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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think I've just been followed

79 replies

OdeToBarney · 05/12/2023 17:28

Apologies for posting in AIBU, but I need a quick answer.

I think I've just been followed ( I don't have time to go into specifics right now, but the person kept following me even after two changes of direction).

What do I do - do I report it? I can give a vague description, but I'm not sure how useful it will be.

Promise I am usually a sensible person, but I'm feeling shaken right now.

I am safe now, so please don't worry!

OP posts:
Greenshake · 05/12/2023 17:29

Well, the Police via 101/online would be the best option if this is what you think has happened.

SourCaroline · 05/12/2023 17:29

Did you go home? Or did you go into a public place? Do you live alone?

im. It surprised you’re shaken @OdeToBarney

SourCaroline · 05/12/2023 17:30

I mean did you let him see where you lived?😟

GirrlCrush · 05/12/2023 17:30

So how did it end?

SnappyDragony · 05/12/2023 17:31

Lock all your windows and doors. Call and speak to a friend and tell them what has happened and ask if you can text then a couple times this eve so they know you're safe. It probably isn't anything sinister but nothing wrong with taking a few extra precautions. I would have thought calling the police a bit overkill for now. Do you live alone?

Iam4eels · 05/12/2023 17:31

Report it to the police via 101 or online form. It's likely nothing will come of it as a standalone incident but it could be helpful especially if there are any future incidents. If you have a residents group maybe put it on there too so others are aware.

SourCaroline · 05/12/2023 17:32

You need to give us more context OP. For example, came out of a tube station ..walked along the street .. realised etc ?

Original poster
OdeToBarney · 05/12/2023 17:32

@SourCaroline no, to a public place. A train station, which he then double backed to follow me into, and then left. Maybe when he saw there were other people on the platform (as I knew there would be).

I'll be getting a taxi to my door later so no chance of bumping into him or anyone. I don't live alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
OdeToBarney · 05/12/2023 17:33

@GirrlCrush I went into the train station and got on a train. He left the station without getting on a train. I will be getting a taxi home from another station tonight.

OP posts:
dressedforcomfort · 05/12/2023 17:35

Some good advice here.

Also, if this is a regular journey you make, think about mixing up your walking routes / time of journey so there's no predictable pattern.

Also recommend looking at the Susie Lamplugh Trust website which has a ton of good personal safety advice.

SourCaroline · 05/12/2023 17:35

Phew well there’s a couple of sighs of relief. I was going to say predators are by nature opportunistic. It’s unlikely you’ll see him again. Unfortunately it means he will be looking out for some other victim tonight.

Toomuchcawfee · 05/12/2023 17:35

I’d report, you can do it online. If there is an attack on you or someone else at a later date, it helps them build a picture and collate cctv etc.

FrostyFlo · 05/12/2023 17:35

Walking or in the car ?
If in the car , it is suggested you drive to your local police station ( although I know they are few and far between these days )
Failing that , a drive through and then phone the police.

ManateeFair · 05/12/2023 17:37

Glad you're safe now. I assume you're at home? Are you concerned that this person knows where you live?

It's not an emergency matter, but you can still report it by calling 101. They're unlikely to be able to do anything (assuming that no crime has actually been committed and that this person didn't threaten you or touch you?) but it's worth reporting purely because if you were being followed by someone unknown to you, and this wasn't just a weird coincidence, it's possible they've done the same to other women.

Recently, someone walked behind me from a public transport stop to my house and was weirdly close to me the entire time. I actually don't think they were 'following' me as such - I think they were just a bit of a clueless oddball with no ability to grasp social cues - but it was bloody unnerving, and I'm usually not all nervous/worried about this type of thing. So I sympathise and I hope you're OK.

JL690 · 05/12/2023 17:38

Report it to the police. Train station likely has cctv they can look at.

SourCaroline · 05/12/2023 17:38

As @Toomuchcawfee says, give the police a description because it will help build a picture.

DO NOT change your mind about what you do later (taxi, switch stations).

ManateeFair · 05/12/2023 17:39

SourCaroline · 05/12/2023 17:35

Phew well there’s a couple of sighs of relief. I was going to say predators are by nature opportunistic. It’s unlikely you’ll see him again. Unfortunately it means he will be looking out for some other victim tonight.

I think this ghoulishness is not necessarily helpful.

SgtBilko · 05/12/2023 17:40

I would report it in case he does it to someone else. It’s happened to me and it is a horrible experience but good to hear you are safe and are taking precautions.

Original poster
OdeToBarney · 05/12/2023 17:41

@FrostyFlo walking

@dressedforcomfort I don't take this route at set times but I live at the end of a lane and this is the only way in or out, regardless of walking or driving. Well technically there are two roads down, but I was followed from the point they meet at the bottom of the hill, joining the main road.

OP posts:
Startingagainandagain · 05/12/2023 17:43

Please report it. The guy will hopefully be caught on the train station CCTV.

It is likely he will do the same to other women or has done it before in the area and you might help the police catch him.

Sounds like he realised you had noticed him acting suspiciously and he decided to back off...

Must have been so scary for you.

Original poster
OdeToBarney · 05/12/2023 17:43

ManateeFair · 05/12/2023 17:39

I think this ghoulishness is not necessarily helpful.

Show quote history

Tbh it's not something I hadn't already thought of.

OP posts:
SourCaroline · 05/12/2023 17:44

@ManateeFair hardly ghoulish. Practical and realistic I’m afraid.

SourCaroline · 05/12/2023 17:45

Do you honestly think such a predator is going home to have a nice cup of tea now?

sorrynotathome · 05/12/2023 17:46

SourCaroline · 05/12/2023 17:45

Do you honestly think such a predator is going home to have a nice cup of tea now?

There is no evidence that this person was a predator of any kind. You are whipping up a frenzy over someone's fear of violence.

HeavenCANTwait · 05/12/2023 17:46

Definitely report, there is CCTV at stations. If anything happens to anyone in the area YOUR intelligence will come up and they can then get the station footage

So sorry Flowers

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