Tell me about your teenager's stupid behaviour

[TeenagedTwit]

16yo
Wants a job. Apparently.
Weirdly, a job hasn't fluttered into his bedroom and landed on his lap so he is most perplexed.

Picked up an application form for him from a local supermarket.
Encourage him to get a pen (no easy feat) and sit down to complete application.

20 seconds later... "What's my name?"

And that was just the beginning. I swear a 4yo would make a better employee. I fear for our future.

Note from MNHQ - we've edited the title as we had a few reports about one of the terms used there. We're sure there was no intention to offend but it was clearly upsetting a few people and we didn't want the issue to derail the thread

Aged about 16/17 he had to send a letter. He asked about the envelope. He was told to write clearly and make sure there was space at at the tip for the stamp in the r/h corner and postmark.

He wrote the address in the top right hand corner of the envelope in a space the size of a stamp. He then got upset and arsy when I demonstrated how to do it. Evidently he hadn't learnt any of it at school.

He got even arsier when I asked if he had never looked at the letters that came through the letter box every week, some addresses to him.

I found it mind boggling. Not least because he had 11 A* GCSEs and was generally quite bright. He now has a doctorate and has published an academic book.

That is genuinely terrifying. Did the daughter at least "confess* to the nurse and psychiatry liaison?

My two sons did many of these! They are mid 20s now and still come out with some corkers: DS1 "I don't know how to cook" - err how about the meal prep you used to do before someone at work started nicking your food from the fridge and you got fed up - chilli, meatballs, chicken curry etc etc. He did a full roast dinner the other week and made some amazing yorkshire puds - I'd told him not to ask me how to make them as mine always fail spectacularly!

DS2 - very intellectual - got a 1st in his Maths Degree and a Distinction in his Data Science Masters. Has the common sense of a gnat - this was a recent conversation between us:
DS "lets go for a walk mum - its a lovely frosty evening"

Me: OK, (we set off down the drive) err why are you wearing slippers outside?
DS: oops I forgot (goes in to change comes out wearing gym trainers)
Me: Won't they be too slippery and aren't we going across wet grass?
DS: Oh yes - I will put my boots on. (set off again down the road)
Me: Why aren't you wearing gloves? (He has Reynauds)
DS: Oh I forgot - my hands won't be cold as I'm walking
Five minutes later when his fingers are blue
DS; Mum I wish I'd listened to you my hands are SO cold..

He's still very adorable so I rarely get cross with him 😍🤣🤣

When my DS1 (who is now 23) turned 16 he needed to phone the bank. The first security question was 'what is the first line of your address?' and he started panicking. We still giggle about it now.

Hw now works for a bank

My son ordered a mixed grill when we were in Spain last year along with my DH.. waiter asked how they'd like it cooked (steak) both reply medium rare. Sons tucking into his meal and remarks... Mmmmm rare chicken is actually really nice!

Oh, I'm going to come back here later.
I spend much of my life holding my tongue when inside I'm crying/yelling/utterly perplexed.

I had a phone call* asking me if we had any flour.

"You know that thing where you are in the kitchen, and I am in NORWAY!"

*Not from a teenage child. This was from my partner.

Really? Some of it is pretty funny.

This ones on you I'm afraid. Only ever ask questions that can be answered with a simple binary 'yes' or 'no'. However I know plenty of supposedly intelligent adults who will still manage to answer a completely different question to the one I asked.

One of DD's friends in University put her dinner in the oven and came back an hour later to find it still cold. She had no idea you actually had to turn the oven on. In her defence she had only ever used an Aga.

This thread is hilarious!!

I had my own flat,with my then fiance, and had to call my mum to ask her how to boil potatoes... I was 26.

The name thing on forms reminded me of when I worked at the Council and someone came in to ask for help to fill in a planning application form. Not an issue - there are some questions that can be confusing for someone not used to the system. So I gave this middle aged man the forms and said just ask if he was unsure about anything.
"Erm - question 1?"
"err - yes?"
"Name?"
"Yes...?"
"What do I put?"
"Erm - your name?"

He managed the complicated questions about drainage and access etc quite happily

Almondmum · Today 09:41

My son likes to answer either/or question with a yes or no.

My wife does that. "Shall I do potatoes or pasta?" Yes.

"Have you seen the big pan?" Yes. "OK, can you tell me where it is, please?" Yes.

GAAAHH!

You win 🥇

Perhaps not the intention, but I'm going to save this thread for whenever a bout of broodiness threatens to overcome my firm decision to not have children.

Genuinely shocked at the multiple people whose children have called the police / social services on then for petty shite.

When DS1 was 13 he'd been on a school trip, and we were picking him up from the school bus park quite late at night. He said, upon opening the car door " Mum, could you get my blazer washed and dried in time for school tomorrow?" I said that, no, we couldn't do that as we have no tumble dryer, as he well knows. He then disclosed that he'd put a tub of ice cream in his blazer pocket to "save for later" 3 hours previously.

I. Am. Glad. I. Am. Not. Alone!

Honestly!!!

Mine's ten, so not a teenager, but she just has to find things out the hard way. Last summer, she kept saying that she was going to get into the baby swing at the park and I kept telling her she'd get stuck and showed her a couple of videos of numpties being rescued from them by the Fire Brigade.

Of course, I got a call one day, after school. I took some tools down, just in case I couldn't lift her out; I had to undo two Allen bolts and push her through.

I was NOT pleased! And all her mates videoed her - no sympathy from me.

This reminds me of the time my eldest was about 16 and we'd gone to a 'all you can eat'

Her-i want some of the chicken
Me-well have some
Her-do I get the boneless one or the one with bones?
Me-its chicken legs soph,not breast
Her-no,that boneless one
Me-which boneless one?
Her-that one
Me-thats turkey,you don't like turkey
Her-i know,but that's boneless chicken,not turkey
Me-it says 'turkey' right there
Her-but it's not turkey,it's boneless chicken

(Chef tried telling her it was bloody turkey but she seemed to think he was taking my side in winding her up)

She got the 'boneless chicken'

'It's rank!it tastes just like turkey....'

This must be why there are YouTube tutorials on just about everything these days, however obvious (you would think).

I wonder what the easiest thing would be that you'd have to make a tutorial on, before nobody out there would ever feel the need to view it. Then again, you'd probably end up with a million open-mouthed MNers viewing it - watching in sheer disbelief as to why anybody would need to watch how to butter a slice of bread, turn on a light switch or push a wheelie bin to the end of your property on bin day!

Then again, online 'unboxings' are remarkably popular. It seems mad enough if it's a new iPhone or smart TV; but my niece actually once watched a video of somebody opening a tube of Pringles - with genuine interest!

My DS is studying aeronautical engineering, can take, off, fly and land an actual plane, and knows more about engines and aerodynamics than pretty much anyone I've ever met. I gave him some insoles to put in his shoes the other day and he was completely and utterly mystified.

This made me laugh out loud 😆

😱 This sounds like something from the 1950s.

Hilarious thread but some of it really is down to bad parenting.

Not allowing for special needs, (though my ND 11 year old could do all this) if your child doesn’t know the basics of how to cook, clean and call for emergency services it’s not funny and that’s on you.

I needed to get certain information from University students to pay their bursaries. In the email I very clearly stated in a list what was acceptable, then a list of things that were NOT acceptable. Very clearly, the 2 lists of items separated with headings, with a line below saying no acceptable items, no bursary.

Around 10% sent me items from the not acceptable list. Some of these students are doing pretty high level degrees too (engineering, medicine etc).