain it was just my day to day debit card. The only thing I can think is that the payment didn't process and I just didn't notice and walked straight out. But surely someone would have stopped me! I remember a friend telling me once, with a tiny shop, just a quick lunch on the go kind of shop, this happened to her once and she was stopped in the car park by security. I don't understand how this has happened. I wouldn't have been quick to leave because my 2 year old moves at a snails pace.

If I go and talk to customer service in the shop will they believe that is was a genuine mistake and just let me pay for it or will I get in trouble?

OP posts:
Tryingmybestadhd · 07/12/2023 22:26

Try not to worry , it was a mistake . Use it for something nice to you or someone else . If this was a it supermarket I’m sure they can offset the loss

curveofcarus · 07/12/2023 22:27

I once scanned some items. Got home and realised the bottle of wine hadn't scanned. Went back next day to explain. The manager kindly wrote it off and thanked me for going back.

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 22:27

Actually I think the shop owes the op an apology. She tried to pay for something. She had to use the checkout herself and it didn't go through. She made an honest mistake and it's now causing her some anxiety by the sounds of it. I don't think it's fair the op is even put in this position in the first place.

GirlsAloudReturnMadeMyYEAR · 07/12/2023 22:28

Op, good for you for realising. I know many are trying to reassure you saying the store doesn't care but they're duty bound to report all thefts to the police. Go to the store and talk to them about it or better still put it in writing to head office via email - don't say you accidentally stole anything, just what happened and ask them to look into it. Ask them if the payment is missing on their end. You then have it in writing that you have queried this. The posters saying not to do anything aren't really helping you, you have to cover yourself x

allmyliesaretrue · 07/12/2023 22:28

I would never, ever accept a full shop that I hadn't paid for! How the recipient dealt with that would be up to them!

Ger1atricMillennial · 07/12/2023 22:30

GirlsAloudReturnMadeMyYEAR · 07/12/2023 22:28

Op, good for you for realising. I know many are trying to reassure you saying the store doesn't care but they're duty bound to report all thefts to the police. Go to the store and talk to them about it or better still put it in writing to head office via email - don't say you accidentally stole anything, just what happened and ask them to look into it. Ask them if the payment is missing on their end. You then have it in writing that you have queried this. The posters saying not to do anything aren't really helping you, you have to cover yourself x

Agree with this... tell them you noticed a payment didn't go through.

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 07/12/2023 22:30

ThePoshUns · 07/12/2023 22:08

It is theft.
You haven't paid and you know you haven't paid.
I personally would go back to the shop and explain what has happened and offer to pay.
It's only been 3 weeks. That's nothing in police timescales.
I wouldn't want to be looking over my shoulder personally.

She doesn't know she hasn't paid. She can't find it on her statement yet. Maybe the bank made a mistake and it will catch up. Maybe Tesco made a mistake and it will catch up. Since she never got a receipt she presumably doesn't even know exactly how much should have been paid.

She could go back in, hand over £95. (Do the staff even have a mechanism to take money without a corresponding shop?) Later on the real transaction could catch up, either the bank sort it out or Tescos flagged it on her club card. Then she's gonna be charged for the real shop, and it's either going to be a nightmare sorting it out or they simply won't accept that the "fictional" £95 receipt is for the same transaction as the one they have a record of with no payment. In the unlikely event that the police got involved a recept from three weeks later isn't going to help her much.

If she wants to be super honest and legally protect herself then an e-mail to with the date and time of the shop saying she's not sure but the transaction may not have gone through and then let Tesco tell her what to do if they can locate the original transaction and charge her for the specific shop. There's a website somewhere with CEO email addresses, I'd be using that myself.

Sunnydays0101 · 07/12/2023 22:31

I wouldn’t like this hanging over me as such - I’d go back to the store and say you’ve just reconciled your bank account and it doesn’t seem payment has gone through for your shopping on xx date. I wouldn’t say it was a mistake not to pay, just that payment hasn’t come from your account. (If they were look back on their cameras, they’d either see you tapped your card or were hassled and forgot to pay).

Barbarianmumsy · 07/12/2023 22:31

@Watchkeys umm yes, I always believed if you don’t scan barcode it shows on system and barriers will beep. Am I twat, every time I self scan I get anxious I will forget something and be accused of stealing 😂

QS90 · 07/12/2023 22:32

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/12/2023 21:08

Tesco won’t take the loss, @PronounsBaby - a percentage of every price in store covers shrinkage - things that get broken or spoiled, theft from the store and accidents like this one. So basically everyone who shops at Tesco will pay.

Show quote history

By that same logic though, the OP has almost definitely paid Tesco the £95 then? By paying the extra over for shrinkage on every shop she's done previously, and not forgotten to pay for...

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 22:33

BlazingJune · 07/12/2023 22:25

I’m not talking about the law I’m talking about integrity and morality

You're talking nonsense however way you try to explain yourself.

Laws are based on morality. Good v bad, honesty v lies, etc etc.

But you've clearly missed those life lessons.

Not necessarily. Say I’m vegan and you’re not. I accuse you of lack of morality, integrity and character by eating meat. Your argument is that it’s legal. Who’s right ?

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 22:33

What if the op goes to pay...then the original transaction suddenly goes through and she will have paid twice....

