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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have laughed out loud in Tesco

145 replies

Sallystruthers · 01/12/2023 13:49

After putting the tree up last night I nipped to Tesco to grab a bottle of wine to toast the start of the festive season. Whilst in there I decided to grab something for breakfast…

Then I realised I was walking around with wine and sausages and other customers MUST be thinking “oooh she’s got a good weekend planned with her wine and sausages!” and chortled out loud to myself.

Wanted to explain myself to the cashier but felt the retelling of a mumsnet thread would not be of interest to them at the end of the shift.

Sometimes the best threads just come back to you at the most inopportune moments 😀

OP posts:
Verv · 01/12/2023 17:23

I WFH from my dad's house during the week to both keep an eye on him and to be his literal eyes as he went blind during covid.

Hes still very active though and hosts a few U3A Meetings (university of the third age, pensioner gatherings) every week.

He sends me to the co-op to stock up on biscuits while im out walking the dog in the morning as "youre going past anyway"
I get an armful of tunnocks caramels, foxes crunch, clubs, wagon wheels, whatever and a pack of digestives cos "Jean only likes those ones."

Every fucking time I used to awkwardly explain that they're for an ongoing collection of visiting pensioners and NOT ME because a fat lass with a mountain of biscuits can really only lead to one conclusion.

We're at the point now where the woman at the till singsongs "FER YER DAAAAAAAAA" at me every time I go in there.

User0000009 · 01/12/2023 17:24

Years ago my sister queued at the till with a box of tampons and a kitchen knife 😳

WestwardHo1 · 01/12/2023 17:33

youveturnedupwelldone · 01/12/2023 14:08

My friend was buying booze for a party so she just had tonnes of wine, beer and spirits in her trolley. She didn't want the cashier to think she was an alcoholic so she added a lettuce.

This made me laugh way more than it should have done 😂

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 01/12/2023 17:35

Is your Tesco near the Sistine Chapel OP?

NiceParkingSpotRitaThanksJanet · 01/12/2023 17:35

Haha I always feel like this if I'm buying any phallic vegetables! I didn't realise it was a common thing!

Zebedee55 · 01/12/2023 17:38

I never look at what other people are buying…😗

Withsleighbellson · 01/12/2023 17:42

I'm nosey so I do look at what other people buy.

Best one was:
Vodka, shit loads of gin, beer and one tiny packet of hamburger cheese slices.

@Squidwardthesnail 🤣

Jeannie88 · 01/12/2023 17:46

I don't think anyone notices anything anymore but always nice to have a little personal chortle.

GoingDownLikeBHS · 01/12/2023 18:00

I was with DD then aged about 12 buying food for a kids "cinema" themed birthday party so hot dogs, ice cream, popcorn, brightly coloured fizz etc that I would serve as if it was a cinema snack counter (ifyswim). OMG the woman in front of me nearly had a saintly fit, she had her own daughter similar age with her and kept commenting on childhood obesity etc.

Original poster
Sallystruthers · 01/12/2023 18:00

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 01/12/2023 17:35

Is your Tesco near the Sistine Chapel OP?

Sadly no, and I wasn’t T-rexing either 😉

OP posts:
Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 01/12/2023 18:01

Many years ago my DH was buying a few bits, milk bread etc and saw a erotic book with my name and his job, like 'Doris and the dentist' so he decided to buy it for a laugh. But when he got to the till and remembered he was also buying a packet of condoms he got so embarrassed and couldn't buy both so he chose the condoms and just hid the book somewhere near. I've always wondered if the book was any good!!

Lifeomars · 01/12/2023 18:02

GreenhouseGarden · 01/12/2023 14:35

I once bumped into my son’s teacher with vodka, coke and cucumber in the trolley. I’d forgotten to buy them the first time round Tesco.

I managed not to point out that the cucumber was for the g&t that was already in the car.

Something similar happened to me, I bumped into my child's teacher in the supermarket and all I had in my basket was a pair of black lacy knickers and a bottle of vodka and yes they were for a special weekend!

