To be raging about this school scheme?

[Promdiddlyontomtom]

Hi, name changed as potentially very outing.

Have found out recently that my daughter's school has introduced a 'Points for Prom' incentive newest low.

The school get good results.

The demographic has some challenges and therefore they have a VERY strict regime and the kids are controlled with strict policies and sanctions (and a little praise- the balance is well out). The kids get detention if they don't get 100% in HW for example.

This is, IMO, the lowest they have gone.

Their newest bright idea- the young people have to earn 'behaviour points' to be in with a chance to get a ticket for their Y11 prom.

Apparently there's not enough spaces for all pupils (they only have spaces for 2/3 of the pupils... so find a bigger venue then!)

This is not an incentive and should not be used as a reward for 'good behaviour'.

Surely this is just a control tactic. A punishment for not toeing the line.

AIBU to think that all teens should get the opportunity to go to the end of school celebration? It draws the line after 12 years of compulsory education, a stressful period of formal exams, and friendships going in different directions (there's no sixth form). It marks the end of an era. Why should they be told they cannot go? Why shouldn't they be able to mark the end of years of education - for some this may have been a struggle all the way through- with their friends. There'll be no closure.

For the record, I've no concerns that my daughter will be excluded. I just think it's an awful idea.

What do you think?

When did schools start organising prom? What had it got to do with the school? 30 years ago I had an end of GCSE’s party and end of a-levels party which I guess could now be called a prom but we organised it ourselves, sold tickets etc. the school had zero involvement whatsoever.

I find it weird that there are even ‘venues’ for Y11 proms. It definitely feels like it should be a fancy disco in the school hall (which is what usually happens in American film and tv too).

I’m not really sure why it needs to be a dinner dance type thing with a proper venue.

@stomachameleon a lot of schools do base any end of year rewards on attendance levels.
Unfortunately for children with disabilities/ongoing illnesses/regular medical appointments their attendance levels are low and they do miss out on rewards because of it.
It is a terrible concept.
Thankfully not all schools do that but some definitely do.

Wow the lack of empathy. Yes perhaps the poor girls DEAD MOTHER should have organised an alternative prom. Imagine if your workplace organised a huge social event then excluded you because you'd been hospitalised then bereaved....if you wouldn't do it to an adult you shouldn't do it to a child.

Are you in the US? If so, I don't really understand how a UK-based website could help or validate your concerns.
Not entirely sure what a "prom" is. I know about the Promenade Concerts that happen in summer in London.
If you mean an end of term dance or disco, I would give it a miss. Boring, hot, sweaty and not that much fun for anyone.

I know many students who do not have supportive parents, and have alot of issues in the home, which mean they will never get the 100% homework, and therefore would not be able to go to the prom. Kids are kids too, this system doesn't allow for himan frailties or hormones in play. I actually think it is deplorable. It sounds like an absolutely awful school to be honest. How cruel.

When did schools start organising prom? What had it got to do with the school?

I've been a teacher for nearly 30 years and have taught in quite a lot of schools. I've never worked in one where the students organised the prom/leavers' do independently from the school. Normally the head students and 6th form commitee do a lot of the organising, but it's still through school.

@FelicityFlops most schools in the UK have been calling the end of school disco/party a "prom" for years now 🙄

I've worked in schools for over 20 years. My guess is, is there are actually enough tickets for all students who are likely to want to go. However teachers have used the 'limited places' line as a bit of a carrot to get students to 'buy in' to the scheme. It happens in plenty of schools, under different guises to get Y11 to work hard in the lead up to their exams. And once they've started exams there isn't much Y11 care about, apart from being allowed to go to prom, so if behaviour is poor is usually one of the few punishments schools can use.

I find it weird that there are even ‘venues’ for Y11 proms. It definitely feels like it should be a fancy disco in the school hall (which is what usually happens in American film and tv too).

I’m not really sure why it needs to be a dinner dance type thing with a proper venue.

dear god these type of posts are so predictable. I’m old and I had a y11 prom and a yr 13 disco.

this has been normal and mainstream in the UK for over 20 years. Stop with the faux confusion.

Proms weren’t a thing in my day, it was known as a ‘leavers do’. The behaviour in my year was so bad we didn’t get one. Didn’t matter that it was only a few who had really bad behaviour, no one got anything. That was 1996, at least some kids in your daughter’s year will get a chance to go!

DCs school has a student committee who organise prom themselves. They have a couple of teachers on the periphery of the organising and pretty much every teacher attends. The most recent one was an absolutely brilliant event and the teachers actually enjoyed it. Just as an antidote to all the misery of this thread 😉

Join the PTA and volunteer to do all next year's organising, OP. Then you can set your own rules about which students attend.

Until then you have no basis to moan about people giving up their free time to do something nice for your daughter.

The fact that there is not enough space for all is terrible. The most deprived are simply going to miss out. I can understand them having general and personal attendance targets/behaviour expectations to earn a ticket but it should definitely be open to all.

You could undermine them and have a parent or student arranged prom instead?

Did I read the OP right and the kids get detention if they don’t get 100% on their homework. This is absolutely shocking!!! Surely if a child can’t do their homework this is a failure of the teacher.

My DD has ASD and other additional needs. She is only in y5 but I do worry about things like this. She can't help meltdowns when stressed and dysregulated (y'know when there are exams looming) and homework often sends her into a worrying self-hating anxiety spiral. She doesn't need the additional pressure of missing out on a rite of passage and saying goodbye to her friends.

And what if more than 2/3 pass their rules, they change the goal posts?

Parents don't organise proms round here, is that how it's done where you are?

I would be more outraged if a group of parents were able to set rules about who attends an event.
And I don't think that because volunteers organise something that you should just put up with it if you feel it is unfair. OP was not worried about her own DD in this case.

This isn’t unusual. My school has always had such measures in place for the Leavers’ celebration. It often depends on how strictly enforced it is by the Head of Year. Last year we had a pupil who had been caught bullying, had told a number of teachers to F off including me and had broken a toilet!

The staff are giving up their time so it’s fair enough they have some standards of behaviour expectations.

There’s always the option to organise your own alternative.

😂😂😂😂😂
Or they can’t be bothered!

There should be the possibility for everyone to go, but I’m fine with them putting the bar for behaviour leading to being excluded from the event at what others would probably consider a harsh level. These aren’t small children, so long as expectations are spelled out clearly from the beginning of the year and it’s applied fairly, of course bad behaviour should mean people can’t go.

That’s very harsh and will create lots of unrest and anxiety

Disagree if a venue has been booked that can't accommodate year group. Fully agree with students not being allowed.to go due to poor behaviour. Persistent disruption in lessons has a massive impact on students who do want to learn and do well- drugs, vapes, fighting and verbally/physically assaulting staff also shouldn't be rewarded with prom access. Prom isn't a right it's a privilege. Nearly all schools run a leavers assembly as well as a prom so it isn't like any student need go without some form of celebration of the end of school.

I would talk to parents and seriously look at organising an alternative prom for all kids to go to.

But if all kids behave themselves they still can’t all go regardless - this isn’t about behaviour it’s about numbers.

I think this is horrific and some parts of it was why I home educated my children. Though that’s not for the faint hearted. My ND chime couldn’t never of coped with that.