To think with a child at school Annual Leave should be planned carefully?

[fairygalaxy]

My little one is starting school next year and I am nervous about the holidays. There are two of us so I'm thinking most people in our situation would try to split the school holidays and perhaps hope for a week at the grandparents house in the summer?

Anyway, my husband has just announced he's booked a week off in March to go off with his mates. I'm pissed off AIBU? Or is it fair enough as its a stag do?

And yes they aren't starting until September but I had thought the annual leave for the holidays needs to be planned out first. Holidays year runs Jan- Jan for both of us.

In an idea world, yes, you both sit down with your calendars and decide what you'll have off, and save all annual leave between you to cover the school holidays.

It might be ok next year if child starts in September as you would only need to cover october and Christmas between you.

However i would imagine you'll have to be very careful the year after.

Yes. We carefully plan our annual leave to coincide with school holidays and then figure out what's left to cover with holiday camps. Neither me nor DH get to take annual leave which isn't childcare-related. Some people have more support from grandparents but we don't so it's just us having to do it all.

Even without school holidays to think about, you would think a Father would at least consult his partner before booking a holiday...

Yanbu to expect some communication prior to making plans.

I’m an ideal world yes but given it’s a stag do it’s fine as a one off. But make sure you also have some time to yourself without the kids maybe a spa day or weekend away etc. if that’s what you want.

You both need to set out your holiday allowances, along with the school holidays and plan accordingly.

I usually have 35 days holiday per annum so I have enough for couple weeks in summer, Halloween, Easter, Christmas and couple days here and there for bank hold etc.

I usually get my ex to take couple weeks in the summer also then a couple of the bank holidays. I also have a couple holidays booked during the year in term time where I go away without DC so ex is told in advance so he can book these off if needed as well.

In N.Ireland we usually have 8 weeks summer break so the remaining 4 weeks is usually split with the grandparents.

Yes I mean I would have thought it was obvious that you would co-ordinate annual leave to cover holidays and then agree what to do with the spare.

Well surely this is important to him as I'm sure there will be things that are important to you? He's entitled to spend time with friends surely?

We do yes but we also use our leave for stuff for us personally and family stuff.

Generally we need to use clubs as well in the summer.

If it was me, I'd want to go away for the week and as long as it's not regular and he realises he'll need to cover some school hols with the rest of it I wouldn't be fuming over it

You do need to plan annual leave carefully, but let’s keep this in context. She starts in September and holiday year ends end of December, so between the 2 of you you need to cover one week of half term, and a week at Christmas. That’s 2 weeks. Most people get 4 weeks annual leave and it’s for a special occasion so YABU to be pissed off.

We really struggle to make our annual leave stretch to cover it all and usually have to take some unpaid leave, so YANBU to expect him to run it by you first. Annual leave is precious when you have a child in school! I would try and make it work if it was DH but he’s very conscious that it would make school holidays more difficult.

I agree, I’ve now learnt to tell DH at the beginning of the leave year what he needs to book to cover holidays and leave us each with a few days for our own stuff. We also use holiday club but prefer to cover as much as possible ourselves

hm also don’t forget that reception is likely to be a staggered start, so unless your current childcare is still in place and flexible, you’ll likely need to use leave in Sept too. Mine had his first full day of school on 18th September…

Yes you have to be careful - used to piss me off no end that I used all my annual leave for "childcare" - every last day and ex husband would take a couple of days for "me time"

Thank you. Yes I'm thinking it's just not going to be possible to take time off together!

But for a week?!

Ok thanks. So this year it should be OK but next year we're going to have to plan it

Oh fudge.

I forgot that. So I'm going to end up doing a load of half days at work :( I might look into unpaid parental leave. It all sounds stressful.

Isn't there a half term in October too?

We don’t really ‘carefully plan’ we each book time off for holidays. To cover childcare. Or for ourselves if there happens to be something like an event. The rest we just book holiday clubs to cover. No drama

It should be ok given the way your leave years run but in future he needs to coordinate. I know some couples who only manage one week off per year together - the alternate the rest to cover as much of the holidays as possible. Holidays childcare in the primary years is tough - camps can be really good but I also think kids need some downtime at home or just to hang out with friends

I wouldn't begrudge him a stag do but a stag do is one night so 2 days off at most! Not a bloody week! That's a piss take.

Don't forget to take into account inset days as well. There are 5 of them every school year.

Although it is unpaid, parental leave can help as every parent is entitled to it if you have worked for your company for over a year. You're entitled to up to four weeks a year for each child up to 18 weeks per child until they are 18. You need to give 21 days notice of taking it and take it in weekly portions. This is separate and different from taking emergency leave when your children are ill. https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave