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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents not to have child’s birthday party on Xmas Eve

375 replies

I88l · 04/12/2023 11:33

One of my daughter’s school friends has a birthday party on Xmas Eve.
i think the idea of inviting school kids to a birthday party on Xmas eve is pretty odd, because Xmas Eve should be spent with family.

OP posts:
Igneococcus · 04/12/2023 13:33

ds birthday is on the 23rd, it's annoying enough to have a birthday that close to Christmas and he had about two birthday parties in his almost 16 years because nobody is ever around or we were away visiting family overseas. It sucks, it really does. Just let that child have a party for god's sake. I'd go out of my way to make sure my children would attend if invited.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/12/2023 13:34

DelurkingAJ · 04/12/2023 11:38

My parents have a wildly successful Xmas Eve party every year…most people seem to welcome the chance to relax.

We used to do this - it was a party for our friends, and for the dses’ friends - I found that it helped them let out the excitement of Christmas, and it tired them out so they went to sleep quicker that night.

No-one ever said we were doing anything wrong by hosting the party, and people seemed to enjoy it.

momonpurpose · 04/12/2023 13:35

They can have the party when they want you can choose not to go

kitsuneghost · 04/12/2023 13:35

Hobnobswantshernameback · 04/12/2023 13:33

I mean what was Mary thinking
How attention and seeking and needy of her
She should have been having family time not lazing around in a stable waiting for some wise men to pop around

yes. she thought have thought twice about when she had her baby

caringcarer · 04/12/2023 13:35

gooddayruby · 04/12/2023 11:35

Her birthday might be on Xmas eve. You don't have to go..

This. If that's her birthday, then that's her birthday. A lot of parents would be glad to drop their DC off for a couple of hours so they could wrap presents without DC about instead of having to wait until they are in bed.

Ktime · 04/12/2023 13:36

To expect parents not to have child’s birthday party on Xmas Eve

Yes, YABU. Why would you ‘expect’ anything? No one is forcing you to attend presumably.

DrMarshaFieldstone · 04/12/2023 13:36

I think you'll find many parents would be absolutely thrilled with a drop-off party invitation and the consequent prospect of free childcare for a few hours on Christmas Eve.

takealettermsjones · 04/12/2023 13:36

PianPianPiano · 04/12/2023 13:04

So like literally any other situation where your child can't attend a party because their parents have plans already? Hardly 'putting it on you' to have to explain to your child that they can't attend because they already have plans.

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Turn your sarcasm detector up 😉

Sugarfree23 · 04/12/2023 13:37

Couldyounot · 04/12/2023 12:44

He wasn't due until 8 January, impatient sod 🤣🤣🤣

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Oh I hope Santa was organised that year!

I was for mine mainly because I was worried DC1 would question why Santa didn't bring the baby anything. And I didn't know if it was boy or girl!

housethatbuiltme · 04/12/2023 13:39

Beautiful3 · 04/12/2023 13:05

This happened to me, but on new years day! I didn't fancy driving 24 miles hung over, for a kids birthday party! Apparently it was cancelled because no one could make it. I did think it wad a little silly notnto have moved it, to the Saturday after.

Funny my DS new year birthdays have always had a fine turn out, out of a class of 30 he had 22 one year (plus half a dozen siblings) and he never had less than 8.

Lots of parents don't just view new year as a piss up. I fact I have only ever once been drunk on new year and that was when I was 18, I'm usually looking after my kids like every other day of the year.

Catslovenip · 04/12/2023 13:42

With shops bombarding us with Christmas spirit from November, 6 weeks into that I’d be very grateful for a child’s party to break it all up.

Medusaismyhero · 04/12/2023 13:43

We've had DSs party on Christmas Eve before. He has a holiday birthday (on one of the bank holidays over Christmas) and Christmas Eve happened to be a Saturday that year so what would you suggest we do instead? Everyone who was invited turned up.

MargotBamborough · 04/12/2023 13:45

If your child can go to the party, I'm sure the birthday girl would be very appreciative. It must be hard having your birthday overshadowed by Christmas every year.

