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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh asked if we could swap pyjama tops

102 replies

Furleasenavidad · 05/12/2023 20:40

Bought Dh, myself and Dd matching Christmas pjs (I know, I know)
All went to get dressed in them and get all cosy after work. DD’s age 5, mine a large and Dh XL-he’s an average sized guy, but quite tall and I thought baggy. I’m size 16 now and need to get some weight off.
Mine fitted ok, Dh came downstairs and says his top was a bit small (it wasn’t really) and could he swap with mine? I said why mine as mines a large and his is extra large? He said mine looked bigger and the womens tops are usually larger.
Aibu to feel a weird kind of offended by this or just being super sensitive because I hate mr weight and I’m tired of being fat?

OP posts:
Createausernametoday · 05/12/2023 23:20

This is a wind up , surely ?

Thegoodbadandugly · 05/12/2023 23:35

Non issue just let him try it on and see, oh how I wish some of us could have problems like this.

Victorialisa · 05/12/2023 23:36

I'm in the same boat, I need to get some wobble off 😂
It's super easy when you feel down about your weight to mistake what others are saying, I've been there and done that so many times.

I'm sure he didn't mean it as a dig at your weight, sounds like he doesn't understand sizing Haa!

I'd just let it go and try to enjoy the evening x

Hankunamatata · 05/12/2023 23:59

Why jump to worst conclusion?

I would think that he thinks it looks big on me so so might fot him better

user1492757084 · 06/12/2023 00:24

There seems no down side to swapping and letting him see for himself.
His is clearly not comfortable so ascertaining which size you should reorder is sensible - even if his request doesn't seem logical. No harm done.

Notamum12345577 · 06/12/2023 00:26

Furleasenavidad · 05/12/2023 20:40

Bought Dh, myself and Dd matching Christmas pjs (I know, I know)
All went to get dressed in them and get all cosy after work. DD’s age 5, mine a large and Dh XL-he’s an average sized guy, but quite tall and I thought baggy. I’m size 16 now and need to get some weight off.
Mine fitted ok, Dh came downstairs and says his top was a bit small (it wasn’t really) and could he swap with mine? I said why mine as mines a large and his is extra large? He said mine looked bigger and the womens tops are usually larger.
Aibu to feel a weird kind of offended by this or just being super sensitive because I hate mr weight and I’m tired of being fat?

Seems like he was saying that you would be fine with a smaller top, and in his eyes his was smaller than yours? Why is that offensive?

ChateauDuMont · 06/12/2023 00:27

lesdeluges · 05/12/2023 20:47

I thought for a moment that he wanted to cross dress.

I had a vision of Bernard Bresslaw in drag!

EyesSoBlue · 06/12/2023 00:29

The teeny tinies and their kids clothing. 🤣🤣

OP, he thought yours was bigger and so would be better for him and his was smaller and so better for you...because you’re smaller! So the opposite of what you’re thinking!

I think your unhappiness with your weight is making your paranoid.

KirstenBlest · 06/12/2023 08:01

@FractiousPangolin, That was what I thought of too. Pearl grey or blush pink.

KirstenBlest · 06/12/2023 08:06

@Punkkitty , I can think of 3. Normal-looking, naturally slender and frequently saying 'I'm so skinny' or 'I can't put on weight'. Tedious.

@EyesSoBlue , the age 15-16 top is about a size 14, so it's not really a teeny tiny boast.

Getthethrowonthesofa · 06/12/2023 08:16

Badgrief · 05/12/2023 23:03

He doesn't think they are the same size. He thinks the top which is too small for him will fit her.

Show quote history

That’s completely Illogical. She’s very clear it fitted ok on her, so not overly baggy. And she literally says he thought her top was bigger than his.

shes very clear, she was wearing a top that fit her just ok, and he said can I have yours, as your top looks bigger than mine. And then said he thinks women’s clothes are bigger than men’s.

im fairly sure the op is not daft. And she’s replicated what he said on here. He thinks she’s wearing a bigger top than his xl and wanted it. He thinks she was wearing am xxl and it fit “ok”

IntoAThousandPieces · 06/12/2023 09:17

the age 15-16 top is about a size 14, so it's not really a teeny tiny boast.

Not sure why the pp who is a 10/12 was surprised it was baggy on her and insisted the sizes are messed up then. 🤔 I’ve no idea about M&S
sizes but don’t be so naive, the teeny tinies desperately want to talk about wearing kids clothes. Every single thread they try to shoehorn it in, even if done badly. 🙄

KirstenBlest · 06/12/2023 10:10

@IntoAThousandPieces , why are you trying to derail the thread? Some women wear children's clothes because it is hard to find clothes and shoes that fit.

5128gap · 06/12/2023 10:15

He obviously thought your top looked big/loose with you in it, despite it not being the largest size. So if anything I'd see it as indicating that you look smaller than you think as you make a smaller top look large!

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 06/12/2023 10:21

He thinks yours is too big for you and his us too small for him so suggested a swap.
Why not just swap and see?

It's a lot of overthinking and offence for such a trival issue. If anything he is saying

Boomboom22 · 06/12/2023 16:59

I'm sorry so many people don't get it op! He called you bigger than him. It's not hard to grasp. He thinks all the clothes you wear are bigger because women's clothes are in his eyes, due to his belief he is smaller!

bananamangoes · 06/12/2023 18:54

YABU for buying matching PJs

Fedupwitheveryone · 06/12/2023 19:11

Depends OP if you have big boobs - if so he could be imagining all the space required for those (they are likely to feature highly in his thinking!)

NB I also clicked thinking this was a cross dressing thread

Kittycat37uk · 06/12/2023 19:13

Can't u each take your tops off and put them together on a flat surface to see which is bigger? Or am I just pointing pit the obvious?

MMAS · 06/12/2023 19:22

Not strictly true these days - woman's sizes are all over the place depending on where you shop and even M&S one can go from a 12 to an 18 depending on their tops and who made them. He was just being logical rather than being offensive in my opinion. Why are woman these days constantly looking for a reason to put men down.

Badgrief · 06/12/2023 20:06

I don't think teeny tiny people would wear M & S large teenage clothes. I used to sometimes wear their 15-16 yrs shirts because they were long enough for my arms (I'm 5'9" and was a size 12/14).

Badgrief · 06/12/2023 20:08

Boomboom22 · 06/12/2023 16:59

I'm sorry so many people don't get it op! He called you bigger than him. It's not hard to grasp. He thinks all the clothes you wear are bigger because women's clothes are in his eyes, due to his belief he is smaller!

So if he thinks he is smaller why would he want to wear the bigger (in his eyes) top that she had on?

Getthethrowonthesofa · 06/12/2023 20:33

Badgrief · 06/12/2023 20:08

So if he thinks he is smaller why would he want to wear the bigger (in his eyes) top that she had on?

Show quote history

Because his was too small. He thinks she bought herself a bigger size than she bought him, so he was complaining and wanted to give her the slightly tight one, he even said it he thought hers was larger than his,

ThisMama1 · 06/12/2023 20:39

I’ve just asked my husband what he thinks & he’s said ‘but aren’t women’s tops bigger to make room for boobs but shorter than men’s tops?’ So perhaps he had a similar thought? Or maybe both our men are just a bit thick 🤭🤭

exaltedwombat · 06/12/2023 21:23

Obviously no insult was intended. And obviously this is about you wanting to weigh a bit less....

Why am I wasting bytes on writing this? It's SO BLOODY OBVIOUS!

I hope you can achieve a weight that pleases you. Have a nice Christmas! And if he wants to get inside your pyjamas, isn't that good? :-)