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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you believe in Mediums?

271 replies

Snowballs138 · 30/11/2023 14:11

Some years ago I went (very sceptically) with a friend to see a well renowned Medium. I had waited almost 2 years to see her. I booked the appointment via telephone on a withheld number. I Gave only my first name which isn't unusual and no other information.
As I say, I was a very sceptical and pretty much a non- beleiver, but just went along with a friend to see what it was all about and a giggle. I had previously lost my husband quite young in a very unusual way. The woman seemed to know a lot about this and even specified that it was abroad, an accident and he was surrounded by water, which he was 🤯 she then went on to say he was with her and was trying to tell her a nickname he used to call me so that I would believe he was there. I was completely confused as I couldn't remember any nicknames that he had for me (non to my knowledge). So this is where I had her, or so I thought! I said no, there has never been a nickname. He never called me anything other than my Christian name. She then said she would give me the first letter of the nickname. I just looked at her blankly and said no. She then shot out the nickname and I was completely and utterly blindsided. It was a ridiculous name. I won't say it on here because it's embarrassing and silly 🤣 but it's something in humour that he used to call me when it was just the two of us (and very unusual/not guessable for her AT ALL). I had totally and utterly forgotten about it. So how could she have known this if even I had forgotten and absolutely nobody else knew? I've never to this day been able to understand how she could know. She also went on to say several other things were that were outstandingly accurate and things that nobody else could possibly have known, for example I was in the middle of a private dental claim which she said was legal (I was) and that I would receive a substantial payout very soon (I did). She told my friend she was pregnant (she was, 6 weeks, but had told nobody bar her DH) This one visit to this Medium changed my entire belief system regarding mediums and the spirit world which I never thought would be possible. Has anyone else had similar experiences?

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 03/12/2023 17:35

Anisette · 03/12/2023 17:22

Derren Browne has explained exactly how this sort of trick is done. I can't remember the details, but I'm prepared to bet that either he had planted the idea of those words in your mind beforehand, or he had heard some conversation around you about that.

This is I think how it works when you are told how many children you’ll have or that you will marry someone with the initial C or whatever. Isn’t it bound to influence your behaviour when you actually meet people with the initial C, even subconsciously?

LylaLee · 03/12/2023 17:40

Anisette · 03/12/2023 17:28

Well, exactly. If mediums with power to communicate with the dead existed, we would know where all the Moors murderers' victims were buried, what happened to Lord Lucan, whether Lee Harvey Oswald was working on his own, and the answer to many other mysteries. Yet, strangely, even though that sort of work could only enhance a medium's reputation, none of them seem to be up for doing it.

Why not claim one of the million dollar prizes for proving the supernatural? And if the medium with the gift 'is not allowed to profit' they can use the money they get to set up a sanctuary for blind hedgehogs or whatever.

Gettingbysomehow · 03/12/2023 17:46

All the mediums I've been to see have talked about utter banalities: Uncle Robert sees that you've had a washing machine delivered and so on.
i want to know the meaning of life from Uncle Robert thank you but he never seems to want to talk about anything like that.

Frabbits · 03/12/2023 17:55

People who claim to be psychic are always 1 of 2 things:

Deluded.
Frauds.

That's it.

IAcceptCookies · 03/12/2023 18:37

My Granny used to read tea leaves.
Back in the early eighties (I was about 12) she said to me I'd marry a man with the first initial J, and I'd have 5 children. Both came true.
Was she psychic or clairvoyant, or have some sort of "gift"? No, of course not. And nor did she claim to.

PP are correct: mediums are either fraudsters or deluded.

purplehair1 · 04/12/2023 06:58

I think some mediums might be real but many are con artists. I had a very shocking tarot card reading once which was spot on.

WatchOutMissMarpleIsAbout · 04/12/2023 07:07

Any recommendations for one please? Want to know what’s in store this next couple of years if possible.

