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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have laughed out loud in Tesco

145 replies

Sallystruthers · 01/12/2023 13:49

After putting the tree up last night I nipped to Tesco to grab a bottle of wine to toast the start of the festive season. Whilst in there I decided to grab something for breakfast…

Then I realised I was walking around with wine and sausages and other customers MUST be thinking “oooh she’s got a good weekend planned with her wine and sausages!” and chortled out loud to myself.

Wanted to explain myself to the cashier but felt the retelling of a mumsnet thread would not be of interest to them at the end of the shift.

Sometimes the best threads just come back to you at the most inopportune moments 😀

OP posts:
followmyflow · 01/12/2023 15:27

in the spirit of the original thread, remembering a time i put my foot in it, when i used to work in a big shop in the lingerie section, a man once came in an asked me where the suspenders were. i looked at him and said "erm, have you tried the mens?" he looked at me right back and said "they're not for me." it was then that i realised he meant stocking suspenders and not the ones that attach to your trousers...

Headshoulderscheeseontoast · 01/12/2023 15:29

What exactly were you going to do with raw sausages? I'm intrigued now

ilovepixie · 01/12/2023 15:29

I once served a man buying baby oil, condoms and rubber gloves!

Babyroobs · 01/12/2023 15:32

FreshWinterMorning · 01/12/2023 13:53

Ummm, no. I would not thing anything of someone buying wine and sausages.

What a strange thread. Confused

maybe op has already consumed the wine when she started the thread?

HeadChog · 01/12/2023 15:33

I once found a handwritten shopping list in the bottom of a basket; it said:
cotton wool
chilli powder
condoms
razor blades

I thought, that person must have been into some specialist shit.

Foreversmores · 01/12/2023 15:34

Sauvblanctime · 01/12/2023 14:09

A lettuce 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

A LETTUCE, ONE LETTUCE , phew my pelvic floor exercises are working 😂😂

Frazzledandfried · 01/12/2023 15:35

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/12/2023 14:44

Is your sister the one who posted this on MN not that long ago? That's why this OP has quoted it. Many commentators here haven't read the thread so didn't get the humour in this post!!

Show quote history

No, she's not a MNer and it happened a long time ago!

CustardySergeant · 01/12/2023 15:39

youveturnedupwelldone · 01/12/2023 14:08

My friend was buying booze for a party so she just had tonnes of wine, beer and spirits in her trolley. She didn't want the cashier to think she was an alcoholic so she added a lettuce.

That's very funny! 🤣

Giggorata · 01/12/2023 15:41

We had not long moved into a village and I was in the village shop. A woman was buying lots of fizzy drinks, crisps and biscuits, so I said “Oh, having a party?”
She looked at me and said no in a surprised tone.
I later found out that she was the mother of ten children.

Sauvblanctime · 01/12/2023 15:41

Foreversmores · 01/12/2023 15:34

A LETTUCE, ONE LETTUCE , phew my pelvic floor exercises are working 😂😂

Show quote history

I am crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sauvblanctime · 01/12/2023 15:42

HeadChog · 01/12/2023 15:33

I once found a handwritten shopping list in the bottom of a basket; it said:
cotton wool
chilli powder
condoms
razor blades

I thought, that person must have been into some specialist shit.

Hey, don’t kink shame 😜😜😜

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 01/12/2023 15:45

In my Sainsbury’s online shop recently there’s been no cucumbers… and when I went in store to a huge Tesco there were none either! I have cucumber batons with lunch or with dips every day as a healthy snack.

When I went to the local shops and walked the only places which had them were Budgens and Co Op. the latter were cheaper. I didn’t need anything else so got hummus and cheese Ritz biscuits as well. Hope they didn’t think I was a deviant!

Swimaway9 · 01/12/2023 15:45

youveturnedupwelldone · 01/12/2023 14:08

My friend was buying booze for a party so she just had tonnes of wine, beer and spirits in her trolley. She didn't want the cashier to think she was an alcoholic so she added a lettuce.

🤣🤣🤣

Ofcourseshecan · 01/12/2023 15:51

I’m sitting on a long-distance train trying not wet myself laughing at this thread.

I started trying to tell my husband about David and his door-knob (on the earlier thread that’s linked above) but suddenly realised other passengers could hear. So I finished lamely by saying “and, uh, she couldn’t get the door open”.

He’s wondering why I found that funny. The other passengers probably think I’m mentally challenged ….

Allfur · 01/12/2023 15:52

Giggorata, crisps biscuits and fizzy drinks are more on the party food side of things rather than regular diet, so I would have thought the same

LuvSmallDogs · 01/12/2023 15:57

It always amuses me when people get funny over what a cashier has seen them buy - such as a boozy party shop + baby stuff. That's really not uncommon, and cashiers only take note of your booze consumption if you become an alcoholic regular who makes a nuisance of themselves. In the nicest way possible, they don't care.

You might catch a teenager new to the job looking a bit "omg" over selling condoms/tena pads etc if it's their first time doing it, but they'll soon get over it.

And (because it's something female friends and family have been worried about) I have never heard of or overheard a male teenager being amused or nasty about anyone buying pads or tampons from them.

ClaribelLowLieth · 01/12/2023 16:09

Awww - this level of lameness reminds me of the mumsnet of old.

Original poster
Sallystruthers · 01/12/2023 16:13

Ofcourseshecan · 01/12/2023 15:51

I’m sitting on a long-distance train trying not wet myself laughing at this thread.

I started trying to tell my husband about David and his door-knob (on the earlier thread that’s linked above) but suddenly realised other passengers could hear. So I finished lamely by saying “and, uh, she couldn’t get the door open”.

He’s wondering why I found that funny. The other passengers probably think I’m mentally challenged ….

😂 perhaps it gets lost in translation but David and his stiff knob just ends my ability to talk… that and the woman who told her manager she was tired after being “turned on all day” among many others 😂😂😂😂

Hope you manage to stifle the giggles on the train

OP posts:
Openskeptic · 01/12/2023 16:25

I once bought six bottles of red wine and a chainsaw in Lidl. Nothing else.

Iateallllllthepies · 01/12/2023 16:29

My friend worked in the Co Op when we were young and she swore she served our old form tutor buying a cucumber, vaseline and condoms.

25 years later she’s still pissed off that none of us believe her.

whatausername · 01/12/2023 16:43

Openskeptic · 01/12/2023 16:25

I once bought six bottles of red wine and a chainsaw in Lidl. Nothing else.

That's some daring gardening.

Squidwardthesnail · 01/12/2023 17:02

When I worked in retail, 2 of my more memorable ones were a gentleman buying a litre of smirnoff and a pineapple, nothing else. And a young man buying flowers, lube, condoms and a "sorry" card. That lad clearly had a lot of faith in that apology card.

Alohapotato · 01/12/2023 17:06

What a waste of time reading this post..

porridgeisbae · 01/12/2023 17:07

I have bought things like four bags of Twirl bites, crisps multipack, two bottles of wine and some cans of lager at the Spar. "Good night planned?" commented the assistant.

I had one at a garage ask 'have you got the munchies?' once .Grin

Highlyflavouredgravy · 01/12/2023 17:16

All the people saying mean things about the thread when they don't understand and can't be bothered reading the link. It's so strange. I wonder if in real life, they are mean to people who talk about things they don't understand.