To be 32 years old and waiting a year to TTC in order to travel?

wanderlust1235 · 2023-12-02T11:11:30+00:00

I turned 32 in October. Up until 2 years ago, I have had the most intense fear of flying and hadn't travelled since I was a kid. After covid I just thought, screw it, I'm doing this. Since then I have been to Dublin, Paris, Barcelona, and Rome. There are still a few European cities that I want to tick off my list in the next 12 months, which I know won't be as easy to do whilst pregnant or with a newborn. Am I mad to wait a year before TTC so I can travel more (mainly city breaks)? Or am I at the age where I should really stop waiting as my fertility will decline? I do track my cycles religiously and I have regular cycles, LH surges, I temp to confirm ovulation. Everything seems normal but I know that it doesn't necessarily mean I am fertile and that TTC will be easy. Any advice/opinions, or personal experiences would be really welcome.

Crushed23 · 02/12/2023 11:15

I think a year of travelling before the ordeal of pregnancy, labour & child rearing sounds fantastic - I would definitely go for it at 32. :)

BeardieWeirdie · 02/12/2023 11:16

You may be fertile, your partner may not be. If everything thing else is in place, I’d crack on with trying. It took me 4 years first time and I was a lot younger than you when I started trying. You can absolutely holiday around Europe with a six-month bump if you are lucky enough to fall pregnant quickly.

stealtheatingtunnocks · 02/12/2023 11:16

Sounds great. Good for you.

FrenchandSaunders · 02/12/2023 11:17

Def travel. 32 is nothing and a year will make little difference.

FrenchandSaunders · 02/12/2023 11:18

Don’t do it pregnant or with a baby! Christ no!

Burpcloth · 02/12/2023 11:19

If you're keen to TTC quickly on your return, just consider the timing of going to Zika virus areas (if relevant)

Greenqueen40 · 02/12/2023 11:23

You are 32 not 42! You may get pregnant 1st month of trying... city breaks with babies and toddler are am absolute ballache, go now!

Draoicht · 02/12/2023 11:30

Of course you’re not unreasonable to prioritise travel! I think one of the reasons I’ve not been unduly frustrated by the restrictions of the baby/small child stage of parenthood is because I did a lot of the travelling, solo living, adventuring opportunities first, for years and years, and then had DS at 39. I’ve done those things where you get the chance to live on an uninhabited island or get offered an academic exchange and just think ‘Fuck it’ and do it. And that will happen again once DS has flown the nest.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2023 11:34

A bunch of people will be along shortly to tell you not to waste your fertility.

It’s always obviously a bit of a lottery in terms of fertility and you may have problems in that department. But statistically if you start trying at 33, 34 the odds are that you will be able to conceive. You can never be certain but people overdo the panic about this in my opinion.

Personally I would do it. If you do get pregnant it will be off the table for a minimum 15 years so take it while you can.

Crushed23 · 02/12/2023 11:56

Draoicht · 02/12/2023 11:30

Of course you’re not unreasonable to prioritise travel! I think one of the reasons I’ve not been unduly frustrated by the restrictions of the baby/small child stage of parenthood is because I did a lot of the travelling, solo living, adventuring opportunities first, for years and years, and then had DS at 39. I’ve done those things where you get the chance to live on an uninhabited island or get offered an academic exchange and just think ‘Fuck it’ and do it. And that will happen again once DS has flown the nest.

Sorry to be nosy, but did you have your DS via IVF or did you conceive naturally? I’m mid-30s and starting to worry about my fertility (though I do love my life and all the travelling I get to do!), and considering putting money aside specifically for fertility treatments in the future.

NeedToChangeName · 02/12/2023 11:59

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2023 11:34

A bunch of people will be along shortly to tell you not to waste your fertility.

It’s always obviously a bit of a lottery in terms of fertility and you may have problems in that department. But statistically if you start trying at 33, 34 the odds are that you will be able to conceive. You can never be certain but people overdo the panic about this in my opinion.

Personally I would do it. If you do get pregnant it will be off the table for a minimum 15 years so take it while you can.

You think no one goes on city breaks to Europe with a child under 15?

Draoicht · 02/12/2023 12:03

Crushed23 · 02/12/2023 11:56

Sorry to be nosy, but did you have your DS via IVF or did you conceive naturally? I’m mid-30s and starting to worry about my fertility (though I do love my life and all the travelling I get to do!), and considering putting money aside specifically for fertility treatments in the future.

Show quote history

Naturally. The first month we had unprotected sex. DS was born four months before I turned 40.

Draoicht · 02/12/2023 12:07

NeedToChangeName · 02/12/2023 11:59

You think no one goes on city breaks to Europe with a child under 15?

