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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Failed DS - totally devastated and boiling with rage!

4 replies

WrongMoveAgain · 02/12/2023 23:54

As background below is a thread I posted in August about my battle to get a specialist education placement for my DS who has ASD and a mild learning disability. He has now not had the provision in his EHCP for 2 and a half years, and had had no college placement for the third year in a row.

The opening post should hopefully explain it:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4861940-to-be-devastated-totally-failed-ds

We are now in December and absolutely nothing has changed. The local authority are trying to palm us off with home tuition (still not started) despite the SEND Tribunal saying EOTAS will not be named on his EHCP.

I have contacted a further 5 colleges who may have been able to accept him for the rest of this academic year and none are suitable. Everywhere else is full.

I have contacted my MP, council ministers, SEND minister, head of council, all to no avail. DS’s psychology team had written a letter stating the effect on his MH, his SW refuses to get involved,

SOS SEN and IPSEA are non plussed and say it’s too complex to advise as they have never come across a case like this before.

Couldn’t get legal help as no legal aid solicitors have capacity for case. Don’t have £5k available just for a private solicitor to look over the paperwork (as quoted) with no guarantees they will get a different outcome if we pay a further £10k for representation.

Meanwhile council have retained a barrister from a top London Chambers for two years to fight us! How is this not a scandal?

We have a 5th Tribunal hearing next week. These things are usually dealt with in 1 hearing! The Judge is horrible and totally bias to the council. I have made many complaints which have been dismissed but this obviously does not endear us to him.

We have no college to name and nor has the council. They will ask for a type of college to be named but as they haven’t be able to name a suitable one in 2 and a half years, how likely is it that they can find one!

In the meantime DS has lost close to 4 years of the EHCP provision he’s only had for 7 years and only got at age 15 after having no support for the whole of his mandatory school years (he also had no provision for most of Yr11 despite getting an EHCP at the end of Yr10).

I am dreading this next hearing. Going to Tribunal has achieved nothing for DS and he’s in a worse situation with his mental health than he was when we started it. So many colleges have refused to take him leaving him feeling constantly rejected.

How do you cope seeing your beautiful son lay in bed all day depressed, with nothing to do, no friends or social life and no hope, say ‘am I that terrible that no one wants to help me’. He’s lost weight and looks skinny, grey and so unhealthy.

WIBU to tell the Judge and council’s barrister exactly what I think of them which may involve the word ‘cunts’?

To be devastated - totally failed DS! | Mumsnet

Too long and complex to explain but I was fighting for a last chance saloon type of education intervention for him. Took a risk I’d win. I lost. N...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4861940-to-be-devastated-totally-failed-ds

OP posts:
athingofbeauty · 03/12/2023 00:34

Write to a newspaper -- yes, perhaps even the DM. With documentation to back what you're saying. If the first doesn't bite, try another. If your son can bear it. (He need not be directly named; you negotiate that with the paper on talking to them.) Nothing like publicity to force bureaucratic change if you're truly desperate.

Sisiwawa · 03/12/2023 00:35

I'm so sorry, this all sounds so hard to deal with.
There was a very good group on Facebook, called Operation Diversity, they have a team of advocates that can look over your case, the history etc and advise and represent you at Tribunals (I think) they charge a few hundred so a lot cheaper than a solicitor. They've had v good success rates and know the law inside out. Maybe contact them. 🌷

AndWordsWhen · 03/12/2023 00:36

So sorry to hear how tough things are. I don't know anything about how all this works, but didn't want to leave you on your own at this time of night. I'm sure someone with more experience will be along soon.

Dontjudgeme101 · 03/12/2023 00:53

I am so sorry to hear that op. 💐💐💐

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