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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I can't cope with Christmas already

84 replies

treebranch123 · 01/12/2023 21:14

It's December 1 and I've already had enough. The trees, the boasting, every house has lights up, polar breakfasts, the elf, light trails, piles of gifts, multiple trees, giant nutcrackers, bannister decorations, bloody door decorations, children getting gift after gift and that's just to celebrate December 1.... I could cope with that just about but the social media boasting OMG it's awful this year.

We've lost it. We've lost what Xmas really is about. I'm not religious particularly but for me it's about family. A break from work, quality time with family and friends. It is not about how many likes I get on Facebook showing of my candy cane and holly front door surround!

Is it just me or is Christmas on steroids this year?! What is going on?

OP posts:

Needmorelego · 01/12/2023 22:43

Just ignore it and celebrate Christmas the way you want.
I have started to see a few lights up in people's windows and obviously Christmas items for sale in shops (actually doesn't seem to be as much merchandise this year - compared to several years ago) but that's it.
Why do you care what other people do? If they want to go OTT and put it on Facebook or wherever - so what?
They are them, you are you.

mrmagpie · 01/12/2023 22:46

User65412 · 01/12/2023 22:26

@greencheetah sorry slightly unrelated to the OP but how do you manage the FOMO? I quit FB last year for several months but ended up rejoining because with 2 toddlers, loads of stuff for them is only advertised on there. Things like playgroups and also events are almost always exclusively on FB and I really did feel like I was missing out without it. Also toys and clothes on marketplace. I promised I'd only use it for those things but have slipped straight back into the dread scroll!

I know what you mean. I'm in a couple of very helpful and supportive groups on Facebook to do with a rare health thing I have, have three young kids and everything seems to be advertised on Facebook for them, even the parent council at school and things like that. Plus marketplace and whatnot. But I can't seem to keep it to just that and get sucked back in.

Actually though, because of said health thing I am off sick from work just now and so have avoided posting anything at all on Facebook for a while (am friends with a few colleagues on there). I've realised I don't actually need it for that anymore, and I've actually enjoyed just sending the odd photo or message directly to relevant friends or family without needing the feedback of people on social media.

We've also had some money problems and have cut out lots of extras - no pumpkin picking, no Santa 'experience' (they saw one at the school fayre for free), no elf, no Christmas pyjamas etc... I never even bought an advent calendar and not one of the kids has mentioned it. Or any of the other 'missing' stuff either. It's made me realise that I was probably doing all that because of pressure and feeling the need to fit in, rather than because my children actually need it.

LadyGwendoline · 01/12/2023 22:47

It’s really not compulsory to do anything like anyone else! There are none of the things you’ve mentioned in my home, and the children are happy. I have adult and younger children and we have a simple Christmas - Yule log brought in from the woods and decorated, gingerbread house made, paperchains, tree up around the 20th, presents afternoon of 25th after a nice lunch. We have no family left, or friends who live nearby, but we have a gentle, happy time with plenty of laughter.
I don’t use any social media apart from Mumsnet, you don’t have to!

Nineteendays · 01/12/2023 22:47

Christmas is also on steroids on my social media. This year it seems that ‘happy elf day’ is a thing- wtf. I even heard it on the radio- happy elf day! I don’t have an elf. I’ve seen some mega elaborate we’re back elf related Facebook posts. Some are in crazy balloons. I’ve snoozed those people for a month so I can avoid their elf updates each day. I think it’s so easy to get panicked when you see social media- trees up early, mega decorations, people going to reindeer farms, Santa breakfasts, elf antics, Lapland, I’m seeing it all. But none of it matters. All that matters is you and your family enjoying the time. Mute people if you need to or come off Facebook for a bit if it helps

RecoveryDue · 01/12/2023 22:51

I am lucky in that I am in my fifties and nobody I know does stuff like this. If I saw it, I would just laugh and feel relief I don’t have to take part. I had no idea that 1st Dec was a ‘thing’!

I think the key is to try and be secure in your own Christmas, your own traditions, and try and make sure your own needs are met. Easier said than done for many I know.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 01/12/2023 22:52

The trees - none up here

the boasting - who is doing this?

every house has lights up - we have some up (just a few in the 2 front windows) I helped our next door neighbour put some in her garden tree today too. Ours are always on from 1st December to 12th night. This is a very dark time of year and they cheer us up.

polar breakfasts- what is this?

the elf - never done this

light trails - more commercialism but nice if you’re into that kind of thing

piles of gifts- I only started shopping this week, nowhere near wrapping

multiple trees, giant nutcrackers, bannister decorations, bloody door decorations, children getting gift after gift and that's just to celebrate December 1.... - honestly @treebranch123 you need to get off FB and Insta. Most people’s reality is nowhere near the snippets that you see on social media.

fussychica · 01/12/2023 23:00

Agree with muchtoomuchtodo. I have no idea what a polar breakfast is either.
Dont where you live but it sounds pretty odd. The shops here are starting with their Xmas window displays but no one in the road has decorations yet. We usually go away to avoid the too early build up but are around this year and I'm looking forward to an early carol concert at the church next week, the true spirit of Christmas.

Dogcatmousecat · 01/12/2023 23:02

I might see a pic on FB of friends trees later in the month,otherwise absolutely no other Christmas related posts ! Elf on the shelf was never a thing when my lot were younger,my daughter is refusing thank god not to even start that rubbish!
Am going to have to google a polar breakfast…never heard of this !
Just ignore all that rubbish and enjoy Christmas how you want to do it !