Show quote history

Unless they have a wondrously compliant child, you won’t be doing the things that constitute my idea of a good time when in a European city — wall to wall art galleries interspersed by café-sitting.

thelonemommabear · 02/12/2023 12:09

You might be fine you might not. No one can really know for sure and it's different for everyone. My experience was I was totally infertile by age 36 multiple miscarriages multiple ectopics lost both tubes. Then had to spend £40k on IVF. Between the age of 34 and 36 - my AMH - a good indicator of likely egg reserve more than halved. That being said I'm the only one out of my friends, family and wider circle of acquaintances who had as bad a time of it that I did

ThePineapplePrincess · 02/12/2023 12:10

Well you’re in your 30s, so if children are important to you, I wouldn’t be putting them off.

You’ll get loads of women saying they had babies later in life, even in their 40s, and you have loads of time, but you don’t, and their hollow words are not going to be a comfort if it doesn’t work out for you.

Tagalongtoucan · 02/12/2023 12:26

I weighed up the same at 28. I was influenced by knowing a few people who had struggled with their fertility unexpectedly and hence chose to TTC rather than travel as I assumed it would take a long time. As it happened, we were very lucky and got pregnant the first month we tried. Now my baby is here, I'd obviously choose them every time and don't feel so fussed at the thought of travel anymore. However, if I had my time again I hope I'd have more perspective and would realise that at a relatively young age, a year is probably not going to change the outcome and the odds are still well on your side.

Also - I had a very rough pregnancy but still managed a few short city breaks at 6/7 months. We had a brilliant time, everyone was very kind and I got queue-skipped frequently!

hotpotlover · 02/12/2023 12:27

Can you ttc and travel at the same time? Is your partner travelling with you?

I had my first at 33, second at 35 and will now have my third one at 36.

Although I was very lucky and my babies came along quickly, I would never advise a woman at 32 to wait.

Everyone's fertitlity is so different.

Whataretheodds · 02/12/2023 12:28

Do it. I would have loved to but couldn't (Covid). As PP say, consider Zika.

Needmorelego · 02/12/2023 12:31

I wouldn't prioritise a "city break" over having a child.
Seriously I wouldn't. Being a mother is a 1000 times more important to me than seeing some museums and old buildings.
That's my personal opinion though.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2023 12:32

@NeedToChangeName

You think no one goes on city breaks to Europe with a child under 15?

I’ve done tons of city breaks with my daughter (now 12). But it’s definitely harder. Certainly when they are under about 8

LaVitesse2022 · 02/12/2023 12:36

If you're 32 a year or two are not going to make a huge difference. You're 32 not 42! The average age to have first child is now 31 so this means plenty of women have first child in their mid thirties. Fertility is very individual but the odds are very much on your side.

nutbrownhare15 · 02/12/2023 12:42

I was you in that I was waiting to TTC, due to work and housing situation, and I'm not sure at what age I would have started trying. I did 9 months of travelling ages 30-31 and would definitely recommend it. At 32 I accidentally conceived my eldest who was born when I was 33. What I will say is that for my peer group overall, conceiving at 30-35 wasn't the main fertility issue if there was one, it was conceiving a second child at 35-40. This is something I would suggest factoring in to your decision making.

onawave · 02/12/2023 12:44

Draoicht · 02/12/2023 11:30

Of course you’re not unreasonable to prioritise travel! I think one of the reasons I’ve not been unduly frustrated by the restrictions of the baby/small child stage of parenthood is because I did a lot of the travelling, solo living, adventuring opportunities first, for years and years, and then had DS at 39. I’ve done those things where you get the chance to live on an uninhabited island or get offered an academic exchange and just think ‘Fuck it’ and do it. And that will happen again once DS has flown the nest.

This is so true. I was 41 when I had my eldest. Spent my 20s and 30s travelling. Working around the world and experiencing everything I wanted to do. It did help me get through the tough baby bit.

burnoutbabe · 02/12/2023 12:44

I would

Plan those must do trips now for the next 3-4 months (or to June 24)
See how you feel, are you actually wanting to do city breaks every month? Could you do quite a lot in a 2-3 week trip or cruise?

If you wanted to travel around Australia on a gap-ya then I'd wait. But not just to see sone European cities that I could knock off in a few weeks if I wanted.

sardinesatemysandwich · 02/12/2023 12:44

Why don't you and your Dh/Dp go and get fertility tests that will inform you of whether you might need to rethink your plans.

I wasn't undergoing any fertility tests or even trying to get pregnant when I found out I had potential fertility problems and following surgery was told I would need IVF to get pregnant due to the state of my reproductive organs. I was 28. Anecdotally I know a lot of friends who tried for a year or more to get pregnant in their late 20s/early 30s. You might conceive immediately, you might not.

We were told if we wanted children ever to start TTC immediately and they would see us in 6 months to start clomid and then 12 months to start the IVF journey. I became pregant immediately which was a shock to everyone my gynae included. I did still go on my booked holiday to Venice and ate my way round all the pizza and ice cream shops to stop the morning (all day) sickness.

Travel with young children is a very different experience than travelling as a couple. I would definitely have fertility testing done.