Stopvapingwithme · 04/12/2023 07:10

I used to be very sceptical but I went to see one after my Dad died & she knew something about the day he died that I had never told a soul, not even my Mum. So that changed my mind. I have no doubt there are some scammers out there but I also believe there are a few who truly have a gift.

notafruit · 04/12/2023 08:03

KimberleyClark · 03/12/2023 12:36

I'm aware of cold reading so wasn't overly impressed with what she was saying, until she went on to my future. She said some seriously specific things, all of which are on tape. It all came true. She predicted how and where I would meet my husband, and how many children we would have. She even mentioned the colour of the living room walls. Absolutely bizarre. I have no explanation.

Do you think you could have subconsciously made her predictions come true?

No. I already had plans for an event, which she described, but said I would have met a partner by then. I was single and hoping to find a boyfriend at the time, but I didn't meet anyone until literally a week before. And there is no way I could of made the predictions of the sex of my children come true. The colour of the walls was the colour when we moved into the house.

LylaLee · 04/12/2023 08:11

The colour of the walls was the colour when we got the house

But you weren't issued a house by the communist government. Unless it was a company issued house then you chose it. You viewed several either online or in person. Some people are influenced by ' oh, it's near a good school', 'its walking distance to the station.' 'It matches where the fortune teller said we will live.'

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 04/12/2023 08:53

Stopvapingwithme · 04/12/2023 07:10

I used to be very sceptical but I went to see one after my Dad died & she knew something about the day he died that I had never told a soul, not even my Mum. So that changed my mind. I have no doubt there are some scammers out there but I also believe there are a few who truly have a gift.

She didn't know. She said a load of vague stuff and you fitted one of the things she said to your own life.

Draoicht · 04/12/2023 08:58

LylaLee · 04/12/2023 08:11

The colour of the walls was the colour when we got the house

But you weren't issued a house by the communist government. Unless it was a company issued house then you chose it. You viewed several either online or in person. Some people are influenced by ' oh, it's near a good school', 'its walking distance to the station.' 'It matches where the fortune teller said we will live.'

Exactly. And the ‘psychic’ telling someone who was actively on the look out for a relationship in the run up to an event they wanted to bring a date to that they would have found someone by the event is very likely to influence their decisions!

God, people are gullible.

Georgeandzippyzoo · 04/12/2023 09:11

Im curious, interested, but a believer....? No. Recently went with family as a bit of fun, Im not looking for any validation etc. Booked by DSis who has no social media, only her name given. There were a few things that I did think were interesting, some really spot on and 'how did she know that' but others were general .
However when my other DSis.went in our 'mam' gave 2 words, an animal and an object (which I wont post on here for outing other family might be on here) but think as bizarre as iguana and trapeze. Now these 2 words literally have 100% meaning for our family, noone, and I really mean noone, could come up with it by chance.

So that does make me wonder how she got that. I know they read people etc but there is no way you could give either of the words away they are just so random.
I would need some sort of complete info only I know in order to believe. My DM had a very unique name. Never met anyone else with it. That would be interesting to hear.

Draoicht · 04/12/2023 09:22

Georgeandzippyzoo · 04/12/2023 09:11

Im curious, interested, but a believer....? No. Recently went with family as a bit of fun, Im not looking for any validation etc. Booked by DSis who has no social media, only her name given. There were a few things that I did think were interesting, some really spot on and 'how did she know that' but others were general .
However when my other DSis.went in our 'mam' gave 2 words, an animal and an object (which I wont post on here for outing other family might be on here) but think as bizarre as iguana and trapeze. Now these 2 words literally have 100% meaning for our family, noone, and I really mean noone, could come up with it by chance.

So that does make me wonder how she got that. I know they read people etc but there is no way you could give either of the words away they are just so random.
I would need some sort of complete info only I know in order to believe. My DM had a very unique name. Never met anyone else with it. That would be interesting to hear.

