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Original poster

To think we do girls a massive disservice?

133 replies

Sexnotgender · 07/12/2023 08:52

Just dropped off at primary school, the vast, vast majority of girls are in stupid little Mary Jane type shoes with ankle socks. No jumpers.

The boys are in sensible waterproof looking shoes, long trousers and jumpers.

I stood next to a young girl waiting to go in and she kept saying how cold she was. I felt so sorry for her.

OP posts:
DontBeAPrickDarren · 07/12/2023 08:55

How is that doing girls a disservice? It just sounds like daft parenting. Two girls here, both wear trousers and boots to school with a cardigan or jumper 🤷‍♀️

Combusting · 07/12/2023 08:55

My nearly 4 year old daughter went into nursery in her brother;s hand me down jeans, top, jumper, hat and a thick warm coat off Vinted.

At DS's junior school girls arrive in thick knit tights, or the same trousers as the boys, and school logo cardigan/jumper and the mandatory coat that the school makes a compulsory part of uniform (in addition to the coat that must be kept in their locker at all times at school).

orchardsquare · 07/12/2023 08:56

I don't know, at least girls have the option of skirts, tights and boots. I think this is better than trousers in the rain as it is easier to dry off, trousers stay soggy round the ankles.

miniaturepixieonacid · 07/12/2023 08:59

Was the opposite at the school I work in till recently - girls in thick tights and knee length skirts while boys had to wear shorts and socks.

Now both sexes can opt for trousers if they choose. Very few girls do but nearly all the shorts disappear for Winter.

Ploctopus · 07/12/2023 08:59

YANBU. I could rant for days about the ways in which so much clothing made for girls is flimsy, impractical, unsuitable for our climate and inappropriate for play, particularly when compared to clothing made for boys. It’s at every level - right down to pants for little girls having itchy lace round the waistband and legs because some weirdo had decided it’s more important for their pants to be pretty than comfortable.

I don’t have a daughter but if I did I would be much more likely to buy clothes made for boys. That isn’t the solution though - ideally we should move away from the whole concept of gendered children’s clothing and just have all of it be practical and comfortable.

Some brands do a good job of this already (Frugi, Little Green Radicals, Polarn O. Pyret) but they’re bloody expensive. If anyone has recommendations for any high street brands offering similar I’d love to hear them!

Nutellaonall · 07/12/2023 09:00

My boys are in shorts with short socks. My daughter is in a skirt with cycle shorts under and socks up to the knee. Sometimes she wears tights. So she is warmer.
But yeah agree about the shoes. She won’t wear “boy shoes”. She isn’t allowed boots. This year I bought the chuck loafer type ones to try and cover her feet but they kept slipping off. Eventually relented and got the Mary Jane ones as at least they stay on her feet.

MrTruckle · 07/12/2023 09:01

We always bought my daughter shoes from the ‘boys section’. She was happy and had warm dry feet. Some of the ‘girls shoes’ were ridiculous. She also wore trousers or warm tights.

AmazingDayz · 07/12/2023 09:01

Couldn’t help but notice a young girl at my children’s primary school in a short skirt (above knee) with no tights or leggings just ankle socks. Was raining that day but tbf she was the only one like that and did stand out.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 07/12/2023 09:01

DontBeAPrickDarren · 07/12/2023 08:55

How is that doing girls a disservice? It just sounds like daft parenting. Two girls here, both wear trousers and boots to school with a cardigan or jumper 🤷‍♀️

Because all the boys were running around having a whale of a time splashing in puddles in their sensible shoes while the girls stood freezing.

OP posts:
MintJulia · 07/12/2023 09:03

That's just bad parenting.

There is no reason girls can't wear the same type shoes to school as boys. Sweaters & blazers too. And most schools allow thick tights.

School uniform is inexpensive and widely available, and most schools have second-hand shops or exchanges.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 07/12/2023 09:07

Dd8 wears thick fleece lined leggings with black boots. She does wear dresses but only in summer as she gets cold. Cardigan on and thick winter coat with ear muffs, scarf and gloves too.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 07/12/2023 09:09

MintJulia · 07/12/2023 09:03

That's just bad parenting.

There is no reason girls can't wear the same type shoes to school as boys. Sweaters & blazers too. And most schools allow thick tights.

School uniform is inexpensive and widely available, and most schools have second-hand shops or exchanges.

Yes it is bad parenting, but of girls. That’s the point I’m making. The boy’s parents all managed to dress them properly.

OP posts:
terrywynne · 07/12/2023 09:09

It's not just daft parenting though is it? It's decades of messaging about what girls"should" wear which has been internalised by parents and passed on to their children. Compounded by companies (especially at the cheaper end) who offer impractical options so they get bought. And the girls don't want the boys options because internalised messaging. And the companies say that they are making what there is demand for but again the demand is there because that is what society tells us should be bought and it takes time to break that and create demand.

Sure, there are plenty of people on MN who think it's daft and who are doing their best to break down gendered notions of clothing but it is not necessarily reflective of people in the UK as a whole

And yes, OP, it is a massive disservice! And hopefully it will change but it is likely to take a while...

