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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I can't cope with Christmas already

84 replies

treebranch123 · 01/12/2023 21:14

It's December 1 and I've already had enough. The trees, the boasting, every house has lights up, polar breakfasts, the elf, light trails, piles of gifts, multiple trees, giant nutcrackers, bannister decorations, bloody door decorations, children getting gift after gift and that's just to celebrate December 1.... I could cope with that just about but the social media boasting OMG it's awful this year.

We've lost it. We've lost what Xmas really is about. I'm not religious particularly but for me it's about family. A break from work, quality time with family and friends. It is not about how many likes I get on Facebook showing of my candy cane and holly front door surround!

Is it just me or is Christmas on steroids this year?! What is going on?

OP posts:
DaisyDoor · 01/12/2023 21:55

Honestly don’t know a single person who behaves like this, or if they do it’s behind closed doors and not on social media.

Just stay of SM or stop following the people who annoy you.

redfacebigdisgrace · 01/12/2023 21:55

Where are you seeing all this shite? You need to get off social media. It’s not the real world.

SutWytTi · 01/12/2023 21:57

I agree this is a social media issue.

WrongSwanson · 01/12/2023 21:57

I had a few people posting that they had put their tree up in mid November, but otherwise haven't seen anything like op is describing in social media.

PinkyFlamingo · 01/12/2023 21:58

Why do you care what other people do? Will never understand that.

CommonOrNot · 01/12/2023 22:00

I do feel Christmas is on steroids this year. However I innocently posted a picture of my advent yesterday on a related work page and every client I’ve had today has commented on my house/set up/decorations so I’m assuming I’ve came off as braggy too. Oh well.

EarringsandLipstick · 01/12/2023 22:01

Well, yes, it's social media, but it's also the prevailing narrative, and can be intrusive, even if you're not on social media.

While the answer might seem simple, it all taps into our inner insecurities, and that's the part that's magnified at Christmas. Most of the time, for example, I'm fine with it just being me + the kids at the dinner table, but at Christmas I hate it & feel there should be a gang of connected adults & kids, all happy together.

Yobans · 01/12/2023 22:02

Naptrappedmummy · 01/12/2023 21:40

But they don’t hence the show-off photos and long gushing captions about how they do it because they love their kids so much etc

And once everyone else starts doing something it becomes harder and harder to ‘deprive’ your kids because of a principal or because you simply can’t be bothered and have enough to do.

I’m sick of all of it, the Christmas Eve boxes, the elf on a shelf, the bloody balloon arches. If we want an answer about why mums struggle so much now compared with our parents and grandparents then some of your answer is right here

I don’t think it’s depriving children by not doing all these things - elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, Christmas pj’s and bedding, balloon arches and now I’m only learning from MN Dec 1st stuff. I think I’m doing them a favour by not doing any of the above because when / if they have a family of their own they won’t feel they need to do all the unnecessary waste of money stuff for their children. We have an amazing Christmas with a tree, a few decorations, presents, family and yummy food. I love Christmas and so do our children.

Naptrappedmummy · 01/12/2023 22:03

Yobans · 01/12/2023 22:02

I don’t think it’s depriving children by not doing all these things - elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, Christmas pj’s and bedding, balloon arches and now I’m only learning from MN Dec 1st stuff. I think I’m doing them a favour by not doing any of the above because when / if they have a family of their own they won’t feel they need to do all the unnecessary waste of money stuff for their children. We have an amazing Christmas with a tree, a few decorations, presents, family and yummy food. I love Christmas and so do our children.

That’s why I put it in quotation marks!

labamba007 · 01/12/2023 22:04

I was speaking to the cashier in Morrisons yesterday and she said a lot of customers have said their Christmas lights are up because they've had a tough year and it cheers them up. Sometimes. It just makes people cheery that's all.

Yobans · 01/12/2023 22:06

Naptrappedmummy · 01/12/2023 22:03

That’s why I put it in quotation marks!

Oh yes sorry didn’t see that.

I feel sorry for Mum’s who genuinely feel like they have to do all these things for their children.

LimeCheesecake · 01/12/2023 22:07

i don’t think all the posts saying “stay off social media” or “it’s just social media” like that’s normal for social media are helping.

OP - the problem is the sort of people you have chosen to follow or be friends with. This is not normal for the bulk of society. Yet you have surrounded yourself - either physically or just online - with people who are twattish about presenting a fake perfect life.

I refuse to believe anyone who goes to all the effort to blur out their kitchen background from the perfect Christmas breakfast photo wasnt also posting shite around posed pumpkin picking, Halloween decorations/costumes, before that perfect holiday photos and stylised summer picnics.

there’s no point asking others if they’ve seen lots of Christmas nonsense posts, because I bet all those saying “no” wouldn’t follow /be friends with the sort of people who post like this.

