To be 32 years old and waiting a year to TTC in order to travel?

[wanderlust1235]

I turned 32 in October. Up until 2 years ago, I have had the most intense fear of flying and hadn't travelled since I was a kid.

After covid I just thought, screw it, I'm doing this. Since then I have been to Dublin, Paris, Barcelona, and Rome. There are still a few European cities that I want to tick off my list in the next 12 months, which I know won't be as easy to do whilst pregnant or with a newborn.

Am I mad to wait a year before TTC so I can travel more (mainly city breaks)? Or am I at the age where I should really stop waiting as my fertility will decline?

I do track my cycles religiously and I have regular cycles, LH surges, I temp to confirm ovulation. Everything seems normal but I know that it doesn't necessarily mean I am fertile and that TTC will be easy.

Any advice/opinions, or personal experiences would be really welcome.

Fair enough but it's not a zero sum game is it? You write about it as if one city break will destroy the OP's fertility.

In fact at 32 the odds are very much on her side. Yes there's risk (there's risk attached to everything), but unless there are specific reasons to think that her fertility is declining faster than the average there's no reason to panic about put your whole life on hold. And a couple of city breaks is not going to make much difference to that.

OP there's also no reason you can't TTC while going on city breaks. Sitting at home being glued to an ovulation chart isn't going to make you any more likely to conceive. If you were going on safari or trekking the Hindu Kush you might have more of a point but going to Amsterdam and Copenhagen won't make any difference to your odds of getting pregnant.

Having TTC in my 30s I wouldn't advise anyone to postpone at that age.

I know women who at 25 and 27 needed help with fertility treatments and I know women who conceived naturally in their forties (45 and 47). You don’t know which bracket you’ll fall into. I’d travel if it were me, I have children now and I traveled to some dangerous but interesting places before they were born that I’ll never feel comfortable going back to now I have children.

OP there's also no reason you can't TTC while going on city breaks. Sitting at home being glued to an ovulation chart isn't going to make you any more likely to conceive. If you were going on safari or trekking the Hindu Kush you might have more of a point but going to Amsterdam and Copenhagen won't make any difference to your odds of getting pregnant.

I do agree with this though entirely. TTC and visiting a couple of cities aren't mutually exclusive activities.

I wouldn't. Too many people I know had trouble with fertility, including my parents, so I had my first at 32 and my second at 35, with that 35 limit in my head (know this is massively debated and people will always say they had no problems conceiving at 45 etc etc but as I say, I had reason to err on the side of caution, and still was no spring chicken). I wouldn't have put that off for tourism. Especially not city breaks, which you can do while DP looks after the kids anyway. I travelled to Africa, Russia, the US, all over the show for work/fun while the kids were little and it was all fine, plus now they're older and me and DP can do our own thing sooner than if we'd waited till later in life to TTC.

So no, I wouldn't wait personally, but sure plenty of people will say otherwise.

I would do both. You don’t know how long it will take to get pregnant. Why wait on either count? The second trimester I pretty relaxed so you could get some good trips in then. And it’s relatively few women who are completely bedridden with nausea in the first trimester.

If you want more than one child then I would say get started sooner rather than later. I got pregnant very easily at 32. I’m now 35 and trying for my second and having trouble.

We have had some lovely mini breaks with our 2yo DD. Under fours go free on the Eurostar and we had a fab time doing lots of art galleries in Paris.

Get your AMH tested (just a blood test) to give you an indication of egg reserve.

Is it just some European city breaks you want to tick off? If so I wouldn’t wait. It might take longer than you think in which case you can travel whilst TTC. I felt rough in my first trimester but I’m 20 weeks now and mostly feeling fine, I would easily be able to handle a weekend away. If you’re thinking of a few months backpacking that’s obviously a different story.

By the way I’m 33 and this is my first DC, took 6 months after stopping the pill for my periods to return and another 4 months to conceive. Is everything else lined up? Decent partner/husband, house etc?

You never know how things will turn out. My family tree is full of women who stayed fertile and had children into their mid 40s. I was unable to conceive a viable one after 34, and starting at 31 meant I ended up with two children when I wanted 3 or 4.
If I could I would go back in time and start at 28.
So, if your priority is to travel of course it is fine to do that. But if you know you want children (more than one) then I'd start now tbh. Personally I don't think travelling with a newborn would be bad- they are very portable at that age.
Also, my children have been all over the place. It is expensive travelling as a family but not at all impossible or even difficult.

Just to add to that, everything pointed to me being very fertile even when I was 40. Perfect hormone levels, good ovarian reserve, plenty of follicles, regular periods. But still no dice.

I’d probably just do both. Realistically if you start TTC tomorrow it’ll be minimum 10 months before you actually have a baby; if it takes you a little while (it took me 10 months to conceive when I started trying at 32) then you’ll have even longer, plus the added bonus of a good distraction from the tedium of TTC if it’s dragging on. Yes, pregnancy experiences vary but I was personally fine to travel short haul for long weekends until around 33 weeks.

A compromise would be to use the next 6 months or so to cram in any trips that you’d really regret not taking before you start trying. Also depending on your circumstances there’s always the possibility of travelling once your baby arrives, whether with them or without - I had a lovely long weekend in Paris with a friend when my son was 18 months old whilst he stayed home with his dad!

