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AIBU?

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Original poster

Family Pass with Ex

81 replies

Pseudojudo · 02/12/2023 21:30

My DP and I have been together for two years and my 7 yo DD and I just moved in with him. He has 3 kids with his ex, who lives around the corner, she wants nothing to do with me and caused a bit of a stink at the beginning of our relationship (no crossover - they were separated 2 years before I came along). Anyway - DP’s father always buys him, his ex and their kids a pass to a local family attraction as a Christmas gift - a family pass. This year is no different, he called up today to get the pass numbers to renew them. I feel a bit annoyed that my DD I are excluded from this gesture, and also that DP has a family pass with his ex, it would be possible for his Dad to get a pass for her and the children and we could buy our own family pass as a household. It just feels weird. DP says IABU - am I?

OP posts:
Bellyblueboy · 03/12/2023 12:49

Babyghirl · 03/12/2023 11:58

@Onabench
They aren't family, they stopped being a family the minute they split up, only thing they have in common now is the kids, mum and kids dad and kids. Needs to be this way so you don't confuse the kids and give them false hope of mum and dad getting back together.

It depends on your definition of family. To the kids their mum and dad are their family. I don’t think a family pass to an attraction that either parent can use should give false hope.

to a lot of people their family is much bigger than a nuclear intact family. And most kids when asked to describe their family will list their mum and dad - regardless of whether they are together or not.

savoycabbage · 03/12/2023 14:59

Babyghirl · 03/12/2023 11:58

@Onabench
They aren't family, they stopped being a family the minute they split up, only thing they have in common now is the kids, mum and kids dad and kids. Needs to be this way so you don't confuse the kids and give them false hope of mum and dad getting back together.

I can't say I ageee with this. Those children will always have those two adults as their parents. That's their family regardless of whether they live together.

Are your family coming to watch you in the play?

No, my parents split up. My dad isn't in my family.

On the other hand if the OP splits up with her partner it's more than likely he will never see the OP's dd again and she won't see his children either.

NewNameNigel · 03/12/2023 15:10

I feel like everyone is ignoring the fact that the grandfather is just calling up and expecting the op to facilitate this gift. If he wants to get the gift fine but expecting the op to help out a gift like this is pretty insensitive. Why can't the grandfather sort this out himself?

Bellyblueboy · 03/12/2023 15:23

All OP said was that the grandfather rang to get the pass numbers? I assume he rang his son rather than OP? then op eother overheard the call or her boyfriend mentioned it afterwards

I didn’t take from the post that OP was supposed to sort this gift? The pass isn’t in her name so why would the grandfather Ring her to get the number.

ZenNudist · 03/12/2023 15:26

JustaSmallSlice · 02/12/2023 21:44

Is the pass essentially a present for his three grandchildren and allows either of their parents to take them? It doesn’t sound like it’s a present for your DP from his father specifically?

This surely?

RedHelenB · 03/12/2023 16:34

PalePurplePumpkin · 02/12/2023 21:49

Why doesn't your DP just pay for your DD to come with?

This.

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