To ask how you managed raising a child on a lower income?

[Givealittlerespecttome]

Everyone will have a totally different idea as to what a lower income is, but just wondered if anyone here has raised a child/children without 2 parents on high salaries and without let's say a very large amount of savings etc? Just wondered how did you manage and did you receive a lot of support?

I would imagine more people raise their child/ren on average/low income/s than raise them on high ones. I raised mine through periods of very low income and through my ex-DH's bankruptcy. There was no support from family we just lived with what we had, there were no holidays, days out were days to places that were free, lots of food was yellow stickered and clothing etc was often secondhand but we made it through. The kids have grown up to be decent human beings who are doing well in life.

Clarify Low.

Remember people expand their outgoing as their income increases. More expensive housing, cars, gyms Holidays etc.

I think from reading threads on here, it seems that people think you're irresponsible to even contemplate one child if you aren't earning 100k and with 3 years of savings in the bank (exaggerating but not that much)

I raised 2 (still am) 100% parent with no family. I earn circa £1400 a month, get £250 ish universal credit and £150 child benefit. No child maintenance from dad

My mortgage is £500, council tax £125, got knows what gas/elec will be but current dd is £160 and i dont qualify for free school dinners or council tax bens/free prescriptions. No credit available and a dmp.

Id be much better off renting and not working but here we are.

We dont do much that costs money. Go the park. Eat cooked from scratch, mostly veggy, second hand everything. We are still ok. Kids love to read and library and charity shop serve us well.
We dont have play stations or i pads etc. But we enjoy films.
We visit friends and they visit us. Rather than meet in restaurants/cafe etc.

I run a 20 year old car and try not to use it if we really dont have to.

My eldest loves drawing and painting and uses stuff he got for gifts. My youngest will play outside with a ball happy as larry. They honestly dont need much stuff. Things like pokemon go gets them out and enjoying themselves. They They walk our neighbours dogs and we also enjoy cooking and ive been teaching them stuff.

We struggle with repairs and unexpected bills, i dread the mot on the car. But we manage.

I’m a single parent, DD’s father isn’t on the birth certificate and has never met her so no financial support there. I have had a lot of help from my parents and other family members in buying baby equipment, clothes and things to furnish our flat and childcare whilst I work. Free items on Facebook marketplace were a godsend too. Without my family I have no idea how I could have done it, I’m incredibly lucky and grateful. I’m on low income but propped up by UC. My parents help with childcare while I work part time. Once DD is in nursery I’m going to study for a degree which will hopefully help our finances in the long run.

• Second hand clothes and shoes (mostly)
• Smaller gifts at Christmas/birthdays (no consoles/iPhones/£100 trainers)
• no/very rare paid days out, do free stuff instead
• no holidays

At least that's how we live, we've had to teach them not to lust after the latest flashy thing (eldest would love a switch for Christmas and it was on his list, but he's well aware it's not happening, he was given the option of a switch (lite, the one he wanted) and absolutely nothing else, or more cheaper gifts, he chose to have more cheaper things.

We do have some family support, my gran purchased our car when ours broke and wasn't worth fixing, that's a loan that we're paying back monthly and will take years to clear, my mum buys us heating oil most years and will lend emergency money here and there and will treat them to things that they want but don't necessarily need (like eldest Halloween costume this year, his one from the last 2 years still fit but he was desperate for a cool new one)

We get by and the kids are happy, clean, fed, clothed and seem content, I'd love to be able to give them more experiences and hope to be able to one day

I was a single mum on a low income. I cooked from scratch, didn’t have a car, we used libraries, parks, museums etc for entertainment. Lots if bus rides and walking too. Charity shops were my best friend. I also did ironing and mending for a friend who worked in M&S and she paid me in things that I needed.

Thanks for your answers. I think there are lots of ways to make things more frugal and a small baby doesn't notice whether they've got designer clothes on or things like that! I know childcare costs are mainly the issue but it sounds like things are going to be improving on that front (hopefully!)

We don't have many holidays (camping each year and occasional Premier Inn trips), charity shop clothes eked out with undies etc from Primark, most of our food is from the clearance section. We used a discount food reuse scheme for a while (£7 per week for several carrier bags of mixed food but you couldn't choose).

