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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My soul aches for England

232 replies

Supertatofortea · 03/12/2023 09:56

I live in another European country

Seeing all the snowy posts and the variety of fun Christmas things to do has made me pine for it more 😢

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 03/12/2023 13:36

I like the cold, wrap up, get timberlands on
obviously the bad weather increase ED presentation eg falls, respiratory issues and limits spontaneity for many and they need to take care
For most people with no vulnerabilities winter is manageable

bloodyfreezinghere · 03/12/2023 13:43

I like fog, grey, dark and, despite my user name, actually really like cold, frosty covered blue sky days. I even like the rain as long as I don't have to be out in it for too long.

And I don't like being hot.

The UK suits me!

Can you come back to the UK, OP?

CVVW · 03/12/2023 13:45

AhBiscuits · 03/12/2023 10:15

It's a lovely time of year.
Being a miserable fucker is a typical British / Mumsnet thing.

It is a lovely of year. I've just put my decorations up and cooking a roast dinner for my parents. Pantomime yesterday.

HelloClouds · 03/12/2023 13:47

I can totally relate to what you are saying OP. I lived in a southern European country for many years and Christmas was the time when I missed home most. So happy to be back now!

bloodyfreezinghere · 03/12/2023 13:53

whereaw · 03/12/2023 12:01

As someone who was not born in England, it is a wonderful, charming, unique, inspiring, historic, and cultural place to live and it makes me very proud. But of course the done thing by the Brits (and even immigrants) is to slag it off, and ignore all the monumental and great things the English people past and present have done, or how lucky we are to live in a free and tolerant secular society that cares not only for its own people but others too. There are opportunities and chances for everyone here in a way that is just not true in many parts of the world, it is not perfect but humanity is not perfect and so no country or government ever will be. But on the grand scale of things, we have it pretty good!

I agree with this.

Looking at the conflicts in the world, and having recently spoken to a friend whose friends have been murdered in her home country for refusing to accept bribes to be corrupt in their jobs, and where the murderers will never be brought to justice due to corruption in the police service, I am massively grateful to live in a country that is safe and where we have a functioning police service and legal system.

Having also worked with people who are refugees and emigrants from other countries, I have heard their appreciation at the levels of support, support often not available in their home country, that was made available to them, to enable them to get qualifications, experience and get into work.

We are still a fair and tolerant society, and there is much to appreciate about living here.

I can complain about what is not working as it should here as much as the next person, but its important to remember that there is much that is good too.

Mistletoewench · 03/12/2023 13:56

Isthisblocked · 03/12/2023 12:54

Your soul should ache for England …… so many discontented people failing to realise how lucky they are. And I am not rich….. I live in the north east of England in a small house, but there is a fire in my hearth and on my stove, lentil and vegetable soup, bubbling away to have with good bread and even better cheese when I return from a walk in the snow. We have many freedoms and opportunities in this great country….. there are many wonderful people from my very ordinary neighbours to artists and scientists of world renown. I am just an ordinary English woman and I know how lucky we are

So true, I feel so grateful sometimes x

Livelovebehappy · 03/12/2023 14:00

There are lots of fun things to do this time of year OP, and so a lot of what you see is reflective of what’s happening now. Lovely Xmas markets dotted around. Lovely lit up houses and some lovely activities going on for the children. Xmas shopping with the carols playing in the background. Nativity plays. Sledging currently where we are. I’ve spent Xmas in other countries in the past, but none are anywhere near as lovely as the UK. IMO. I like the build up better than the day itself.

Livelovebehappy · 03/12/2023 14:03

Eleganz · 03/12/2023 13:02

One snow day doesn't make up for the fact that it is increasingly expensive and difficult to live in these pleasant pastures green (particularly if your more local to the dark satanic mills).

I'd suggest sitting down and watching the Boris Johnson circus at the COVID inquiry. It'll be sure to cure even the most serious case of home sickness.