You chose who you follow and are friends with. This is the feed you have chosen.

ReadySalty · 01/12/2023 22:10

Don't sweat the superficial.

Just be normal - tree up two weeks before, an obligatory amount of time with relatives. A good night out or two with close friends.

It's just one day.

lesdeluges · 01/12/2023 22:12

If you are not a fan of all the "stuff" of the lead in to Christmas, I doubt you are alone. I'm the same, but I try to ignore most of it and live and let live. The OTT folk are not doing it to impress me, because I couldn't care less what anyone else does or spends, that's their business and good luck to them.

I prefer a simpler time, but enjoyable nonetheless. My favourite thing is the pre Christmas gathering of family in my house before I leg it abroad on 18th December for three weeks (OMG) to avoid all the mayhem! I have a little fold up paper Christmas tree on the mantelpiece, and a few LED tealigts. That's it for me, it's the people that are important and as long as they are fed and watered well all are happy.

I echo the SM advice too. There's nothing worse than online boasting, which can often mask the reality of such people's lives I often feel. Overcompensation much??

BananaPyjamaLlama · 01/12/2023 22:14

Almost all the things in your op........are either things I didnt know were a thing (wth is a polar breakfast?) or things I would never ever consider doing.
We put up decorations in the lounge (usually around 15th December), make a few home made crafts and Christmas edibles, post a few cards, deliver a few locally. Christmas eve from about 3pm I cook stuff and listen to the festival of carols (think its called something like that?) on the radio. Christmas day is a special breakfast, presents, Christmas lunch and a board game in the afternoon. Teatime is crackers and cheese and left overs.

Thats what we've done every year since they were tiny (with never any fuss/lies about a man in a red suit). Its simple and its wonderful. Hopefully participating in Christmas services at our local church too but thats a tricky one (which I wont bore you all with here!)

ThisHouseWillBeTheDeathOfMe · 01/12/2023 22:19

Haven't seen any of these kind of elf/balloon arch posts either.

Sometimes I'll post our tree when we've finished doing it, purely because I have a real knack for it, and I'm proud to show it off, but it's not faked or edited, or faddy. Just the tree.

But please know, that when our beautiful tree goes up, what won't be in that post, is that 3yo DTwins got their advents today and screamed at the concept that there were many doors of chocolate, but they could only have one, and have both now eaten their entire calendars. (Memo to self, this will be the first and last year they get a chocolate one.)

Or that we went to our local light switch on, pulling them in their double cart, boy twin howling that he had to sit in the cart, and not pull it through the 1000 odd people packed into our tiny market square, and girl twin howling on the little fairground ride she insisted on going on.

We endured half an hour, then had to take them home. Ten minutes before the switch on.

One post, does not reflect the bigger picture.

throughgrittedteeth · 01/12/2023 22:24

I agree with everything you said but I particularly hate the fucking elves.

User65412 · 01/12/2023 22:26

@greencheetah sorry slightly unrelated to the OP but how do you manage the FOMO? I quit FB last year for several months but ended up rejoining because with 2 toddlers, loads of stuff for them is only advertised on there. Things like playgroups and also events are almost always exclusively on FB and I really did feel like I was missing out without it. Also toys and clothes on marketplace. I promised I'd only use it for those things but have slipped straight back into the dread scroll!

Nongatron · 01/12/2023 22:29

That’s beautiful @stargirl1701

Girlsjustwannahavefundamentalrights · 01/12/2023 22:32

In a world where thousands of humans are routinely murdering thousands of other humans, i personally can't get upset about some women (and it is women you're getting at) trying to make Christmas special for their children and sharing it with their friends on social media.

Hbh17 · 01/12/2023 22:33

I don't know anyone who does all this stuff, and I haven't seen anything about it on social media. Perhaps it's about being more selective re who/what we follow? The delete button is your friend!

Uurrjb · 01/12/2023 22:36

I haven’t seen any of those things so far….where are you getting your content from??

RedVanYellowVan · 01/12/2023 22:37

Ignore it. Unless I've missed a vital memo Christmas is not compulsory. Just do the bits you want to do, stay off social media until at least early January and go to the shops as little as possible.

My winters have vastly improved since I gave it all up except for a family meal and a few fairy lights.

I avoid the shops, all the landfill tat and crap gives me the rage. I just go to the fruit and veg aisle when absolutely necessary.

LolaSparkle · 01/12/2023 22:40

Girlsjustwannahavefundamentalrights · 01/12/2023 22:32

In a world where thousands of humans are routinely murdering thousands of other humans, i personally can't get upset about some women (and it is women you're getting at) trying to make Christmas special for their children and sharing it with their friends on social media.

This!!!

MsRosley · 01/12/2023 22:41

Yup, get off social media. I was out tonight, driving around, and no sign of Xmas lights up anywhere in the houses.