Large age gap relationships are becoming more and more common in the UK and not just for celebrities/hollywood set

[millymog11]

As people have chosen to marry later and remarriage becomes more common, the age differences between couples have increased as well. In a Brown University study, it has been noted that the social structure of a country determines the age difference between spouses more than any other factor.

This weblink and the above link would suggest it is the case:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships#:~:text=As%20people%20have%20chosen%20to,more%20than%20any%20other%20factor.

This came to mind due to this news article

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12828481/Rufus-Sewell-engaged-Holiday-actor-56-proposes-actress-Vivian-Benitez-26-shares-romantic-snaps-social-media.html?spot_im_redirect_source=user-profile&spot_im_comment_id=sp_jhHPoiRK_12828481_c_2Z8KCbJz2XFHr76sW1bXt71m1VG_r_2ZAfMEENUoqarTZpHTXrMwk7aIK&spot_im_highlight_immediate=true

I read it and I thought

• this is not actually just in Hollywood, I know of so many men who (even if married or in a similar age relationship and even on a long term basis) would go for a much younger woman whatever the cost to him; and
• in the above case, I struggle to think he is predatory because his relationship history / failed marriages are so well published that she cannot say she doesn't know and still picks someone with that history/pattern of relationships. Does she see it as a "starter marriage" for her and does he know/care if she does?

So am I being unreasonable that large age gap relationships (admittedly not with an age gap quite as large as Rufus Sewell here, but still) are becoming more and more common and most men would go for one if they had a chance and eliminating other practical financial considerations for him.

I’m sure it’s not. It’s just this thing that rich, famous old men need seemingly never have old wives.

I bet Bruce Willis' wife has some regrets about her life choices. This sort of thing is often the reality where there are large age gaps.

OP you are an AI bot!
And so are the majority of the answers - how can no-one have noticed? The few genuine posters stand out as authentic a mile away.

I feel this is some kind of research project - look carefully, people! Read the posts out loud - who actually talks Iike this in a response?!?

They might not need them, but there is some evidence that women are much less likely to date/marry a person who is less financially successful than they are. I think the conclusion is they don't really want to.

The only man I know personally to have done this is on soft number 5.
She is oriental and wanted to live in the UK.
Going on experience I’m certain she will leave him once she has been granted British citizenship.

I hear about this regularly. But in my 60 years on this earth I do not know even 1 older man, in LTR or married to a young woman. Not amongst family, friends, acquaintances, or colleagues. Nobody on my street or in my vicinity.

All these articles are just pushing the dreams of men, implanting ideas. So that women will fall for it.

As a young woman I'd not have wanted to face a balding head and grey ballsack so I doubt young women are queuing up for the experience. Rich/celebrity men are the ones in with a chance. Dave across the road average bod average salary is just dreaming over these articles.

Peasnbeans ·
OP you are an AI bot!
And so are the majority of the answers - how can no-one have noticed? The few genuine posters stand out as authentic a mile away

You're right. I answered OP then scrolled through thread and it suddenly dawned on me🙄. I suppose all these answers will help somebody's research...

I only know of a big age gap where the women is older. A colleague has a 6 yr gap & she is struggling that her DH has retired & wants a quiet life whereas she is raring to go. Don’t men die younger too? I’d rather have a partner with me in later life.

Weird odd post. Anecdotally not seeing this myself. Vast majority of couples I know are with spouses broadly similar age guess there have always been outliers.

Why would you want a lifelong relationship with someone who will reach old age and likely. die significantly sooner than you? For short term relationships it isnt much pronlem, but it is healthier and more practical to be closer in age when looking for lifelong commitment. Women also live on average slightly longer than men so there's that to consider.