But you weren’t actually there when the medium said the two meaningful words, right? Honestly, it’s perfectly possible your sister ‘helped’ her to the words, possibly entirely unconsciously, and only remembers the correct guesses. That’s what most people do, forget or discount the incorrect stuff and seize on what little seems relevant.

Frabbits · 04/12/2023 09:28

WatchOutMissMarpleIsAbout · 04/12/2023 07:07

Any recommendations for one please? Want to know what’s in store this next couple of years if possible.

Just spend the money on some lovely wine or something. You'll have just as much chance as seeing the future and you aren't giving money to a complete con artist.

WatchOutMissMarpleIsAbout · 04/12/2023 09:31

But it’s my money and if I want to spend it to get some peace then it’s up to me. I have enough with the family and dh moaning about me wasting my money!! 😁

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 04/12/2023 09:50

Draoicht · 04/12/2023 09:22

But you weren’t actually there when the medium said the two meaningful words, right? Honestly, it’s perfectly possible your sister ‘helped’ her to the words, possibly entirely unconsciously, and only remembers the correct guesses. That’s what most people do, forget or discount the incorrect stuff and seize on what little seems relevant.

This. Plus I suspect a lot of us have things that seem obscure to us but are actually very common. Like 25% of couples call each other panda or somesuch. Cold readers would know those things - it's literally their job.

People say "the medium knew". I bet if we watched the video of the encounter the medium just said some vague stuff and the punter made it fit their lives.

For instance, myself reading the "examples" in this thread. So many of these statements are hits for me. Uniform, key number three, someone moving. "PM". I think it's all nonsense and I've still been finding myself thinking "God, is someone getting in touch via the thread." I've already forgotten all the stuff that wasn't a hit. These general statements that feel specific are really compelling. That's why cold reading works!

Draoicht · 04/12/2023 09:57

WatchOutMissMarpleIsAbout · 04/12/2023 09:31

But it’s my money and if I want to spend it to get some peace then it’s up to me. I have enough with the family and dh moaning about me wasting my money!! 😁

But you’ve zero guarantee of ‘getting peace’! Madam Zelda and her crystal ball/tarot cards or whatever aren’t a security blanket.

The one time I went to see a ‘psychic’ with my sisters was in 1996, when I was at a very low point in my life, for various reasons including recovering from an accident that had had me on crutches for months, having to move back into my parents’ house, being unemployed etc. I went in with two specific questions about my own future (to which I desperately wanted the answers to be yes). I got a firm ‘no’ to both.

The thing is, this ‘psychic’ thought she was telling me a great future, because she assumed a glum-looking 24 year old woman was going to be concerned about relationships and babies, because that was her demographic.

In fact, I was entirely concerned with postgraduate studies overseas (I was applying for doctoral fellowships) and that just wasn’t something on her radar.

So she thought she was giving me a great future in saying I was never going to live abroad or study again, but was going to move in with my boyfriend, and she ‘saw a ring’ and a blue baby blanket within the next year, and I would ‘open a little business’ from home.

Instead of which I won a major international scholarship, did two more degrees overseas, lived abroad for decades working in a professional career for which my studies qualified me.

LylaLee · 04/12/2023 10:09

@Draoicht

That's why it is not 'a bit of fun'. Some people will actively or subconsciously choose the things predicted for them. Be it the colour of walls or 'name starting with C'.(Given the UK names and surnames, there's a very good chance of a C name).

I mean 'this town is significant to your family.' There's going to be a grandparent from there, who worked or visited there, had a parent from there themselves. Most people have a connection to most places if you look hard enough.

The saddest are those who 'go to join' their loved one.

cerisepanther73 · 04/12/2023 10:21

@GreenIsMyFavoriteColour

Have you ever seen a medium/pyschic before ?

Just cause your sceptical about stuff like that,

there still things that we don't know our planet earth, mysterious yet to be discovered
for example the ocean and other things,

in medieval times there was an italian individual called Leonardo de Vinche who drew images that were a prototype helicopter,
how was he able to draw images like that,
when there wasn't anything like that about in those times,

How did anybody before space exploration ever happen,
amagine that it was could be possible to do so to achieve this?

