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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if anyone EVER says 'How do you do?' in this day and age?

141 replies

FestiveFruitloop · 05/12/2023 20:23

Just curious as I've spotted a few people elsewhere on the web recently - all from outside the UK as far as I can tell - confidently asserting that in Britain we say 'How do you do?' when we meet a new person and that the correct response is to parrot 'How do you do?' back at them.

I'm in my mid-fifties and the words 'How do you do?' have never once crossed my lips (unless followed by something like 'long division' or 'without chocolate', that is.) I find it bemusing that people still think this is a British 'thing', but am I missing something (perhaps due to my class background)? Do people actually still say 'How do you do?' in some circles?

YABU = I've said it
YANBU = I've never said it

OP posts:
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 05/12/2023 21:09

I'm polite and mc and I never say it. I'm not sure I ever have tbh. In a formal-ish setting I'd say 'Lovely to meet you' or something. Or just 'Hello'!

HangingOver · 05/12/2023 21:10

I say it all the time. I said it today on a work call.

Plmnki · 05/12/2023 21:19

It’s a class marker:

upper and upwardly middle - how do you do
middle - pleased to meet you
working class - alright or other equiv regional phrase (now then … etc?)

above applies to England, I have no knowledge of what is used in Scotland / wales / Ireland, mind you.

I am guessing other very class conscious countries (France?) have similar divisions.

WimpoleHat · 05/12/2023 21:24

I say it. A lot of the “great to meet you” stuff sounds a bit trite and OTT to my ears and “hello” is a bit childish. It’s a good “standard” thing to say when introduced to someone.

ButterCupPie · 05/12/2023 21:25

I say it. Born 1976

Doggymummar · 05/12/2023 21:26

What do you do? Is common round here

lisavee · 05/12/2023 21:27

I just say, 'hiya, ye alright?'

lisavee · 05/12/2023 21:28

If at work I'll say, 'hi, nice to meet you'

piscofrisco · 05/12/2023 21:30

I say it. But I was a care home manager for years and it was common with the people I was looking after. It's dying out a bit now which is shame as I like it

keffie12 · 05/12/2023 21:31

It used to be common with the upper class, landed gentry, and colonial times, hence why people in foreign lands think it's what we say

DesperatePanda · 05/12/2023 21:32

Well, a student in my class (SEN) says it a few times a day… We shake hands too!

ACynicalDad · 05/12/2023 21:32

Haven't for a few years, I should start again.

ThinWomansBrain · 05/12/2023 21:33

No - strangers get "Nice to meet you", People I know "how are you"

I was laughing at my chiropractor last week, always greets me with a really enthusiastic "Hey, How're you doing"
If I'm calling him and about to pay £100+ to make me feel better, I feel pretty shit.

EarringsandLipstick · 05/12/2023 21:33

ButterCupPie · 05/12/2023 21:25

I say it. Born 1976

I had to think about this. I'm also born in 1976, and I live in Ireland - I certainly say it, only at the point of first introduction though.

Aydel · 05/12/2023 21:44

I work in quite a formal place. I would always say “How do you do” to eg a cabinet minister or a Lord or Lady or a foreign Ambassador. But it’s something you say only when first meeting someone. If I see them again through work I would say “Minister/Ambassador/Lord Bloggs, how very nice to see you again.”

With family, it’s “Awright?” And “Be lucky” when you leave.

ButterCupPie · 05/12/2023 22:02

Aydel · 05/12/2023 21:44

I work in quite a formal place. I would always say “How do you do” to eg a cabinet minister or a Lord or Lady or a foreign Ambassador. But it’s something you say only when first meeting someone. If I see them again through work I would say “Minister/Ambassador/Lord Bloggs, how very nice to see you again.”

With family, it’s “Awright?” And “Be lucky” when you leave.

Agreed. I only say it when I am being introduced to someone formally or semi-formally for the first time, and the correct response is to say it back. Anything else is a gaffe.

TheCatfordCat · 05/12/2023 22:03

I'm "how are you today?" Most people round here say, "Orrigh'?" I don't think I've heard HDYD in years.

Dweetfidilove · 05/12/2023 22:28

keffie12 · 05/12/2023 21:31

It used to be common with the upper class, landed gentry, and colonial times, hence why people in foreign lands think it's what we say

True.

I remember saying this to a colleague at work and she got so excited, because no one had asked ‘how do you do’ for a long time.

Everyone sat there wondering what the hell we were on about as she replied with a ‘how do you do’, on and on…

Suffice to say, we are both foreign, though from different sides of the world. In our schools they made a big song and dance about teaching us the Queen’s English 😗, so London was a culture shock when we realised people don’t actually go around speaking like that.

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 05/12/2023 22:32

In Happy Valley, the characters are always saying "Howdoo?" To each other in a mordant fashion. I totally loved it and wish I could carry it off but am a southern pansy so probably can't.

Abitofalark · 06/12/2023 01:23

Yes, I say it, especially in certain settings, such as when I've been involved in hosting important people at a luncheon* *(!) It's better than saying Hi, you guys...or gushing how pleased I am to meet them.

shivawn · 06/12/2023 01:25

My 2 year old says it all the time, I'd love to know where he picked it up from because we never use it.

TheShellBeach · 06/12/2023 01:28

I always say it when introduced to someone.

Lysianthus · 06/12/2023 01:34

I was introduced to someone this evening and I immediately said How do you do. I really wouldn't have known what else to say. I'm mid fifties, middle class if that matters, and it was entirely appropriate.

keffie12 · 06/12/2023 01:40

Dweetfidilove · 05/12/2023 22:28

True.

I remember saying this to a colleague at work and she got so excited, because no one had asked ‘how do you do’ for a long time.

Everyone sat there wondering what the hell we were on about as she replied with a ‘how do you do’, on and on…

Suffice to say, we are both foreign, though from different sides of the world. In our schools they made a big song and dance about teaching us the Queen’s English 😗, so London was a culture shock when we realised people don’t actually go around speaking like that.

Show quote history

Oh, bless you, and thank you for sharing your lovely story with us. It really made me smile

PralinaChocs · 06/12/2023 01:40

I said 'pleasure to make your acquaintance' once which surprised everyone including me. Don't know where that came from - intense nerves I think!

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