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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is this mad behaviour on a train?

304 replies

capermum · 05/12/2023 20:38

So today I have a meeting the other side of the country today and I get an early train, guy in my seat when I arrive but shifts over for me (it’s a table of 4)
I’m window forward facing
he’s aisle forward facing

But THEN! The guy reaches down into a carrier bag on the floor and pulls out a large bowl which he places on top of his laptop, then reaches down again and retrieves a box of cornflakes that he tips into said massive bowl and then pulls out a big bottle of milk, pours it on the flakes and proceeds to munch away while watching iplayer though headphones like munch munch munch right in my effing ear, it’s not first class or anything so the seats are very close to each other.

I wouldn’t even sit next to my DH to eat cereal that close let alone a stranger!!!

After about 2 mins of this I interrupted his viewing and say “You have to let me out! I have to move while you eat, this is so antisocial and I can’t bear it”
“But I’m nearly finished” he says agog
“But I can’t bear to listen to another mouthful!”

So i do indeed leave while he finished and read my book further down the train where I can, in fact, still bloody hear him munch-munching away…

Then when it’s safe I return to my seat and get back to work

Oh yeah and when I’d arrived I get out my laptop and set it up to work, he reaches right across me an plugs into the socket that would have been closest to me, before I have a chance to, the passenger across from me notes this and offers me his socket with a knowing look, so is this further proof he’s a without doubt a total psycho?

I think in the end I made him as uncomfortable as he made me by calling him out, so I guess we are quits (for now)

It’s quite out of character for me to confront anyone ever, so tell me, is this totally antisocial or am I being over sensitive? and if I’m you think I’m being too soft then, please tell me what’s the worst outrageous antisocial behaviour you’ve witnessed on a train?

My colleague just told me she watched someone clipping their toenails once with those clippers that fling the nails every which way. So that’s probably worse

OP posts:
JamSandle · 05/12/2023 21:21

It's strange but a lot of people seem to see public transport as an extension of there living rooms.

ShiteRider · 05/12/2023 21:22

Londonrach1 · 05/12/2023 21:12

Tbh you sound more strange than him.

I’m so pleased you said this, I was beginning to think I must be losing my mind. I’d have just been jealous that I didn’t think to do it

Original poster
capermum · 05/12/2023 21:22

Catza · 05/12/2023 21:09

The weird bit is where you felt compelled to give him a lecture. A simple “excuse me” while changing a seat would have sufficed

Yes this is what I thought too, but wouldn’t it have been weirder to then come back to my seat?

OP posts:
ShiteRider · 05/12/2023 21:23

Cyclebabble · 05/12/2023 21:19

I had a particularly long commute for a while and I used to eat cornflakes on the train every day. I did not think it was anti-social TBH.

It’s not. It’s a really effective use of time (unless you sit next to a massive weirdo)

Original poster
capermum · 05/12/2023 21:23

YouveGotAFastCar · 05/12/2023 21:21

I watched someone file their feet on the way to London once. Just got on, shoes and socks off, and went at it with a metal file. There was a gross pile of foot dust in front of them and it was horrific.

Other people are just odd. I’ve just been forced to spend an hour and a half next to a woman who was getting increasingly drunk on cans of gin and tonic, talking to a man who didn’t want to talk to her, and asking other passengers questions, like why one woman couldn’t stand, and why a Hindu lady had “a spot” on her head. Then she started eating prawns. It still smells of them.

I’d take laptop man over that 😆 I don’t think it’s uncommon to eat cereal on trains, I see a lot of people do it on early morning trains. And a lot of people with procecco and small bottles on afternoon ones!

Edited

Yeah I think feet people are really odd right?

OP posts:
TortolaParadise · 05/12/2023 21:25

SmileyClare · 05/12/2023 21:09

Fellow passengers are quite annoying on public transport - they make noise, have conversations, children cry and tantrum, people snore, eat food. I’m fairly tolerant and resigned to ignoring it.
Eating breakfast is fairly acceptable in my view.

I definitely wouldn’t have stood up and declared “I can’t bear it!” over someone eating cereal. It takes about 5 minutes.
Unnecessary drama.

Take ear phones next time you travel!

Yes. This!

tachycardigan · 05/12/2023 21:25

CountryStore · 05/12/2023 20:43

I thought at first you were going to say he spilt milk all over you or something.
I don't think it's antisocial tbh. Maybe a bit annoying, though

He ate a LARGE BOWL of cereal with milk. On a TRAIN.

That is beyond batshit.

Original poster
capermum · 05/12/2023 21:25

But a whole box of cereal, a big box and not newly opened… it was a quirk that was hard to ignore I think I’d have just taken a portion

i know I’m over thinking it, was a lighthearted post really - but I wasn’t the only one who found it odd the passenger opposite literally dropped their jaw in amazement

OP posts:
holjam · 05/12/2023 21:26

Annoying and weird yes.
Anti social no.

disappearingfish · 05/12/2023 21:26

I can top that OP (trigger warning for misophones).

I sat opposite someone who had soggy weetabix swimming in warm milk in a huge Tupperware container. He opened it and poured cornflakes on top so it was... sluuuurp crunch crunch smack sluuurp crunch splat (when it fell off the spoon back into the container).

It was 10 years ago and I'm still not over it.