The biggest thing was me not working. When the children were tiny I'd have to have earnt at least £30k to make up for the loss of benefits and pay childcare costs, since we have zero family help. As they got older we realised then have SEN that mean they cannot access school without significant harm - and I'd have been called in often enough for meetings and exclusions that I'd have lost a job anyway. So we home educate too. Which is cheaper than the school/job/commute life.

We make a lot ourselves and our social group is mostly hippy types we met through home ed so consumerism isn't a pressure for us. Your kids won't want or expect expensive smartphones or designer clothes when all their friends are excited about sourcing vintage Lego and getting a timeshare in a sewing machine to make dolls clothes! We're doing a kids secret Santa this year with a fiver limit, but we've agreed that a book from the poundshop totally counts.

We're better off in the last couple of years thanks to inheritance, but I've not changed much. Except that the kids are getting better presents this Christmas, but still around £150 each bought over the year, and it's stuff that'll last (mostly Lego)

When my DC were young my dh earned what would be minimum wage jobs. There was no government help except for child benefit. There was income support but you could only really claim that if working part time. My Mum and sister looked after my DC so I could go back to work teaching. I would have struggled to afford child care. I was hugely grateful to my Mum and sister for caring for my DC. We had no holidays, no car nothing new, not even ice creams unless Grandparents paid for them. Any days out would be to the park. There were no mobile phones or satellite TV in those days.

That said, things were bad enough when DD was tiny that I'd pray she only did solid poos so I could hoik it out and not waste another nappy, and was seriously considering some unpleasant kink on only fans. It didn't get quite that far.

My parents raised me on a single low income (not in the UK) my mum stayed home and my dad had a low paid job as he didn't even finish primary school. There is no social security there so no tax credits, UC, food banks, charities or any support at all. My mum was a great home maker and always cooked from scratch including treats. We had lovely Christmas but not overly lavish (like kids these days) , we didn't go any paid outings or holidays, we spent time with family (cousins)mainly at my grans - that was a day of fun for us, meeting there, maybe going to the park ( my first time on a plane was for work when I turned 23), my dad was good at budgeting too and he owed his house outright and extended when money allowed it, so we didn't have a mortgage, he cycled to work, so no car expenses. I never had a mobile phone until I worked, we were really careful with money and only bought essential clothing etc. Plenty of food though, and even to share with family and neighbours. I don't know if it was more doable then than it is now.

Everything second hand. Had lots of lovely stuff in good nick. But NCT second hand sales were a thing then. But more local selling groups now.

Low cost enjoyment. Lots of cheap fun activities. Camping holidays but ‘back to basics’: our kids spent hours whittling sticks (had proper penknives from age 8), learning map reading, imagining they could track people and animals, etc.

Ate well cheaply. A bread maker supported cheap sandwiches all the way through school. Veg curries, never allowed them to get a taste for chicken breast rather than excellent value thighs with skin and bone. And so on.

We live in London so never paid for weekend outings (we had Travelcards / weekly Oyster fare for work , kids went free), museums, galleries, etc. With bread maker sandwiches in our bag, natch!

Once we were past the expensive childcare years the kids themselves weren’t that expensive to run.

We aren’t low earners but we do earn less than £100k combined. I’m part time, he is full time. We don’t get any benefits. Not a massive amount of savings. We have 5 kids- we really don’t go without. We take the kids away once or twice a year- taking them to Disney as part of Xmas, for example.