How did back in history ancient times and beyond ,
did different cultures around the world develop medicinal knowledge about that some plants were beneficial for them in various ways in the first place?

How do dowzers who discover water sites, and minerals do this?

How do you or anybody know,
if someone is dodgy no good for you on a first date if you don't know that person that well then?

How can you tell if you are entering into a potential situation that could be harmful to you in some, way emotionally, psychological, or sexually ?

How can you tell if you are in a outdoor market in a busy place abroad, in a country you have never been to before,
that you could be at risk of being mugged by someone?

whithout checking up first on Google Internet that it's a 🔥 hot spot for this kind of crime ?
or
whithout knowing asking, about this infor knowledge from elsewhere family or friends ,travel agency?

How do male or female spy's intelligence do their work in uk and abroad in potential dangerous situations,
on assignments ect?

ElsieMc · 04/12/2023 11:11

@Draoicht Wow, thanks for putting me right in such a lovely, caring manner. Glad you are here to police, correct and put us lesser mortals right in such a cold, superior, patronising, nasty way. Christ almighty what a ray of sunshine you are. The very worst of MN nasty posters.

LylaLee · 04/12/2023 11:25

cerisepanther73 · 04/12/2023 10:21

@GreenIsMyFavoriteColour

Have you ever seen a medium/pyschic before ?

Just cause your sceptical about stuff like that,

there still things that we don't know our planet earth, mysterious yet to be discovered
for example the ocean and other things,

in medieval times there was an italian individual called Leonardo de Vinche who drew images that were a prototype helicopter,
how was he able to draw images like that,
when there wasn't anything like that about in those times,

How did anybody before space exploration ever happen,
amagine that it was could be possible to do so to achieve this?

How did back in history ancient times and beyond ,
did different cultures around the world develop medicinal knowledge about that some plants were beneficial for them in various ways in the first place?

How do dowzers who discover water sites, and minerals do this?

How do you or anybody know,
if someone is dodgy no good for you on a first date if you don't know that person that well then?

How can you tell if you are entering into a potential situation that could be harmful to you in some, way emotionally, psychological, or sexually ?

How can you tell if you are in a outdoor market in a busy place abroad, in a country you have never been to before,
that you could be at risk of being mugged by someone?

whithout checking up first on Google Internet that it's a 🔥 hot spot for this kind of crime ?
or
whithout knowing asking, about this infor knowledge from elsewhere family or friends ,travel agency?

How do male or female spy's intelligence do their work in uk and abroad in potential dangerous situations,
on assignments ect?

I'm going to take the time to respond to this.

There's this guy called James Randi. He trained as an entertainer and a magician. Then he got pissed off seeing psychics using the tricks to con people and he made it his career to show people how they were doing it.

For many years he had a fund. It offered one million dollars to anyone who could prove ANYTHING supernatural. Moving things with your mind etc. It was never claimed.

The reason he tried to educate people is because ignorance makes people vulnerable to fraudsters.

Just cause your sceptical about stuff like that, there still things that we don't know our planet earth, mysterious yet to be discovered for example the ocean and other things.

Absolutely. No one disagrees.

in medieval times

Renaissance

there was an italian individual called Leonardo de Vinche who drew images that were a prototype helicopter, how was he able to draw images like that, when there wasn't anything like that about in those times?

Are you suggesting ghosts and spirits told him what to draw?

He was a polymath. There were and are many such people. Their inventiveness has led to the Inventions we are surrounded by today. It's not magic. It's science.

How did anybody before space exploration ever happen, amagine that it was could be possible to do so to achieve this?

Yes, people imagined storms were the gods fighting. Little by little, with science people gathered together knowledge to make things like space travel possible.

How did back in history ancient times and beyond, did different cultures around the world develop medicinal knowledge about that some plants were beneficial for them in various ways in the first place?

