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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I accidentally stole an entire big shop

624 replies

Rayoffingsunshine · 07/12/2023 20:17

I spent about £95 on a big shop 3 weeks ago. I went through the scan and go. I had my two boys with me (2 and 3 months) and I paid using contactless. I didn't grab the receipt which I didn't notice until I got home and was annoyed because the supermarket had an offer for money off voucher if you spend so much that I had intended to grab but only realised I didn't have it when I got home.
I budget everything and wrote the shop on my budget app straight away so I noticed the discrepancy on my account within a few days. I thought it was just taking a little longer than normal to process but 3 weeks later there's still no record of it. I've checked every account I have including my husband's just in case I had his card though I'm certain it was just my day to day debit card. The only thing I can think is that the payment didn't process and I just didn't notice and walked straight out. But surely someone would have stopped me! I remember a friend telling me once, with a tiny shop, just a quick lunch on the go kind of shop, this happened to her once and she was stopped in the car park by security. I don't understand how this has happened. I wouldn't have been quick to leave because my 2 year old moves at a snails pace.

If I go and talk to customer service in the shop will they believe that is was a genuine mistake and just let me pay for it or will I get in trouble?

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 07/12/2023 22:54

BlazingJune · 07/12/2023 22:25

I’m not talking about the law I’m talking about integrity and morality

You're talking nonsense however way you try to explain yourself.

Laws are based on morality. Good v bad, honesty v lies, etc etc.

But you've clearly missed those life lessons.

Does everyone have the same morality then?

Have you ever driven faster than 70mph on a motorway? If so, where's your morality? Which life lessons did you miss?

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 22:56

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/12/2023 22:53

Depending on what the supermarket policy is they will have a picture saved on security and it may well be possible to trace the transaction. I work in a supermarket and all walk offs are recorded even if the customer tried paying contactless. It absolutely would be possible for me to trace the transaction and if by scan and go you mean the hand scanner as you walk around it would be even easier to trace.

And the police use face- scanning technology in CCTV now

User2856948 · 07/12/2023 22:56

It happened to me at the hairdressers, it didn't go through and I didn't notice, nor did the hairdressers, they rang me as they had my number when they realised and I paid over the phone. It's easy to miss.

waytooearlyforthis · 07/12/2023 22:57

BlazingJune · 07/12/2023 22:20

It's a genuine query as I see the two as morally different and would have assumed there was a legal difference too

There is no difference.

Premeditated theft is the same as accidental theft where the thief realises they have not paid and then avoids doing so.

Neither is right.

@BestBadger I think is right, I believe you need intention to permanently deprive at the time of the act for it to be theft in line with the legal definition

Badgerandfox227 · 07/12/2023 23:00

I think I’d have to attempt to pay for it, and have a record that I’d gone in to try to do so, just in case. I just wouldn’t want to be worrying about alternatives. Most likely you wouldn’t have to pay anything, but you’ll feel better. Then by all means donate to a food bank if you like.

megletthesecond · 07/12/2023 23:06

The shop won't just put money through the till without any goods. I'm sure even the manager wouldn't want the hassle for £90. You've got no proof of what food you took.

I'd donate to the food bank instead.

Jaxhog · 07/12/2023 23:10

Go back and pay it. You will feel a lot better if you've been honest.
You may also have been seen, and security will stop you next time you visit.

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 23:11

Let's say a shop accidentally overcharged a customer or took the payment twice or some such error in their favour....what would they do?

lucylulululu · 07/12/2023 23:11

@carddino This made me chuckle so much after a really bad day so thank you 😂❤️

LittleMissSunshiner · 07/12/2023 23:11

Forget about people saying 'pay it forward', this is ludicrous type talk.

If you want peace of mind you need to go in the store and discuss it with them and settle the account if they can identify what you're speaking about.

They may well have realised that there's been an issue but because your card didn't register a payment, they don't know who the person was, they could have photos and video images of you noted by security.