SmileyClare · 05/12/2023 21:28

capermum · 05/12/2023 21:17

an ironic overstatement makes something insignificant sound like a bigger deal than it is to highlight how minor it is. Statements like these are figurative language and are the opposite of their literal meaning.

Show quote history

No that’s not using irony correctly. Fine to say He must be a psycho! if you’re deliberately exaggerating for comic effect.

I definitely think you need to relax a bit more on train journeys and try not to let things annoy you so much.

5 minutes of crunching noise is bearable in the grand scale of things. If he spilt milk on his laptop that’s his problem.

Your blood pressure will thank you 😉

pictoosh · 05/12/2023 21:29

"He ate a LARGE BOWL of cereal with milk. On a TRAIN.

That is beyond batshit."

You seem easily shocked.

Original poster
capermum · 05/12/2023 21:30

disappearingfish · 05/12/2023 21:26

I can top that OP (trigger warning for misophones).

I sat opposite someone who had soggy weetabix swimming in warm milk in a huge Tupperware container. He opened it and poured cornflakes on top so it was... sluuuurp crunch crunch smack sluuurp crunch splat (when it fell off the spoon back into the container).

It was 10 years ago and I'm still not over it.

Wow that’s staggering I can only send you strength and now also my empathy. Big love to yoy

OP posts:
TheCatfordCat · 05/12/2023 21:30

YABU because it's breakfast time and is a very important meal. YANBU because anything involving a BOWL, MILK AND NOISY FOODSTUFFS are frankly unnecessary on a train. Why not buy all day day breakfast bap from the station for ease of consumption and minimal slurping?

thisisasurvivor · 05/12/2023 21:32

TicTacNicNak · 05/12/2023 20:43

I suffer from misophonia and can't stand the sound of people eating, especially crunching, so I wouldn't have been able to tolerate this either. Very rude of him to eat something so noisy in such close quarters to someone else.

I had to leave Hamnet after 40 minutes last week
The guy beside me munching so loudly

I thought I was going to lose the plot !!!!!

Original poster
capermum · 05/12/2023 21:32

SmileyClare · 05/12/2023 21:28

No that’s not using irony correctly. Fine to say He must be a psycho! if you’re deliberately exaggerating for comic effect.

I definitely think you need to relax a bit more on train journeys and try not to let things annoy you so much.

5 minutes of crunching noise is bearable in the grand scale of things. If he spilt milk on his laptop that’s his problem.

Your blood pressure will thank you 😉

Show quote history

Ah yes but it was deliberately exaggerating

OP posts:
Original poster
capermum · 05/12/2023 21:33

thisisasurvivor · 05/12/2023 21:32

I had to leave Hamnet after 40 minutes last week
The guy beside me munching so loudly

I thought I was going to lose the plot !!!!!

Show quote history

He owes you a refund

OP posts:
fishfingersandchipsagain · 05/12/2023 21:33

The fact that there are so many people saying this is OK is actually part of the problem. No bloody standards.

A small container with a regular amount of a non-noisy, non-smelly food, eaten with some decorum and manners. Fine. An entire box of cereal, slurped and crunched noisily. Not fine.

Its about basic manners and respect for the people around you.

tachycardigan · 05/12/2023 21:35

pictoosh · 05/12/2023 21:29

"He ate a LARGE BOWL of cereal with milk. On a TRAIN.

That is beyond batshit."

You seem easily shocked.

You seem really cool and au fait with life.

PonyinShorts · 05/12/2023 21:36

Oh yeah and when I’d arrived I get out my laptop and set it up to work, he reaches right across me an plugs into the socket that would have been closest to me, before I have a chance to, the passenger across from me notes this and offers me his socket with a knowing look, so is this further proof he’s a without doubt a total psycho?

Well, I utterly detest the sound of people tapping away at laptop keyboards. I literally change train carriages whenever there is a person working on their laptop. The worst are the ones with a mouse.. Click click click. So annoying.

I could (just about) have put up with the cereal man but not with you working on your laptop. Never considered that you might piss off people too, did you?

Hellohah · 05/12/2023 21:36

Londonrach1 · 05/12/2023 21:12

Tbh you sound more strange than him.

I agree.

I'm taking my bowl and cereal on the train tomorrow, such time saving, money saving genius is what that is.

I think I might love him.

Original poster
capermum · 05/12/2023 21:37

fishfingersandchipsagain · 05/12/2023 21:33

The fact that there are so many people saying this is OK is actually part of the problem. No bloody standards.

A small container with a regular amount of a non-noisy, non-smelly food, eaten with some decorum and manners. Fine. An entire box of cereal, slurped and crunched noisily. Not fine.

Its about basic manners and respect for the people around you.

Phew thank you ! I totally am with you on this sarnies and a drink all the way.

OP posts:
fetchacloth · 05/12/2023 21:38

That's just gross behaviour 😕
No excuses, he just needs to get up earlier and allow time for breakfast.

Maddy70 · 05/12/2023 21:41

They literally sell bowls of cornflakes to go in rail way station. And in the buffet cars I cam only assume your not a frequent traveller

Your reaction is the odd thing here

Original poster
capermum · 05/12/2023 21:44

But the bowl was like 25cm in diameter.

my DH points out this could have been for stability on the train though. It was just so large!

OP posts:
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