To be 32 years old and waiting a year to TTC in order to travel?

[wanderlust1235]

I turned 32 in October. Up until 2 years ago, I have had the most intense fear of flying and hadn't travelled since I was a kid.

After covid I just thought, screw it, I'm doing this. Since then I have been to Dublin, Paris, Barcelona, and Rome. There are still a few European cities that I want to tick off my list in the next 12 months, which I know won't be as easy to do whilst pregnant or with a newborn.

Am I mad to wait a year before TTC so I can travel more (mainly city breaks)? Or am I at the age where I should really stop waiting as my fertility will decline?

I do track my cycles religiously and I have regular cycles, LH surges, I temp to confirm ovulation. Everything seems normal but I know that it doesn't necessarily mean I am fertile and that TTC will be easy.

Any advice/opinions, or personal experiences would be really welcome.

It's totally up to you. No one can say yes definitely either way!
It sounds like travel at the moment is a priority to you.
So you may conceive and then regret not doing it before baby. On the other hand you could put off and then not be able to conceive!
It would be great if we knew if we could!

I have unexplained infertility... started ttc at 27... had my baby at 30 (after a failed round of IVF I conceived naturally).
I'm 35 next week and for the past 3 years no sign of another pregnancy (again totally unexplained)

OP massive congratulations to you for overcoming this phobia! FOF is debilitating and makes sufferers miss out on so much that the world has to offer.

Dig that passport out and get booking trips!

Thanks for everyone's responses, it has given me a lot to think about. I think I will most likely start TTC in a couple of months, and if it happens then it happens.

I couldn't imagine not having a baby, but I also feel like I have a new lease of life after finally overcoming my fear of flying, and I can finally start seeing places that I have always wanted to see. I recently went to Paris, and we did so much exploring and sightseeing that there would be no way I could have done that whilst pregnant or with a baby in tow.

We have 2 trips booked for the first half of 2024 so if we get that BFP in Feb/March time, we still have a decent amount of travel time before baby arrives.

I recently went to Paris, and we did so much exploring and sightseeing that there would be no way I could have done that whilst pregnant

You don't know how being PG will affect you though. I have a DF who played Netball and worked until 38 weeks and a couple of colleagues who worked until 40 weeks. You might be fine.

Fertility issues aside, why not travel by train and reduce your carbon footprint?

Travel, travel, travel! It's be a long time before you can race around an amazing city in quite the same way.

@Crushed23 It really isn’t unusual for 39 yo women to conceive without assistance. I had mine at 39 and 43 with no difficulties at all. And my NCT group was all women over 35.

However it’s very individual. Either you will be able to or you won’t. And possibly many women who start trying late and find it difficult / impossible would have found the same had they tried at a younger age.

Obviously it’s that crystal ball question isn’t it! But I would say think what you would be more upset over, missing afew trips cuz you got preggo fast, or not having baby for afew years yet. If it’s the former wait, if it’s the latter got for it now and what will be will be! You can holiday easily from 12-30 weeks ish (you may be fine under 12 weeks but you may also feel green!)

We flew long haul when I was 7 months pregnant for an active holiday with lots of walking. I had no issues at all other than needing more rests. My pregnancy is uncomplicated and low risk, I’m 38 and it’s my first. Being pregnant is not a barrier to travel if you have a low risk pregnancy.

I would absolutely prioritise ttc over travel at that age but others would think the opposite to me. It's personal and there is no right or wrong as such.

We traveled all over the world with our young dc. We had a great time with them.

If you're going clubbing and drinking on your city breaks and sleeping until evening - well, clearly that's not going to happen with small children. We did indeed have to give that up.

But we swapped to camping, swimming, ice skating, hiking, biking, amusement parks, outdoor archeological sites and fun museums like castles or natural history or science. Zoos, playgrounds, and we ate out with them all the time. Of course it's different, but if you wanted dc, surely different is what you were after.

If it's museums and cafes and shopping on your city breaks - you'll be able to enjoy the hell out of that in your 40's and 50's and onwards.

Travel for the next year if you want to. But don't assume all the fun evaporates once you have dc. That's up to you, your dp, your dc, your interests and your finances.

It might be better.

Just do both. I have a few friends who waited and struggled to get pregnant. One couple took 10 years to eventually have children. You’ll get loads of people saying you’re still fertile in your 40s but the reality is that it isn’t true for everyone. Why take that chance.

TYC while travelling, travel while pregnant (I was exercising and going wherever I wanted until the day of birth all 3 times!) You can also travel very easily with a newborn or small baby, stick them in pram/carrier and go. Just because you have a family does not mean life has to stop completely.

Are you waiting to meet the right partner? Because if that’s already in place, and a baby is definitely something you want, I’d move ahead now rather than saving money for treatments that will be expensive and invasive and may not work.

You could do things to prepare for ttc

Like removing any long term contraception and using mini pill or condoms. Losing weight if needed etc. drinking less.

I think its a pity we dont know how much the risk of eg asd increases by age.

I took 3yrs to have dc1.

I second this given it took so long for my periods to return after stopping the pill! We just used condoms as we didn’t want to ttc straight away (waiting for wedding) but I’m glad I was prepared.

We knew we need IVF so had a ‘blow out’ year before starting and did literally everything we wanted, it was amazing. I still travelled a lot pregnant (I had a really good pregnancy but not everyone does)
Baby is 6 months and despite thinking beforehand we’d still live the same life going everywhere we definitely don’t. We’ve been out the country once since he was born. Too much to pack, too stressful if you stick to a routine like we do and just not as enjoyable.
AND we have a really easy baby. I would get it out your system and assume you won’t be travelling much for a few years after baby. If you manage to when it comes that’s a bonus.

Waiting to meet the right partner. (And not getting my hopes up, given my age.)

Maybe I'm in the minority, but for me it wasn't even about going away with the DC. When they weren't breastfed any longer, I was okay to go away for a few days, while DH and/or DM looked after them, and when they were a bit older, I went away for a week or more farther afield. So it's not even that you're stuck having to travel with babies and children for the foreseeable. Women aren't glued to their DC as long as they can sort out the right support and work as a parenting team. Absolutely no need to see it as explore the world or life over being trapped by DC.