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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My soul aches for England

232 replies

Supertatofortea · 03/12/2023 09:56

I live in another European country

Seeing all the snowy posts and the variety of fun Christmas things to do has made me pine for it more 😢

OP posts:
bombastix · 04/12/2023 16:08

WhatwasthestoryinBalamory · 04/12/2023 08:14

I don't think English people are proud of their identity, which leaves a vacuum for people like Tommy Robinson

Oh come on - just about every other country in Europe has a stronger far right movement than the UK - including the supposedly tolerant Nordics.

The English have a very strong cultural identity and are incredibly inclusive and tolerant.

Yes thank you. I like not being a bunch of flag wavers. England has much to be proud of. We don't need to start yelling about it.

BadPennyReturns · 04/12/2023 17:15

It's quintessentially English to moan about the blahdy weather but I like the shorter winter days and then the long summer evenings. I'd hate to live somewhere that was hot 365 days of the year - wasn't there a song years ago by The Beautiful South about how can you like a place if it never even rains 😀

celticprincess · 04/12/2023 17:56

Well the torrential rain and flooding today that’s wiped all the snow away wouldn’t have you pining half as much. The gridlocked roads are worse at this time of year.

Zimunya · 04/12/2023 17:59

Supertatofortea · 03/12/2023 09:59

@Lex345 Yes, but does it reflect actual, real life for the majority?
For example, the post on here of what people are doing today just sounds so lovely

Like most of social media, people tend to post nice things. Whilst I’m sure there are those doing nice things, as you can see from the majority of posts on here, most of us are working, battling cold / rain / ice / snow, and trying to work out how to keep the family warm and fed without breaking the budget. I’m not saying your life is necessarily better, or indeed that it would be worse in the UK - just saying that often people post good news (but that doesn’t mean they only have good news).

Duchydutch · 04/12/2023 18:11

I lived overseas for many years and I missed all four of our English seasons so now I enjoy them for what they are - nature’s wonderful cycle.

Riapia · 04/12/2023 18:27

Oh dear OP, this is AIBU.
Any views expressed on here may not necessarily be those of the people that are posting them.

MMUmum · 04/12/2023 18:38

Come to my town, your heart would ache for different reasons, it's grey, drab and dreary even with Christmas tree and decs, I love Christmas and have done most of my shopping online because town centre is so depressing. The snow is lovely to look at but causes such problems getting about, I'd gladly do without it.

Snowflakeslayer · 04/12/2023 18:48

I love it here, wouldn’t live anywhere else, I love to travel, but love it here more. Many people forget what we have, and we live in an era of negativity of course. I don’t listen to it, and enjoy it. Life is short.

keffie12 · 04/12/2023 19:45

Supertatofortea · 03/12/2023 09:59

@Lex345 Yes, but does it reflect actual, real life for the majority?
For example, the post on here of what people are doing today just sounds so lovely

It's an extremely divided country since the B word. We have a populist government that we can't get rid of for another year.

The poverty here is off the scale. Foodbanks and the like are the norm here and for working people.

The Tories in name only have turned George Orewwll 1984 into a reality. There are 67 million people in this country. You see a tiny snapshot of people whose lives are OK on here.

You might be seeing some nice pictures or writings, but it's not the reality. That's a snapshot. The U.K. is washed up. It will take decades for the country to be sorted out.

Keep pineing from where you are is my advice

Umbrella15 · 04/12/2023 20:32

I live in England, and all we have had is very heavy rain.

MissingMoominMamma · 04/12/2023 20:41

CalistoNoSolo · 03/12/2023 10:02

My soul aches for England (and the rest of the UK) too, but for very different reasons.

Yes, mine too 😔.

Queenofthesilverdollar · 04/12/2023 21:15

Me too

tachycardigan · 04/12/2023 21:18

I thought this thread was going to be by a far-righter blaming immigrants for the situation in England.

Londonrach1 · 04/12/2023 21:19

Looked stunning...ice on cobwebs, crisp and beautiful...loved it ..then it started to rain...saying that it's why everything so green... however it's a lot of rain

Original poster
Supertatofortea · 04/12/2023 21:30

@Ahwhatthehell Where are you? Can you not return?

OP posts:
Original poster
Supertatofortea · 04/12/2023 21:30

@SeaGlassTreasure Where are you?

OP posts:
Mummadeze · 04/12/2023 21:53

I am sitting by a radiator in a three layers and am still freezing so am not in love with England at this time of year. We are trying to do some nice Christmassy things, but my mentally ill DD is struggling so I have a sense of trepidation about everything these days. I remember yearning for England however when I lived abroad so I totally get how you are feeling. It is hard to shake off. Hope you have a nice Christmas wherever you are.

feelingalittlehorse · 04/12/2023 22:06

I mean, the snow has gone now. It’s been replaced by very cold, miserable rain.