Lifeomars · 01/12/2023 18:06

HeadChog · 01/12/2023 15:33

I once found a handwritten shopping list in the bottom of a basket; it said:
cotton wool
chilli powder
condoms
razor blades

I thought, that person must have been into some specialist shit.

i love finding random shopping lists in my trolley, best one was this:

Toffees
Gin
Lottery tickets

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 01/12/2023 18:09

Cba to read the full thread. Cashiers are like doctors, they see silly things or unhappily necessary things day in day out.

i wouldn’t begrudge them a laugh about my purchases.

My nana used to order only the heavy items from Ocado. In her case it was six bottles of whisky and three large sacks of cat litter. She never minded!

Iateallllllthepies · 01/12/2023 18:10

Verv · 01/12/2023 17:23

I WFH from my dad's house during the week to both keep an eye on him and to be his literal eyes as he went blind during covid.

Hes still very active though and hosts a few U3A Meetings (university of the third age, pensioner gatherings) every week.

He sends me to the co-op to stock up on biscuits while im out walking the dog in the morning as "youre going past anyway"
I get an armful of tunnocks caramels, foxes crunch, clubs, wagon wheels, whatever and a pack of digestives cos "Jean only likes those ones."

Every fucking time I used to awkwardly explain that they're for an ongoing collection of visiting pensioners and NOT ME because a fat lass with a mountain of biscuits can really only lead to one conclusion.

We're at the point now where the woman at the till singsongs "FER YER DAAAAAAAAA" at me every time I go in there.

My dad has dementia and his only pleasure left in life is eating a constant supply of biscuits and cakes in his room.

He also goes through phases of just crushing up packs aa time, so each month, I do him a huge stock up and spend £60-£70 on biscuits, kit kats, cake bars etc in Adli. Just a small trolley full of sheer crap.

The looks I got when I was overweight 🤣 They’ve stopped now I’m slimmer.

Iateallllllthepies · 01/12/2023 18:12

Anyone else remember all the mumsnet found shopping list threads of days gone by? It was a massive thing years ago.

Autumnleavesarefallingdownagain · 01/12/2023 18:13

NonPlayerCharacter · 01/12/2023 14:51

Ah, thank you!

I'd have understood if she'd been buying Kleenex, lube and cucumbers, but wine and sausages seemed pretty tame! Even if you were thinking of filth, the sausages would need to be frozen and you'd want to work fast...

Show quote history

😂

timeforacoffeebreak · 01/12/2023 18:13

Oh my gosh there was a previous thread a couple months back of a woman who was beating herself up for saying something along those lines.. to a man she saw buying wine and sausages 🤣🤣 she didn't mean it in a crude way, but it was eating her up that she said it!! Brilliant !

43ontherocksporfavor · 01/12/2023 18:15

I don’t get why sausages and wine are embarrassing.

burnoutbabe · 01/12/2023 18:16

I think shopping retailer gurus do say put beer near nappies.

Man sent out as emergency to get nappies as running out. Often easily tempted by a beer offer!

AlwaysGinPlease · 01/12/2023 18:20

FreshWinterMorning · 01/12/2023 13:53

Ummm, no. I would not thing anything of someone buying wine and sausages.

What a strange thread. Confused

Also another thread about wine and sausages too

theemmadilemma · 01/12/2023 19:36

DH was chuckling the other as he left with a bottle of wine, a cigar and a bouquet of rainbow 🌈 dipped flowers. 😆

WhamBamThankU · 01/12/2023 19:37

I once bought (an accidentally HUMONGOUS) cucumber and a bottle of Prosecco at Tesco.

WhichIsItWendy · 01/12/2023 19:40

Sauvblanctime · 01/12/2023 13:59

Thought I had read about wine and sausages before! Come on OP, try harder.

porridgeisbae · 01/12/2023 19:55

@Sallystruthers Make sure you cook the sausages before you use them for anything. Wink