Potatopies · 01/12/2023 23:03

I do wonder why you think posting this stuff on social media is boasting? I love to see my friends ‘elf on the shelf’ posts. It’s good for inspiration and the kids go mad for it, they’re delighted by it. I also like seeing what they get up to, xmas light trails etc.

If these people were really your friends you’d probably enjoy seeing their happy moments. I’m not talking about the ‘influencers’ i just mean your normal friends on social media.

Instead you’re twisting it into boasting etc. I think that says more about you and your own insecurities. I’m sure some people boast but most people are just enjoying their lives. It’s probably a good idea to unfollow anyone who isn’t really your friend in real life.

mrswhiplington · 01/12/2023 23:04

Goodornot · 01/12/2023 21:19

It's just you.

I am religious and I am looking forward to the special church service for advent Sunday this weekend. Also looking forward to all of the services between now and Candlemas in February.

Happy to have my mum for one last Christmas before cancer takes her out next year.

Happy to spend time with loved ones and friends.

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas.🎄

RantyAnty · 01/12/2023 23:07

Why are you looking at it?
Turn it off.
It really is that simple.

User3456 · 01/12/2023 23:11

YANBU..I cannot be bothered. DS got a chocolate advent calendar this morning. I might put up some fairy lights. There will be presents and Christmas dinner. I can't find the energy to do more, it's exhausting having to do it every single year.

venusandmars · 01/12/2023 23:12

I feel so sad for the pressure that is put on children...

I'm an old gimmer, so none of this was part our growing up. There were no crappy elves, and Christmas started about the 18th of December when the school term was nearly ended.

My dc is (I think) sensible about all the commercial rubbish. But my dgc hear friends talking about the elves and they want one. That is just awful, awful commercial pressure to create something that has never been part of our history or culture.

DC1888 · 01/12/2023 23:13

Of the many great things about Christmas, celebrating it is also an exercise of religous freedom and a great big up yours to the Puritans who banned it.

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20141219-when-christmas-carols-were-banned

When Christmas carols were banned

During the Puritans’ rule of England, celebrating on 25 December was forbidden. Singing yuletide songs then was a political act, writes Clemency Burton-Hill.

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20141219-when-christmas-carols-were-banned

PictureFrameWindow · 01/12/2023 23:13

Ah goodness don't compare yourself to wannabe influencers. At least some of them will be ignoring their kids to get the right shot for insta! Make it a part of Christmas to return to your values and get away from this keeping up with the Joneses.

FusionChefGeoff · 01/12/2023 23:14

I'd come off the socials if I were you and that would solve most of your problems as you wouldn't see it! Just focus on what you want to and ignore everyone else it's easy

Nesbi · 01/12/2023 23:19

Maybe the question is why do your social media algorithms think you like this type of content? Are your friends and family massively into it or are you hate clicking on content that makes you upset?

PickAChew · 01/12/2023 23:20

You're spending too much of your life on social media. It's all fine out here, in the real world.

Nanalisa60 · 01/12/2023 23:21

I think it social media, just come off and have the family Christmas that you want. I personally don’t care if people but up there decs on the 1st December or the 24th December it’s there choice. Buy remember everything looks better on Facebook (should have even called boastbook) but I doubt that there really life is nothing like there social media image. Remember it’s probably all smoke and mirrors.

JudgeJ · 01/12/2023 23:26

treebranch123 · 01/12/2023 21:35

I think peak for me was someone that had set up a nice breakfast with multiple advent calendars, elf, themed bowls etc. but had gone to social media to ask people to edit the background. I assume so she can get rid of the crap shown in the background of her kitchen and repost it all fake and nice on insta etc.

I guess my issue is with social media. Not Xmas. But I agree with previous poster. Half this stuff is for show... it's for the insta

Totally disagree, 98% is for show and for 'the insta', never seen it but it sounds to be the home of the 21st century Joneses or the perpetually sunny gingham kitchens of the 60s and 70s. I wonder how people's lives would be improved by removing themselves from this kind of bragalot aspect of social media? If you choose to constantly compare your life to some fatuous make believe then you're almost certainly going to be disappointed. There are programmes on TV about Christmas at Sandringham, Longleat, Selfridges, if mine's not like those I'll be mortified!

Bbq1 · 01/12/2023 23:28

NuffSaidSam · 01/12/2023 21:16

Your problem isn't Christmas, it's social media.

Put your phone down/turn the iPad off/close the laptop and do something else. You'll feel much better.

This

jesterdourt · 01/12/2023 23:29

Your problem isn't Christmas, it's social media.

This! none of my close friends or family go overboard at Christmas. i’m sure some people I know do but I dont use insta or fb so i’m sheltered!

JudgeJ · 01/12/2023 23:29

I am religious and I am looking forward to the special church service for advent Sunday this weekend.

I too look forward to the first service of Advent, we get bacon and/or sausage butties!

Screamingabdabz · 01/12/2023 23:32

I just want to say it’s not just you op.

Like pp I’m in my 50s and I look agog at all this tacky bollocks like elves on shelves and 1st Dec and Christmas Eve boxes and commercial shit just because of the immature peer pressure that is social media. It’s just a massive air horn signal to the need to fit in and be validated. No one is truly happy just to be anything less than extra and it’s largely cheap Chinese tat propping it up and killing the planet.

All for a pseudo Christian festival in a country where hardly anyone considers the spiritual meaning anymore.

It’s all bonkers. And the more inflatable Santas I see, the more soulless and sad it is.

TheHappiestChristmasTree · 01/12/2023 23:32

Just putting this here

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