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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My eldest and Parents-in-law’s Golden Wedding anniversary

77 replies

OurNev · 04/12/2023 13:02

This is my first post. I can’t really trust friends not to be indulgent to me. It’s a topic that had been done to death on here.

Yesterday younger son who is 13 was given a lift and forgot his phone. It kept pinging and it was a cousins’ Whatsapp Group; I didn’t know he even had Whatsapp. The chat was discussing a surprise trip they were going to take their grandparents on to celebrate their Golden wedding. They are all sworn to secrecy.
My eldest son who is my husband’s stepson is not included.
I am just so heartbroken. He is 18 .

I haven’t mentioned that I have seen the chat. I don’t know whether to tell my husband.

OP posts:
Solocup · 23/01/2024 01:17

Well it’s not really the grandparents is it? It’s the cousins. I can see why you’re upset. I’d expect the 13 year old to have said, shall I add my brother to the chat? Also a bit odd adult cousins arranging a trip and not expecting to run it by parents

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 23/01/2024 01:23

Enko · 04/12/2023 13:20

As the "non granddaughter" here I would have been desperately upset if my step cousins had organised something for my step grandparents and not invited me.

They were my grandparents too. Thankfully my step cousins wouldn't consider that and know I'm as much family as they were. So no@Dishwashersaurous. Its not an off course he won't be invited. Many families woild do and I 100% get why op is upset.

Blood doesn't create families. Love does.

I agree. At a neighbour's funeral his "non granddaughter" spoke and told us about the trips she took with him, and the fun they had. She was very much treated as an actual granddaughter, and was older than OPs son when her mother married her step-father. Not everyone treats step-children or grandchildren unkindly, and I think the cousins in this instance are just being mean. Why didn't your younger son mention this to his cousins?

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