QS90 · 07/12/2023 22:36

Things like this are an incentive to Tesco to employ more people to check / help at checkouts. I really wouldn't worry - some people would genuinely not notice, and as such wouldn't pay anything back or worry about it. They'd never be any the wiser 🤷‍♀️

Z1hun · 07/12/2023 22:37

Regr · 07/12/2023 20:31

I’ve had something similar happen years ago. I contacted Tesco online and explained what happened and asked what they’d like me to do.

What did they say?

BestBadger · 07/12/2023 22:37

Duh · 07/12/2023 22:10

Imagine if the OP was “DD went to a friends house and accidentally packed her friend’s prized cuddly toy in her backpack. She didn’t realise at the time. Now we have it we have no intention of returning it.”

Everyone would say that is wrong and theft. It’s the same thing.

I posted earlier about the legal technicality of mens rea (intent) and actus reas (the act) not having to be simultaneous. It’s day one of studying law.

I am not saying that OP morally must or should pay for the shopping, that’s her call. But a failure to do so is legally theft no matter how other posters want to argue otherwise.

I'd argue it doesn't meet the criteria of "dishonestly appropriating", so it wasn't theft. It wouldn't meet the dishonesty test in court all she'd have to do is feign ignorance of the payment not going through.

Your examples are not "the same thing", they may be analogous to, but they are clearly not the same.

WinterParakeets · 07/12/2023 22:41

I'd hold on a while longer. A glitch in the system can sometimes mean things take longer to process and you do need to double check which card you used before you try to pay twice.

Zapzep · 07/12/2023 22:42

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 07/12/2023 22:05

I disagree if she told them the date and rough time they'd find her on cctv and would work it out. They might even have a print out of her labeled 'thief watch closely' behind the till

Show quote history

Work what out? CCTV won’t provide an itemised list of what was in the basket, it also won’t show whether she didn’t scan the card properly or whether there was an error that meant the shop or her bank didn’t process the transaction.

leachesleachesleachesleachesleaches · 07/12/2023 22:43

Dakers · 07/12/2023 22:09

I've worked in a Morrisons and 3 Asda stores, there's never been a shoplifting board of folks pictures in any of them lol

Thank fuck for that. I was having terrors as I once had to enter the code for a bread roll that was cheaper (marginally) than the one I’d bought because I couldn’t find it on the system 😂 a worker actually clocked it and told me there was a barcode on the bag it was in. I was so embarrassed.

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 22:45

The op isn't even totally sure ...it could still go out. Maybe it is her oversight in looking at her accounts or what card she used...who knows.

Nail123 · 07/12/2023 22:47

This happened to me at the races….but it was only 1 pint of cider!! I tapped and didn’t think it went through but the man on the till said it had and waved me on my way!

I was there again this weekend and the same had happened to the customer before me. The bar man tried to look for him but just cancelled off the drinks.

I was in Sainsburys the other day and a member of staff was telling a man off for walking away trying to sort his problem out at customer services. She said they get disciplined if anyone walks off without paying! This seems very unfair.

QS90 · 07/12/2023 22:50

tachycardigan · 07/12/2023 21:14

Of course you should offer to pay it. Why is this even a question?!

This is a really interesting thread. Clearly you are in the "the ends never justify the means" camp. But there are others who think that outcome is more important. That is, if the OP gets more enjoyment / benefit from the money, than the upset it causes Mr Tesco or any of his employees, then it's worth it. Similarly if a food bank got more benefit from the money than Tesco, it would be justified.

One of the big philosophical questions.

Watchkeys · 07/12/2023 22:51

Barbarianmumsy · 07/12/2023 22:31

@Watchkeys umm yes, I always believed if you don’t scan barcode it shows on system and barriers will beep. Am I twat, every time I self scan I get anxious I will forget something and be accused of stealing 😂

Is this a serious post? How would the barrier know which barcodes to look out for for each and every customer?

The barriers bleep if a security tag goes through them. The tills make sure by weighing each item that nothing goes into the packing area that hasn't gone through the till. The security guard and cameras watch to make sure that nobody is bypassing these checks but they can't watch every customer all the time. It's likely that at any given time when you're in a supermarket, you could nick something fairly substantial (especially from an area things don't normally get nicked from) and not be caught. Or even noticed.

Bar codes are a picture on a packet. Unless they're ones with security tags, they can't make anything bleep any more than the picture on the front of your cereal packet.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/12/2023 22:53

Depending on what the supermarket policy is they will have a picture saved on security and it may well be possible to trace the transaction. I work in a supermarket and all walk offs are recorded even if the customer tried paying contactless. It absolutely would be possible for me to trace the transaction and if by scan and go you mean the hand scanner as you walk around it would be even easier to trace.

waytooearlyforthis · 07/12/2023 22:53

All those agreeing she should go back and pay cause "she's not a thief" you so realise technically the crime of theft involves intention to permanently deprive, which it doesn't appear was the case here and I can't see how the shop would prove that if you went through the process of paying.

I wouldn't do anything but maybe upgrade regular charity donation especially at Christmas

EmmasDilemmas · 07/12/2023 22:54

Ring the shop and ask. I used to answer the store phone at a supermarket (a long time ago now) and when I got a similar call and asked the store manager for advice he said tell them thank you for being so honest and you are welcome to keep the shopping.