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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have laughed out loud in Tesco

145 replies

Sallystruthers · 01/12/2023 13:49

After putting the tree up last night I nipped to Tesco to grab a bottle of wine to toast the start of the festive season. Whilst in there I decided to grab something for breakfast…

Then I realised I was walking around with wine and sausages and other customers MUST be thinking “oooh she’s got a good weekend planned with her wine and sausages!” and chortled out loud to myself.

Wanted to explain myself to the cashier but felt the retelling of a mumsnet thread would not be of interest to them at the end of the shift.

Sometimes the best threads just come back to you at the most inopportune moments 😀

OP posts:
JumpingDizzy · 01/12/2023 20:04

WhichIsItWendy · 01/12/2023 19:40

Thought I had read about wine and sausages before! Come on OP, try harder.

Show quote history

Op said it was related to that thread

GladioliandSweetPeas · 01/12/2023 23:44

Sallystruthers · 01/12/2023 13:49

After putting the tree up last night I nipped to Tesco to grab a bottle of wine to toast the start of the festive season. Whilst in there I decided to grab something for breakfast…

Then I realised I was walking around with wine and sausages and other customers MUST be thinking “oooh she’s got a good weekend planned with her wine and sausages!” and chortled out loud to myself.

Wanted to explain myself to the cashier but felt the retelling of a mumsnet thread would not be of interest to them at the end of the shift.

Sometimes the best threads just come back to you at the most inopportune moments 😀

to toast the start of the festive season

This is the lamest booze-excuse I've ever heard and I've had/have 3 immediate family members with alcoholism

GladioliandSweetPeas · 01/12/2023 23:44

FreshWinterMorning · 01/12/2023 13:53

Ummm, no. I would not thing anything of someone buying wine and sausages.

What a strange thread. Confused

Isn't it just? "I laughed in Tescos" Confused

SoggyDoggyWalks · 02/12/2023 00:11

We moved house 3 months before DD was born and went shopping to buy pizzas and snacks for moving day, so ended up with a trolley pretty much entirely of junk food. Looked behind myself at the checkout and the midwife who ran our antenatal class was loading her nice healthy shopping onto the conveyor belt.

iamtheiliad · 02/12/2023 00:27

I used to work in a supermarket and the people who say that cashiers don’t generally notice what you’re buying are generally correct.

There was one particular time that someone did stand out (and it was the cashier’s fault entirely). There was a teenage boy, probably about 16-ish, buying just a packet of condoms. The cashier wasn’t sure if we needed to ID check people for condoms (you don’t) so shouted the supervisor’s name while waving the condoms in the air, pointing at the customer and shouting “is he allowed to buy these or does he need ID?” I have never seen anyone look as mortified as that boy and I always wonder if he was ever brave enough to buy them again. Hopefully it’s just a funny story he tells now!

Original poster
Sallystruthers · 02/12/2023 09:23

@GladioliandSweetPeas I know mumsnet is famously judgey re alcohol consumption, but definitely didn’t expect to be diagnosed as alcoholic based on this thread, but it must be true so off to look up rehab, thank you

@JumpingDizzy @Highlyflavouredgravy @ReadingSoManyThreads thank you, was just sharing, with the only people likely to understand, that sometimes threads are memorable, and can inject some laughter into life.

Although not the original intention of the thread, the weird basket combinations, from the not stroppy posters, have been entertaining. So thanks for more puerile fun.

@NonPlayerCharacter @porridgeisbae and I had never considered the logistics, just the innuendo, but thanks to you guys I’ll never look at sausages (whether frozen/raw/cooked) in the same way again 😂

OP posts:
43ontherocksporfavor · 02/12/2023 15:28

I thought of you today OP when I was at the till in Aldi and the guy serving me said ‘ That’s a big cucumber!’ and carried on and I laughed out loud when I made eye contact with the woman behind me in the queue! 😂

NappiesAndBunFluff · 02/12/2023 18:32

I used to work in a supermarket about 15 years ago and still remember a fella once came in and bought a pizza, some chocs, a bottle of wine and a box of condoms.
Sometimes you just need the essentials! Dinner, dessert and entertainment sorted.