Really? The Boris Covid thing isn’t enough to take my thoughts off Xmas. And tbh is the least of the bad news around atm. If you’re looking for dismal depressing news, you’ll find it.

TerfTalking · 03/12/2023 14:05

I wouldn’t live anywhere else. Been for a long walk in the snowy woods with DSs dog, going out for a Christmas tree in next half hour. Will come back to a lovely fire and doggy bag leftovers from last nights restaurant curry and will eat it in front of the TV with two cats.

love your post @Isthisblocked which is exactly how I feel.

Livelovebehappy · 03/12/2023 14:07

Ramalangadingdong · 03/12/2023 12:53

How do you know why they hate this time of year? Maybe it reminds them of loved ones they can no longer share it with; perhaps they are alone and lonely; perhaps it is the anniversary of a traumatic event. There is usually a reason people don’t like this holiday and it is not usually or only because they are, as you so elegantly put it, “miserable fuckers”.

Show quote history

But you can still appreciate its magical for others. My father died on Xmas day 10 years ago. So it’s hard, but it doesn’t stop us understanding that just because it’s difficult for some, that that doesnt mean it has to be miserable for everyone.

WestwardHo1 · 03/12/2023 14:24

LadyBird1973 · 03/12/2023 13:30

There's a lot wrong with this country for sure but I think many Brits underestimate how important that feeling of home and being in our own culture is to some of us. We find it hard to define what English culture is sometimes, because it's do heavily influenced by our history but it is a real thing and some of us feel deeply homesick when away from it.
Theres a thing in this country of automatically respecting everyone else's cultural identity and having no tolerance for our own. Hence all the sniffy posts saying there's nothing to miss about England!

A lot of English do for sure. Not so much Welsh and Scottish

EasternStandard · 03/12/2023 14:26

Isthisblocked · 03/12/2023 12:54

Your soul should ache for England …… so many discontented people failing to realise how lucky they are. And I am not rich….. I live in the north east of England in a small house, but there is a fire in my hearth and on my stove, lentil and vegetable soup, bubbling away to have with good bread and even better cheese when I return from a walk in the snow. We have many freedoms and opportunities in this great country….. there are many wonderful people from my very ordinary neighbours to artists and scientists of world renown. I am just an ordinary English woman and I know how lucky we are

Lovely Smile

DdraigGoch · 03/12/2023 14:33

Finlesswonder · 03/12/2023 10:11

I moved back to UK a few months ago and it's great.

The UK has always been down on itself, most of the chronic whiners can't quite bring themselves to try somewhere else...

Oh god yes. As another poster said, the received wisdom on Mumsnet is that anything the UK does is The Worst. They appear to have a very rose-tinted view of what life is like overseas. A given country might do some things better, but they might also do other things worse. The UK isn't an outlier.

x2boys · 03/12/2023 14:44

Spottywombat · 03/12/2023 13:31

I seem to have lost how to quote pp but the person saying it's great as we have the NHS hasn't visited a hospital with an acute issue recently.

They might well see their loved one suffer/die in an ambulance or hours in the doorway of the hospital, followed by on a trolley, so whilst you might not go bankrupt with the NHS, you may well be traumatised...some whinging is justified.

Nobody is saying the NHS is great it has many problems however the fact it is free at the point of contact can only be a good thing and actually I can't fault how my son was treated when he wss critically ill.in February,he collapsed at home in severe DKA ( we had no idea e had diabetes ) the ambulance arrived in minutes and we are fortunate we only live about a mile away from our nearest hospital ,e was rushed straight through to resus and once stabilised he was in critical care
He is now insulin dependent ,which he gets free
In places like America where it isn't free you get people worrying about they will afford it
That doesn't mean I'm not aware of the many faults in the NHS however .

sixteenfurryfeet · 03/12/2023 14:51

I get you OP.

Yes, it can be cold, wet, miserable and depressing, but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else!