You can TTC whilst travelling esp. if you are already tracking as long as you avoid Zika countries. Once pregnant as long as you're not doing crazy stuff travel is still more than possible esp. in the 2nd trimester. So why wait?

I started trying at 34, got pregnant at 35 and won't give birth until 36. If we want a 2nd we'll have to have a short gap which isn't ideal and there are no guarantees on fertility with #2. We couldn't avoid waiting but ideally I'd have started younger and would not put off TTC for travel.

YANBU - but don’t underestimate how much you can travel with a baby. It’s different from travel pre kids but you can still have a great time. With DC1 we couldn’t travel as much as I’d like as it was during covid but with DC2 we’ve done Copenhagen, Oslo, Bergen and the Scottish highlands all before he was 8 months old - and we’ll add Rome before he’s one.

We also did India and Nepal while I was pregnant with DC1 and had planned to do New York, Barcelona and Jerusalem if covid hadn’t intervened. As I got really bad morning sickness that probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway but it’s possible if you have an easy pregnancy.

Very difficult one OP. I appeared to be fertile on paper, came off the pill at 30, tracked my cycle, was ovulating and had a 28 day cycle. Started TTC at 32 but didn’t have DC1 until I was 36. In the meantime we travelled a lot. So at least I got to see lots of places, whilst also going down the long road of fertility treatment.

The risk you’re taking is falling pregnant straight away and not being able to travel. However, you can always travel with a baby / children. Our teenagers have chalked up over 20 countries!

On balance I’d say start TTC now. The risk of time running out for you is worse I’d say.

To give another perspective to this. My friend has a 2.5 year old and they go on the most insane holidays with her. Belize, Guatemala, Iceland, Jordan are some of the places to name, but also done lots of European city breaks and beach holidays.

Before I had my baby, I thought she was insane and had a magical baby, but it’s their attitude and approach to parenting that’s made this all possible.

Yes, holidays are totally different, but still very much possible to travel and explore new places with a baby in tow.

So whatever you decide, go for it and I hope you have a great time travelling, with or without a baby in tow!

Don't be mad. We did Morroco/Sahara with a 2 &4 year old. We did Paris when they were 7&9, Rome at 6 &8 and I took DS to Barcelona at 10 as a special treat. You can travel in the school holidays with school age DCs.

Imagine these two options

It's September 2024 and you have just given birth to a baby conceive the first month of ttc

Or

It's September 2024 and You have had an amazing 10 months of travel and adventure?

Which one appeals the most?

Travelling whilst pregnant isn't a huge faff unless you're nearing the end (at which point you need a doctor's letter to fly). I had HG, which sucks a lot, but still managed to fly to my in-laws in Europe a couple of times, and my cousin's wedding. Spent most of the time with my head in the loo, though...

I'd not wait, but that's because I needed IVF to get pregnant (8 rounds!) - I had regular cycles, BMI of 20, a healthy diet and lifestyle (DH too) and there was no reason to think I'd be infertile (my mum got pregnant first try each time and had 4 healthy children). I'm now menopausal at 39, which is mad! We were so, so lucky to get our DS (gave birth aged 32). We had 5 more rounds trying for a sibling, but it didn't work out.

Don't take your fertility for granted.

Or, it's September 2026, and after TTC for 2 years you're still not pregnant.

@KvotheTheBloodless

That is an outcome but it doesn't help op with her decision making!

By boiling it down to my two completely fantastical situations I was hoping it would trigger as response in the OP!

Nobody can tell you that waiting a year is a good or bad idea for your fertility because until you start to try you have NO idea if your going to be able to conceive naturally or not.

You could spend the next 3 years travelling all over the world and get pregnant on the first attempt at 35 or you could start trying now and still be trying in 3 years. It’s impossible to say.

Personally if you’re 100% sure you want kids start trying now, but still go on your city breaks.

@Ascubudr

Don't be mad. We did Morroco/Sahara with a 2 &4 year old. We did Paris when they were 7&9, Rome at 6 &8 and I took DS to Barcelona at 10 as a special treat. You can travel in the school holidayswith school age DCs.

Yeah I've done it with my DD as well, I'm not disagreeing with you, I think you're missing the point a bit.

My point is while there is legitimate concern about fertility declining after the age of 30 there's no need to remain in the UK indefinitely hoping it will improve your chances. You can go on mini breaks and TTC. They're not mutually exclusive.

Oh gosh yes, at 32 , I’d not worry about a year to go travelling! People can have fertility issues at any age, and there are no guarantees, but in your early 30s you are highly, highly unlikely to have age-related fertility issues. Unless early menopause runs in your family, or your have other reasons to worry, I wouldn’t give it a second thought and crack on and enjoy your freedom for now ☺️ x

Regular periods doesn’t indicate much. Mine are like clockwork and it took me 10 cycles TC my DC2, age 31. It’s Sod’s Law: if you put it off another year, it’ll take years, if you try now you’ll get your BFP next month!

You can still travel with kids, and for financial reasons, I’d not be splashing the cash whilst planning TTC as mat leave and returning to work can be a drain. But we all have different depth pockets! Best of luck to you. YANBU whatever you decide

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