Wales1 · 02/12/2023 19:53

😂😂

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 02/12/2023 19:54

ha!!! I think if someone saw you laughing to yourself with your sausages and wine they would definitely think 'way to go girl' or is it just us ones with our kind of minds. Enjoy your wine and ahem sausages.....
I always feel weird when in the shop and am feeling up cucumbers to see if they will stay fresh and are hard.

AnnieSnap · 02/12/2023 20:17

FreshWinterMorning · 01/12/2023 13:53

Ummm, no. I would not thing anything of someone buying wine and sausages.

What a strange thread. Confused

This 👆 I mean, sure if you found it funny, enjoy, but sausages? Seriously?

Philandbill · 02/12/2023 20:39

NappiesAndBunFluff · 02/12/2023 18:32

I used to work in a supermarket about 15 years ago and still remember a fella once came in and bought a pizza, some chocs, a bottle of wine and a box of condoms.
Sometimes you just need the essentials! Dinner, dessert and entertainment sorted.

Ahem. Went over to see (now ex) boyfriend many years ago and he'd been to the shop and bought three items - wine, condoms and a CD of George Michael's "Older" album. Woman on till laughed but as she was the wife of one of his soldiers I don't think it was kept private 😱

Maddy70 · 02/12/2023 20:45

I once got to the checkout and realised I had only a cucumber and a tub of vasaline ...

nopuppiesallowed · 02/12/2023 20:45

I make sloe gin to give as presents. It's not for me as I prefer wine and rarely drink spirits. But when I bought 3 large bottles of gin in Tesco, I had such a knowing look from the lad on the till, I went to Asda when I needed an extra 2 bottles.

43ontherocksporfavor · 02/12/2023 20:50

@Maddy70 😂😂😂

NappiesAndBunFluff · 02/12/2023 21:00

George Michael, oh no! Haha

Coco1379 · 02/12/2023 21:19

Same happened to me in a card shop. The card I read “When you’re dancing with your honey and his nose is rather runny don’t think it’s very funny ‘cos it’s snot.”
I laughed so loud people were looking at me…

Ahwig · 02/12/2023 21:19

I'm nosy and always like to look in other peoples baskets/trollies to see if I'd like to have dinner at their place.
Yesterday a guy in front of me had 9 bottles of Guinness, 2 bottles of red wine, 6 bottles of Evian water, a bag of marmite flavoured nuts, a bundle of broccoli and 4 bags of washing soda. Nah, not fancying dinner there thanks 😂

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 02/12/2023 21:24

My best friend and I were 9nce behind a chain the queue at Tesco who had (and I kid you not) 3 Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodles, a tub of Vaseline and a pack of nappies. We still fanfic about that day...

Frances0911 · 02/12/2023 21:43

I sometimes do a weekly shopping in the morning for a friend who can't get out. They always ask for two bottles of wine. I always hide the wine, by covering it up in the trolley with my carrier bag. Then if I don't do self service, when the cashier asks if I'd like the receipt, I always say yes please I'm doing someone's shopping and they need the receipt.

I do think it's a bit strange that I feel the need to go to this effort, and to feel self conscious for buying alcohol, but maybe I'm not the only one.

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 02/12/2023 21:47

One of my exes once went to Boots just to get condoms and black small women’s tights (required uniform at our shared choir rehearsals). With most things I’ve learned to overcome shame but I do wonder exactly how that went for him.

Lorrainedrops · 02/12/2023 21:54

Could be worse, I've had a customer come through my till with a cucumber 🥒 squirty cream and lube 😆

Sodullincomparison · 02/12/2023 22:03

I once absent mindedly loaded my shopping on the conveyor belt without looking in front of me. When I looked up, two married ( not to each other) members of my team were buying a nice dinner for two to have together.

we all just nodded and said bye ( rather than hello or a chat). Now that made me laugh as I walked out of the supermarket.

Dogmademedoit · 02/12/2023 22:55

😂😂😂classy!