But at least the North West is consistent. I’ll give it that.

fuckssaaaaake · 04/12/2023 22:47

My bit of north London is especially nice since autumn hit. I wouldn't be anywhere else. The hard life that's being experienced by many of us at the mo is bearable for me because I love where I live

VanityDiesHard · 04/12/2023 22:50

keffie12 · 04/12/2023 19:45

It's an extremely divided country since the B word. We have a populist government that we can't get rid of for another year.

The poverty here is off the scale. Foodbanks and the like are the norm here and for working people.

The Tories in name only have turned George Orewwll 1984 into a reality. There are 67 million people in this country. You see a tiny snapshot of people whose lives are OK on here.

You might be seeing some nice pictures or writings, but it's not the reality. That's a snapshot. The U.K. is washed up. It will take decades for the country to be sorted out.

Keep pineing from where you are is my advice

Show quote history

I'm sorry but this post is nonsense. It depends on where you live, but to say that 'poverty is off the scale' is simply not true for the UK as a whole. I agree that there is work to be done, but I get so tired of people talking as if we are a banana republic. We are one of the best countries in the world to live in.

GoingOffOnATangent · 04/12/2023 22:52

I'm in Cumbria. We spent Sunday sledging on the hill behind our house. It was brill.

Badlylitdescent · 04/12/2023 23:01

TerribleWoman · 03/12/2023 10:24

The worst thing about middle class England is that we cannot see, despite the issues, how incredibly lucky and privileged we are to be living here.

It's a country that isn't too hot or too cold. It isn't too wet or too dry. It isn't dangerous; we aren't going to be washed away by a tsunami or have our houses shaken to oblivion by an earthquake. No volcano will spew lava over our cities. We can walk in the countryside alone without a bear or lion stalking us. We can put shoes on without a scorpion check and don't have to panic that any spider in the dark corners of the kitchen cupboard is likely to kill us.

Our government is a bit shit of course, but we have options to change that; and it's a bit shit as opposed to despotic or psychotic. Anyone coming on to draw a parallel between the Tories and right wing dictatorships in South America, don't go there. They are not the same.

We get healthcare free at point of use, and yes it's hard to get to see a GP but no one will go bankrupt because they got cancer, like in USA, or watch helplessly as their child dies from diarrhea for want of clean drinking water and dehydration sachets like in rural sub Saharan Africa.

We are some of the luckiest people on the planet in the grand scheme of things, and yet it's de rigeur to do our country down and moan continually. I don't understand why.

Well could it be that the positive things you quite rightly mention in your post apply also to many countries in Western Europe, where, in addition, healthcare is excellent and you can see a doctor on the same or next day, public transport systems work to the minute and are properly integrated and affordable, as is childcare and social care, and university education is free?

Clafoutie · 04/12/2023 23:19

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 03/12/2023 11:05

I kind of agree. Our government is more than a bit shit though, and we do need to be careful that we don’t accidentally sleepwalk into a nightmare for the most vulnerable in the country because say, north korea is worse.

I think there is a danger of that happening (eg Rwanda plan, taking tents away from the homeless, mentally ill people actually starving to death on benefits). We must absolutely get rid of them at the next election. I am not saying the opposition will wave a magic wand and things will be marvellous, but I am 100% sure that the tories will only get worse if the country votes them in after allowing them to OPENLY treat the entire country with utter contempt over the last few years.

Show quote history

I completely agree. This government is so much more concerning than ‘ just a bit shit’ We need to wake up to some of the ideology that is trying to take hold there.

keffie12 · 04/12/2023 23:30

VanityDiesHard · 04/12/2023 22:50

I'm sorry but this post is nonsense. It depends on where you live, but to say that 'poverty is off the scale' is simply not true for the UK as a whole. I agree that there is work to be done, but I get so tired of people talking as if we are a banana republic. We are one of the best countries in the world to live in.

Show quote history

In your opinion. If you did the work I do, you would say otherwise. You may be comfortable off and not see the other side as I do. This country was before 2016.

Before you say move out of it, then I would if it was possible. The majority of people say the same. You need to see what I do daily. I live in what is classed as a nice area.

When you see people such as nurses coming through foodbanks and various help, you might think differently

antikkiti · 05/12/2023 00:27

Same here. I have been living in south west France for seven years and it still doesn't feel like 'home'. It was my DH who wanted to move here and I went along with it thinking it would be an adventure. We have an old farmhouse in a very rural location which I know might sound idyllic to some, but I would go back to England tomorrow if I could. Unfortunately, I think we have burned our bridges. The property market in rural France is very different from the UK and houses for sale here can stay on the market for years so selling up and moving back home would be difficult. My heart aches for my country every day.