I think it's actually really sad that society lies so much to men, especially young men who don't know any better and will be more likely to fall for it. Societyly implicitly, or explicitly, tells them it's OK and normal to watch porn, when it often skews their perception of sex and relationships ship dynamics, and it many cases affects their ability to perform sexually. It also tells them men can have children whenever they like, and it's fine to wait until your 40s to start, but by then the quality of their sperms has declined and although they might be able to conceive, their children are much more likely yo have genetic defects due to the degradation of the sperm quality. And then they are more prone to illness in ageing and on average die earlier than women, meaning they might leave their families sooner than women.
If we told them the truth they'd be better able to make decisions better for themselves. But no, like many other societies we make special consideration of men's feelings and allow them their destructive delusions.

I remember reading an article about men who regretted not having had children, they avoided settling down in their 30’s and by their 40’s and 50’s a lot of women weren’t interested. Also remember reading that mens brains reach maturity much later than women’s. By the time some of them are actually interested in a long term stable relationship they are getting on a bit.

DH is 7 years older than me, he was a lot more mature than men my own age, competent, intelligent and stable (we met in my late 20’s) so I can completely understand why women sniff at men their own age sometimes. Most of the men I knew were basically still like teenagers. Having said that 10yrs plus would be the limit for me, I’d have started worrying about what the later years would look like. I do know one couple who have something like a 20yr age gap, they are very happy together and extremely well suited.

But y’know when you meet someone you don’t necessarily do the numbers in your head, you are looking at the person in front of you. I think it would be interesting to see what age ranges people select on OLD though.

@TempestTost

They might not need them, but there is some evidence that women are much less likely to date/marry a person who is less financially successful than they are. I think the conclusion is they don't really want to.

OK I see what you mean.

I certainly think marriage has become less and less relevant to women as they have acquired more money and status. If you have your own money/assets, there's not much point to marriage and marrying someone less wealthy than you is dangerous if you have money.

So possibly you would only bother marrying someone if they were significantly wealthier (and therefore probably older).

I never understand why some women have relationships with men who are much older than them.

Do they really fancy being a nurse maid and carer for their partner when they will still be relatively active and fit?

I think there is a misogynist element to this as well: you only have to look on dating site where completely average, not that attractive men in their 40s/50s think they are entitled to date women in their 20s.

It reinforce the idea that women are only valued for their looks and youth and that anyone over 35 is past it.

I also find it rather dodgy that some main try to date much younger women because they think they will be easier to 'control'.

I had an older father (there was about a 10 year age gap between my parents) and he was over 40 when I was born and that became a massive issue.

My father had really old fashioned views and it especially started to be an issue when I reached my teenage years as he had health issues and no interest or energy in being a father.

I think it is quite selfish for men in their 50s/60s to have kids when they no longer have the stamina or patience to deal with the demands of fatherhood and then to saddle someone in their 20s with potential care responsibilities for an elderly parent.

I just don't know!
What is it about these multimillionaire that attracts younger women?
I guess we'll never know.

What an unpleasant thing to say.

Why ? They are grown adults.

Some women will go for an older money for the money and stability.

Do they really fancy being a nurse maid and carer for their partner when they will still be relatively active and fit?

This such a horrible, ableist (and ageist, plenty of people remain fit and heathy well into old age) thing to say. You do know disability can affect anyone of any age?

There are many people who are in relationships where one is a carer for the other. Are our relationships somehow lesser than relationships between non-disabled people?

“Do they really fancy being a nurse maid and carer for their partner when they will still be relatively active and fit?”

My husband is younger than me, I’m his carer, we have a fab marriage and I couldn’t be happier.

Younger women often marry older men and have kids. Younger men don’t marry older women because they can’t have kids.

I think they plan to be long gone before the caring role has to start!

But older fathers are more likely to produce children with health conditions, even if the mother is young. There needs to be more awareness of this

Interesting, I'd say it's true of well educated women that I know, not sure about the less educated men!

I'd say it was just as common in the past among middle/upper classes, it was normal for men to do military service or get careers up and going before considering marriage but of course the bride needed to be young aka "pure" 10 years would have been completely the norm with bigger gaps far more common than today, plus there wasn't the ick factor then, parents preferred an older gentleman for their DD's as it meant security