ToWhitToWhoo · 03/12/2023 14:55

whereaw · 03/12/2023 12:01

As someone who was not born in England, it is a wonderful, charming, unique, inspiring, historic, and cultural place to live and it makes me very proud. But of course the done thing by the Brits (and even immigrants) is to slag it off, and ignore all the monumental and great things the English people past and present have done, or how lucky we are to live in a free and tolerant secular society that cares not only for its own people but others too. There are opportunities and chances for everyone here in a way that is just not true in many parts of the world, it is not perfect but humanity is not perfect and so no country or government ever will be. But on the grand scale of things, we have it pretty good!

I agree. I love England. Although I am a born-and-bred British citizen, I am also a dual citizen of another country, and have had potential work opportunities in another, and have actively chosen to remain here. Nevertheless, I do feel that it could be even better if we had a more competent and compassionate government (and yes, I realize that many places are much worse even from that point of view).

Desecratedcoconut · 03/12/2023 14:56

Fortunately my life in England looks nothing like the misery Olympics to be seen on MN. I love it here, especially at this time of year - moreso with a snowy backdrop. My ds has spent the morning building a snowman with his friends in the park. My other ds is busy doing rehearsals for the school panto - his drama teacher works like a dog and the students thrive on his enthusiasm. I have a chronic illness the costs relating to which may have sunk us in another country. And I have a good family, nice neighbours, the rhythm of daily life is peaceful and friendly.

ToWhitToWhoo · 03/12/2023 15:05

stepintochristmas1 · 03/12/2023 13:05

My soul aches for the homeless , for the heat or eat and for the elderly and disabled who are stuck inside for fear of a fall . There is the reality .

Yes. I am in your third category, so that snow and icy paths and pavements imprison me. I am no doubt U, but when people rhapsodize about snow and wish for a 'white Christmas' , I feel as though they are gloating over my being dragged back into lockdown!

It would be even worse to be in your second and third categories at the same time- as is the case for many elderly people- and of course, the homeless are the worst off.

However, we are better off in this respect than many other countries: many countries have much grimmer and snowier winters; and many that don't, have horrible heatwaves in the summer, which isn't much better.

DisquietintheRanks · 03/12/2023 15:08

CalistoNoSolo · 03/12/2023 10:02

My soul aches for England (and the rest of the UK) too, but for very different reasons.

Amen

Zone2NorthLondon · 03/12/2023 15:13

Good to see posters aerated about years of underfunding & systemic lack of support . Do write to your MP express your displeasure. NHS gets by on staff goodwill, the unpaid extra hours,the willingness to tolerate extreme working conditions.

ilovesooty · 03/12/2023 15:16

It's fucking horrible here at the moment. If I could teleport myself to a Mediterranean setting I would.

Snow and ice can do one.

Chinhairsoftheworldunite · 03/12/2023 15:20

Put the kettle on @Isthisblocked 🙂 We’re all on our way round ( you can’t keep all that lovely cheese to yourself!)

Angrycat2768 · 03/12/2023 15:20

WestwardHo1 · 03/12/2023 14:24

A lot of English do for sure. Not so much Welsh and Scottish

Show quote history

I agree with this. The Welsh, Irish, Scottish and most of the rest of the world have a shared cultural identity thst they take pride in. I've spent the afternoon forcing my children to make Christmas sweets from my culture ( they enjoyed it even though its very time consuming) I don't think English people are proud of their identity, which leaves a vacuum for people like Tommy Robinson.

pavillion1 · 03/12/2023 15:21

CalistoNoSolo · 03/12/2023 10:02

My soul aches for England (and the rest of the UK) too, but for very different reasons.

very well said

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 03/12/2023 15:21

I am currently living abroad and like the OP I'm desperate to get back to the uk for Christmas. I didn't expect to miss home as much as I do. I don't mean family ( obviously family) but I literally miss England. So many things.

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