You prioritise whats important.
I earn £25k a year before tax and husband has not earned enough to pay tax since 2019. We bought a house that needed work in a very cheap area and spent time doing it up. We don’t spend money on holidays or outings. We buy groceries, pay bills and buy the kids clothes and shoes. Any money left goes to upgrading the house. We are lucky we have my parents who sometimes book outings for them and us together and who take us on holiday in the UK every year. As we wouldn’t go otherwise. My kids get less than £100 each at Christmas and about £50 each for birthdays. They don’t get iPads or new consoles but they do get presents they will really like and 2 loving parents in a stable family home. Compared to some round here we are well off, my sons friend lives with 2 siblings and 2 partners in a 2 bedroom council flat. We consider ourselves lucky to have our home and don’t miss expensive outings or meals out really

Same sort of outgoings here - single mum of 4. Work in a preschool so pretty much minimum wage. We don't go on holidays but do try and have days or in summer. Heating is on an absolute minimum. Limit of £50 for big Xmas presents. No expensive school trips. Had some savings from not going out during covid and still being able to work but that all went this year on getting the roof fixed. Any other major repairs/ redecorating just not happening!

Always gratefully accept 2nd hand clothes/ sports kits. Also eBay and Vinted are good for things like football boots. Have bought a lot of toys from charity shops/ Facebook market place in the past.

The children are fine with it and understand so never ask for anything expensive.

no family support. We just didn't have luxuries. Money went in bills and childcare. No holidays, no meals out, lot if second hand clothes and toys or hand me downs when DC was little. No car but endless hours on the bus yo get to nursery and work. it wasn't easy but doable. We didn't spend big on birthdays or Xmas. Limit was usually around £50 and we only bought for DC. At least we never went hungry unlike many poor families in today's COL crisis.

Credit card 😬

Wouldn’t recommend it though. But it’s kept us ‘comfortable’ and now I’ve gone full time I’m hoping we can start paying it all back.

I’ve always said if people waited til they could afford to have kids most would never have them.

Average salary is about £35k isn't it? I've not checked. So loads of people must on less than £100k household and raising kids. I think it's the basic outgoings that make a difference to how that feels, such as rent/mortgage cost and childcare.

Raised my son after divorce on my own with court ordered support from my ex,which took over a year to come through. Low paying job and at the time working tax credit. At that time i got no help with uniforms or school dinners and had to pay bus fares to get him to and from school. It was very hard but he got on every school trip and had everything he wanted,i wore the same knickers for years,i was lucky as i had family who went on summer holidays and i paid for him to go with them. Got myself into a lot of trouble with credit cards and had to remortgage my house to clear these,which off course knocked me back a lot of years. Hes married now and expecting his first baby and is a very kind and hard working man,it was worth every sleepless night,every football game i missed to raise such a man. Extremely hard but you will get there

We have a low (for Mumsnet) wage of just over £60k. I saved before our LO arrived last year and we get almost everything second hand. Toys, clothes etc. I take the baby to free play groups at churches or library when I'm not at work, or we feed the ducks or go to the park.

We cook from scratch as I'm DF/GF, and we buy a lot of frozen food, particularly vegetables. If we buy fresh meat, we bulk buy and then we portion it and freeze it.

We are comfortably off in my opinion, we manage several trips away a year and can buy the odd hot chocolate in Costa! DH and I buy second hand too, why waste £30 on a new jumper when you get get one in a charity shop for £5? It only goes to landfill. However I always try and get quality - wool coat, cashmere/silk jumpers etc.

My biggest expense is I have good leather soled shoes which need renewing, and dry cleaning my coats. Next year I'll start taking my suits to be ironed again and keep at work as I tend to cycle in.

Ive lived on the absolute breadline and managing things cost effectively is second nature now. Sometimes I think I could shop in M&S food but I'm shocked at the prices and refuse to spend that much!

Single parent of twin 6 year olds. Income under £20K.
The girls are still alive to tell the tale, so I'm guessing that's an indication that DC can be raised on a low income.

Oh, we both have Nokia phones on low contract (under £15/month), we bought our car outright, we have a log burner, we put lots of jumpers on! We also cycle a lot or walk places, so only refill the diesel once a month. We don't have iPads, LO doesn't have screens, DH and I have a laptop each. We pay for TV licence and two streaming services only. We tend to rotate them!
I still get fully comp car insurance, house insurance and travel insurance, oh and boiler insurance with an annual service. Makes financial sense.

I’d be interested to hear from those raising multiple teens on a low income. I found it relatively easy when they were little. Now they are teenagers it’s very, very hard.

People on low incomes get benefits to raise children. Surely, you know this, OP.