If you go in the store and speak to a manager and they acknowledge the situation but say that they can't figure out you owe them anything then you're getting something for free. That is the time when you can decide whether to 'pay something forward' or not. You can't pay forward based on theft, albeit unintentional, that's not how being a decent or spiritual human being works.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/12/2023 23:13

It's quite clear that a lot of these answers are from people who have no real idea of how a supermarket works. Not every supermarket would be the same but most definitely it is possible to trace the transaction and see exactly what the op scanned.

Togekiss · 07/12/2023 23:14

Lots of naive folk on this thread have no idea how easy it is to trace transactions based on a customer giving very little information. A rough time on a particular day would easily be enough info to find the transaction on CCTV with a combination of carpark CCTV and in store CCTV.

If you arrived and left on foot it would be slightly harder but certainly not impossible.

Sales that haven’t gone through have to be cancelled off by a manager and will be easily traceable (every sale has a transaction number) that shows up the exact items that were scanned and not paid for.

I would go in and try to pay for it, personally. It’s not worth police involvement and £95 isn’t exactly a chocolate bar and a drink you walked out with.

Smidge001 · 07/12/2023 23:16

@Rayoffingsunshine I did this in waitrose via scan and shop. At the end of the shop i did the usual with the price gun thing, then scanned my card and left. Had no idea payment hadn't gone through.

A few weeks later I did another shop but couldn't get the scan and shop machine to work. So did my shop the old fashioned way. No probs. Then another time tried scan and shop again, but it still wouldn't let me, so I went to the customer service desk, they scanned my card and said it was registered that I hadn't paid for a shop. I couldn't work it out - thought maybe I'd popped in once for a couple of things then maybe given up at the queses and left without them, had no idea really. - but the lady said no, it was a large shop, came to £x.. eventually it clicked what must have happened. I checked my account and sure enough no money had been taken. She was fine, we sorted it and she took off the black mark on my card and all has been well since. There was no suggestion of police or anything like that.

LittleMissSunshiner · 07/12/2023 23:16

megletthesecond · 07/12/2023 23:06

The shop won't just put money through the till without any goods. I'm sure even the manager wouldn't want the hassle for £90. You've got no proof of what food you took.

I'd donate to the food bank instead.

They would have very likely had an issue in the store at the time OP left. The check out would have been left with £95 of items checked out and unpaid. The check out manager would have had to come and clear the screen and there'd have most likely been a security camera review of what happened.

It's not as if no-one will have noticed is what I'm saying. So there will be a discrepancy of that money and they may well have written it off as stolen items but if the OP knows what day and time then she's well served to do the right thing and be honest. IMO Also god forbid you could get arrested at a later date for the shoplifting - they could have seen OP's car number plate or be waiting for the next time she goes in store.

Togekiss · 07/12/2023 23:16

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/12/2023 23:13

It's quite clear that a lot of these answers are from people who have no real idea of how a supermarket works. Not every supermarket would be the same but most definitely it is possible to trace the transaction and see exactly what the op scanned.

Exactly. You can literally view every single unpaid transaction on every single day that’s had to be cancelled off. And you can run these reports for months in the past as well.

Plus anyone who uses CCTV systems on a frequent basis can find what they’re looking for in no time as well. The bigger the supermarket, the better the system and an increase in cameras internally and externally.

ClematisBlue49 · 07/12/2023 23:18

Sad to see so many condoning theft... OP, go to the shop as soon as you can and let them know what's happened. Give to a charity if you want to, but that alone doesn't make it OK.

MonZb · 07/12/2023 23:19

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 21:55

Also the op only knows this happened because she's checked her bank statement. I never check mine so I wouldn't even know if this had happened to me.

Cool story. Hmm

Unusualactualname · 07/12/2023 23:28

Ibizabar · 07/12/2023 20:42

I wouldn't worry about it. I certainly wouldn't go back and pay for it and I don't believe anyone else would either.

I did, last week. I was so busy helping the person next to me whose stuff kept scanning twice, I forgot to pay and only remembered when I'd left the shop. I went back - couldn't've lived with myself if I hadn't.

misslooloo · 07/12/2023 23:33

I did something similar once!