MigGirl · 07/12/2023 09:10

Yes girls shoes are ridiculous. But if most parents stopped buying them and bought from the boys shoes like some of us did then they wouldn't exist anymore. DD also had the option of trousers in primary and high school and always chose them over a skirt. She had one skirt in high school and I don't remember seeing her wear it.

So yes it's sad to see girls being cold, but blame the parents there are other options.

Drlate · 07/12/2023 09:10

Girls can wear trousers if they want and you’re not forced to get that style of shoe either. My DD’s wear brogues and trousers, have done for years.

CalistoNoSolo · 07/12/2023 09:10

Personally I think uniform should be unisex - trousers/shorts and sensible shoes. I remember the clarkes school shoes trip each year and the awful choice girls had - thin shoes, thin uppers, crap designs. The best shoes DD has were a pair of DM's which are a couple of years old and still going strong, despite doing a lot of miles. Bloody clarkes barely did a school year.

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 09:12

I got the rage when shopping recently for my DD. Virtually all the tops I was looking at including jumpers and hoodies were cropped. I actually think the manufacturers do it to save money and the know no one would buy or tolerate cropped tops for boys . Even the difference between adult men and women's clothing is huge. Womens stuff is so much more flimsy

Newgirls · 07/12/2023 09:12

Yes. Parents think they are doing the right thing and buying the frilly socks and thin shoes with bows on them, as they are widely available in supermarkets and shops. Retailers (and schools) should move towards black trainers for all kids. Thin leather shoes that are not waterproof belong back in the 20s.

Comedycook · 07/12/2023 09:14

There were a few mums at my dcs old primary school who insisted on dressing their dds in those ridiculous knee socks with the bows on them whatever the weather.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 07/12/2023 09:14

terrywynne · 07/12/2023 09:09

It's not just daft parenting though is it? It's decades of messaging about what girls"should" wear which has been internalised by parents and passed on to their children. Compounded by companies (especially at the cheaper end) who offer impractical options so they get bought. And the girls don't want the boys options because internalised messaging. And the companies say that they are making what there is demand for but again the demand is there because that is what society tells us should be bought and it takes time to break that and create demand.

Sure, there are plenty of people on MN who think it's daft and who are doing their best to break down gendered notions of clothing but it is not necessarily reflective of people in the UK as a whole

And yes, OP, it is a massive disservice! And hopefully it will change but it is likely to take a while...

Thank you, you articulated it much better than I did!

OP posts:
Umph · 07/12/2023 09:14

Lots of boys in DS’s reception class still wearing shorts. At least the girls in his class seem to have thick woolly tights!

ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving · 07/12/2023 09:15

It's actually ridiculously hard to find girls shoes that aren't daft strappy Mary Jane style. I tried buying my dd the same type of shoes as her brother and she made a massive fuss because she wanted the ones with flowers and sparkles on them etc. Finally found a sensible but still pretty pair at shuh and they broke about 5 seconds later, then when I went to replace them the line had been discontinued. Eventually tracked some similar ones down in next and so far they have held up, but they cost twice as much as her brothers. I don't really have the money for next, I buy most of their stuff from the supermarkets but these cheaper places only seem to sell summer school shoes for girls. So while I agree with you that those shoes aren't suitable, if you're a parent who has £20 rather than £40 to spend on shoes, that's probably all you'll be able to get. Basically, judge the shops not the parents.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 07/12/2023 09:16

All the girls around here are warmly dressed. Coats, boots, snoods, earmuffs, tights or leggings in winter.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 07/12/2023 09:16

ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving · 07/12/2023 09:15

It's actually ridiculously hard to find girls shoes that aren't daft strappy Mary Jane style. I tried buying my dd the same type of shoes as her brother and she made a massive fuss because she wanted the ones with flowers and sparkles on them etc. Finally found a sensible but still pretty pair at shuh and they broke about 5 seconds later, then when I went to replace them the line had been discontinued. Eventually tracked some similar ones down in next and so far they have held up, but they cost twice as much as her brothers. I don't really have the money for next, I buy most of their stuff from the supermarkets but these cheaper places only seem to sell summer school shoes for girls. So while I agree with you that those shoes aren't suitable, if you're a parent who has £20 rather than £40 to spend on shoes, that's probably all you'll be able to get. Basically, judge the shops not the parents.

I 100% judge the shops.

OP posts:
LakeFlyPie · 07/12/2023 09:17

CalistoNoSolo · 07/12/2023 09:10

Personally I think uniform should be unisex - trousers/shorts and sensible shoes. I remember the clarkes school shoes trip each year and the awful choice girls had - thin shoes, thin uppers, crap designs. The best shoes DD has were a pair of DM's which are a couple of years old and still going strong, despite doing a lot of miles. Bloody clarkes barely did a school year.

Completely agree that uniform should be unisex. Our primary school had a great tree house / climbing area and I always hated seeing the girls struggling with their flimsy shoes falling off and skirts flapping about exposing their underwear whilst the boys were jumping around in supportive lace up shoes and trousers or shorts. Some girls did wear shorts / trousers / lace ups but it was the minority. Now my boys are at high school, it's lace up shoes, trousers and rucksacks for boys and rolled up skirts belts/ knee high socks and handbags for most of the girls ☹️