Through trial and error. Just like today. Are you suggesting it was magical?

How do dowzers who discover water sites, and minerals do this?

Go on Snopes.

*How do you or anybody know,

if someone is dodgy no good for you on a first date if you don't know that person that well then?*

Look up John Gottman and micro expressions. Sometimes when a person lies, they give a tiny smile. It's called 'duper's delight'. It lasts only a fraction of a second. Too short to consciously register it, but you 'know something is not right '.

The same for someone who has contempt for you. They give tiny sneers. You don't have a list of 'he rolled his eyes for a fraction of a second.' You just 'know he's dodgy.'

It's not magic.

How can you tell if you are entering into a potential situation that could be harmful to you in some, way emotionally, psychological, or sexually ?

The same way. You might notice it is quieter than usual. The person is sweating. They are breathing faster. The pulse in their neck is fast. Your conscious mind might not be able to list all the things but you get the message 'something is not right.'

Read the book 'the gift of fear'. It explains a lot about this.

*How can you tell if you are in a outdoor market in a busy place abroad, in a country you have never been to before,

that you could be at risk of being mugged by someone? whithout checking up first on Google Internet that it's a 🔥 hot spot for this kind of crime ? or whithout knowing asking, about this infor knowledge from elsewhere family or friends ,travel agency*

Same as above.

How do male or female spy's intelligence do their work in uk and abroad in potential dangerous situations, on assignments ect?

They are trained to notice consciously the things we automatically register subconsciously.

There is a huge leap from 'there are things we don't understand' to 'dead people send us messages which we can pay to listen to'.

cerisepanther73 · 04/12/2023 11:45

@LylaLee

That's interesting you mentioned the gift of Fear book ,
i have heard about it,

what i am talking about being inuitive the ability to be able to notice things that are not obvious,

being inuitive which potentially everyone has got,
is a Primeval survival instinct to protect us from potential harm whatever way or form it can be,

It's Primeval survival instinct that has helped us to protect since humans walked planet earth since ancient times,

the animal kingdom also has the same ability to protect themselves from predators,
Just like humans have the same ability

KimberleyClark · 04/12/2023 11:46

Draoicht · 04/12/2023 09:57

But you’ve zero guarantee of ‘getting peace’! Madam Zelda and her crystal ball/tarot cards or whatever aren’t a security blanket.

The one time I went to see a ‘psychic’ with my sisters was in 1996, when I was at a very low point in my life, for various reasons including recovering from an accident that had had me on crutches for months, having to move back into my parents’ house, being unemployed etc. I went in with two specific questions about my own future (to which I desperately wanted the answers to be yes). I got a firm ‘no’ to both.

The thing is, this ‘psychic’ thought she was telling me a great future, because she assumed a glum-looking 24 year old woman was going to be concerned about relationships and babies, because that was her demographic.

In fact, I was entirely concerned with postgraduate studies overseas (I was applying for doctoral fellowships) and that just wasn’t something on her radar.

So she thought she was giving me a great future in saying I was never going to live abroad or study again, but was going to move in with my boyfriend, and she ‘saw a ring’ and a blue baby blanket within the next year, and I would ‘open a little business’ from home.

Instead of which I won a major international scholarship, did two more degrees overseas, lived abroad for decades working in a professional career for which my studies qualified me.

This. Most mediums tend to assume their clients are mainly interested in marriage and babies. You’d think that if a client was firmly childfree by choice they would know!

Draoicht · 04/12/2023 11:49

ElsieMc · 04/12/2023 11:11

@Draoicht Wow, thanks for putting me right in such a lovely, caring manner. Glad you are here to police, correct and put us lesser mortals right in such a cold, superior, patronising, nasty way. Christ almighty what a ray of sunshine you are. The very worst of MN nasty posters.

Why the aggression? You said to explain what the ‘psychic’ said to you. I simply said that a reference to a man in uniform and ‘turning the key at number three’ are entirely generic, and the question about ‘X’ was just that, a question.