Big shop in my local Morrisons, I mindlessly tapped my cash card while I was chatting on the phone. I was still chatting as I pushed my trolley through the front doors and became aware of some drama with the security and shop assistants running. “Oooooh” I thought, turning around eagerly to see who was in trouble.

Except that person was me.

I had the humiliation of having to stand with a security guard watching while I paid 😂

I’m not embarrassed to go back in because I know it was a genuine mistake but I sometimes wonder if I am being closely watched on CCTV.

It clearly happens a lot, OP. Try not to worry about it. If I hadn’t been ‘caught’ I doubt I would have realised to this day!

ClairDeLaLune · 07/12/2023 23:33

I once ordered some shopping to go to DM’s for the time we were due to arrive. We were late and the shopping had already arrived. There was loads of extra stuff, but DM wouldn’t have known, because it was me who did the order. I phoned them up as it was only about 15 minutes later, I thought the driver could come back. Apparently it was the last order of the day and he’d just given us everything left in the van! They said to keep it. Kids were made up, there were about 40 cans of coke! Shop didn’t care though. Their profits are massive.

Moveoverdarlin · 07/12/2023 23:39

Howling laughing at people talking about the police, legal ramifications,CCTV, WANTED signs, etc.

The CCTV will show her tapping her card and paying. It’s not showing her shoving bottles of gin down the front of her leggings. Their security team won’t go trawling back through footage from nearly a month ago for £95!!!

How many people log all their expenditures on a app? How many cross reference their spending with their bank statements to check transactions have gone through? Hardly anyone. OP most people wouldn’t even notice this has happened. Stop beating yourself up.

lolasmile · 07/12/2023 23:39

I usually pay on Google Pay and in my experience it seems it can be quite unreliable. There have been at least two times I've left the supermarket self service and walked out assuming all was fine, only to get home and realise the transaction didn't go through.

Supermarkets keep your receipt, so can trace which transactions have been declined. However they don't think anything of you ringing up to apologise and agree to come in and pay. In fact, the two times it's happened to me, they have been accommodating and commented on my "honesty" in ringing up to soer it out!

Just go back and pay.

Watchkeys · 07/12/2023 23:43

Moveoverdarlin · 07/12/2023 23:39

Howling laughing at people talking about the police, legal ramifications,CCTV, WANTED signs, etc.

The CCTV will show her tapping her card and paying. It’s not showing her shoving bottles of gin down the front of her leggings. Their security team won’t go trawling back through footage from nearly a month ago for £95!!!

How many people log all their expenditures on a app? How many cross reference their spending with their bank statements to check transactions have gone through? Hardly anyone. OP most people wouldn’t even notice this has happened. Stop beating yourself up.

Exactly. You have to think about whether it's worth their while to track OP down, put her through court, the prison fees, the execution fees...

It's probably better for them to drop it and keep OP's custom in the future. Or, perhaps just to say, when they next see her 'Did you realise you didn't actually pay when you came in on 7/12/23? We noticed on the camera...' at which point OP can say 'Really? I'll pay now, shall I?'

tachetastic · 07/12/2023 23:46

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 20:22

Why do you feel the need to pay it ?

?????

Because that's what you do in shops. The intention is not that you only pay if you're caught on the way out. You're expected to pay.

I totally understand OP's situation but I am amazed that you are questionning why she feels the need to pay. Why wouldn't she?

kissnm · 07/12/2023 23:52

You’re in a difficult predicament here.

I assume lots of shoplifting happens, so stores might not bother looking into low level things. But if they see a till for almost £100 still requiring payment, they might be more inclined to look into CCTV. Security staff may have noted your appearance/car registration, to recognise you the next time you enter.

So I think regardless of whether you pay or not, you’ll be followed around and looked at with suspicion when you return. It’s doubtful paying the funds will stop that as it’s an unusual situation and it’s been 3 weeks. Might have been different if you returned to shop immediately and negated need to investigate