Sugarfree23 · 04/12/2023 13:47

kernowpicklepie · 04/12/2023 13:13

My DS was born Christmas Day last year 🤦🏻‍♀️ I've read a few people recommend doing a half birthday in June when friends could attend so this is our plan when he is at school.

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Other people I know with Christmas Day birthdays, have 'Christmas Day' until dinner and do birthday cake with candles etc and presents after dinner.

My LO is Christmas Eve trying for a party this year the week before. I try to avoid loads of gifts on 24th as it seems crazy to have loads of new toys then to build that excitement again for Santa coming.

Half my family have Christmas Birthdays so very loathed to move his completely from December.

WinterNamechange · 04/12/2023 13:47

Surely it would only be for a couple of hours during the day though? Quite a nice idea to drop off the kids for a little while and do some last minute errands.

whiteswan87 · 04/12/2023 13:47

Personally I wouldn't be thrilled about having to attend a child's Birthday party on Christmas Eve unless it was early on in the day. Drop off would be preferable as it would give us a chance to get last minute things done. A late afternoon or tea time party wouldn't work for us as like many others we do have have our own traditions (and yes they are family oriented). I don't think I'd throw a birthday party on Christmas Eve myself because I would assume that people had their own plans that day and would be worried that nobody would be able to come. From the sounds of it on here though parents would love a children's Christmas Eve Birthday party to attend!

ZenNudist · 04/12/2023 13:48

I'd snap their arm off and offload my child whilst I did some baking.

Viviennemary · 04/12/2023 13:49

I agree. Christmas eve is a family time.

Scottishskifun · 04/12/2023 13:52

If that's when their birthday is then no they aren't being unreasonable but they probably accept that a percentage won't be able to attend. Same with a child who's birthday is in the middle of the school holidays.

We have the opposite problem of DS1 birthday towards the end of January and nobody declining as its something to do in the cold and dark month when everyone is skint. He got a fair number of regifted things last year from his pals xmas gifts which worked in his favour as he got much better presents 😂

Onceuponaheartache · 04/12/2023 13:57

Scottishskifun · 04/12/2023 13:52

If that's when their birthday is then no they aren't being unreasonable but they probably accept that a percentage won't be able to attend. Same with a child who's birthday is in the middle of the school holidays.

We have the opposite problem of DS1 birthday towards the end of January and nobody declining as its something to do in the cold and dark month when everyone is skint. He got a fair number of regifted things last year from his pals xmas gifts which worked in his favour as he got much better presents 😂

Absolutely this.

Dd is mid August born, we gave up trying to have parties because people are on holiday. We do special days out now which give her far more memories.

If the child birthday is Christmas eve/day/boxing day then they are completely reasonable to hold the party then (or whenever suits). As with weddings it is an invite not a sumons but I do think you are being a bit unkind.

SomersetBrie · 04/12/2023 13:57

Viviennemary · 04/12/2023 13:49

I agree. Christmas eve is a family time.

My DH usually works Christmas Eve, lots of people do. Shops are open, cinemas and softplays are open, pubs, restaurants are open, emergency services are certainly open. Not everyone spends the day with family.
I'd be happy for DC to attend a party in the morning, keeps the excitement at a manageable level.
Christmas Eve evening is a different kettle of fish.

Chipsandbeansandcheese · 04/12/2023 14:12

My DC would be most upset about missing a party over family time.

TeeBee · 04/12/2023 14:14

I'd use it as a chance to get my veggies peeled.

takealettermsjones · 04/12/2023 14:31

TeeBee · 04/12/2023 14:14

I'd use it as a chance to get my veggies peeled.

This says more about my humour than anything about your wording, but I definitely read this as a euphemism 😂

astarsheis · 04/12/2023 14:31

I assume you live or come from a country (like me) where they celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve?
If you're in the UK Christmas Eve is a pretty normal day especially when it falls on a week day.
If you don't want your child to go then don't...as easy as that.