To ask how you managed raising a child on a lower income?

[Givealittlerespecttome]

Everyone will have a totally different idea as to what a lower income is, but just wondered if anyone here has raised a child/children without 2 parents on high salaries and without let's say a very large amount of savings etc? Just wondered how did you manage and did you receive a lot of support?

No holidays ever, not even camping. No days out. No restaurants. No new clothes. No parties. No cinema.

Cars are just money pits! We're on universal credit, I work 25 hours a week and last month our 16 year old car failed its MOT - it would have been £1200+ to fix it. We have no real savings though I have a small rainy day fund as we own our house and if something happens to the house we need something. Unfortunately the public transport is really bad in our area so we need a car to get dd15 to school 10 miles away. Our son in law said we could use his old car temporarily so picked it up from a couple of hundred miles away. It broke down the next day - £400 repair bill! Then the microwave went bang and I had the dentist ( no help as just over the limit) so more money out.
It's so stressful, dd15 is not getting much more than £20 spent on her this Christmas- and that includes her birthday a few days later. Luckily she's used to not having much. I wouldn't recommend it.

I feel the car pain - it was always my biggest dread as without a car I couldn’t work and it meant cheaper outings eg a park further away with a picnic just for a change
Even though I’m on a much higher income I still drive a 10 year old high mileage car and dread MOT time - this year it passed without work and I was so relieved

Cars are not essential for raising children

No holidays - ever. No car. Enough clothes but never particularly nice or fashionable. One pair of shoes, but always good properly fitted shoes. Very rare treats, no cinema visits, rarely went to the beach, free trips to the museum etc.. Little or no pocket money. Occasionally not enough money to buy food if there had been an emergency so had to make a meal out of whatever little bits were left in the freezer or food cupboard, not great. Always living up to the maximum overdraft. Christmas and birthday presents very carefully budgeted for.
Constant stress and worry, but my children were fed and clothed adequately, we had a roof over our heads, sufficient bedclothes, heating and hot water.

Single parent to 2 DC. I earn £20k pa and I have very little left over by the time bills, food etc all paid for. I have enough to get by just about, but things like the MOT are always a bit of a hold your breath and cross your fingers affair.

Facebook marketplace is great both for buying stuff and selling things on, especially for the kids toys/clothes.
My eldest is 6 and he is starting to become a lot more aware of what his friends have (holidays, iPads, football strips, musical instruments etc.) and what he doesn't. He is asking to have music lessons and football training and martial arts etc etc which does tug my heartstrings to have to say no all the time. It is hard, but I know a lot of people have it far harder.

I don't spend much on myself at all. I probably get my hair done once a year and I can't remember the last time I bought new clothes. I've never been that into high fashion or beauty treatments so I'm not missing anything.

My parents help out with childcare twice a week. I have a caravan holiday once a year with my DC and my sibling's family. We live rurally and spend a lot of time outside in parks and woods and farms which all helps.

I've raised my dd on my own, earned between 20-25k a year.

I was v savvy with money, kept outgoings low, cheap car, bought second hand furniture, clothes, toys etc.

I always tried to save a bit each month and I'm lucky that my mum would help me out if I was really struggling or dd needed something that I couldn't afford.

I think this minimises the effects of being poor.

It’s not so much missing out on the ski trips etc but the day-in, day-out stresses that trying to make ends meet creates. It’s certainly not ‘easy’.

When your kids are older it’s watching them see their friends go to shows, cafes, the cinema and gigs and not be able to even get them a coffee or take them shopping for new clothes. It’s not being able to send them to grammar school because you can’t afford the bus.

I was a teenager from a low income family and it’s miserable. It’s also miserable being the parent.

DH lost his job when DD was 2 and started a business which earned very little for a few years. I was PT bringing in around £1k pm. It was tight but we managed. I did go FT but that increased nursery costs. We received Tax credits and were extremely frugal. We bought a cheap but reliable car and did a lot of free days out.
It took a long while for us to get financially better off. The frugal lessons we had then has made us risk averse which has helped in recent cost increases.

Depends where you live I think. I've never learned to drive and raised DS without a car, we have great public transport where we live though so it's not a necessity for us.

On YouTube there's living on a dime penny pinching mama series. It's a mother and daughter from America who give some really great advice on living on a low income. Its about mindset really. Not comparing yourself to the Jones's, being creative and not paying high prices for things you don't have to. Eg you can get kids clothes and shoes all off vinted.

Much Less than £20k here. Benefit top ups. FT work is hard to come by here unless you have a car (I don’t, it’s all care work or delivery driving) so I have a permanent part time job and take on temporary contract work when ever I’m can eg temp cover cleaning work for a month or so on top of my regular job. I wish I had a 30hr a week permanent job. I will get one eventually. It’s just taking time to secure.

I manage because I have no debt.

my rent is low because I’m in social housing.

I have a teen. I’m not afraid to say no to DC.

im also very frugal and have a lot of skills that many don’t have such as long term food preservation, repair/mending skills etc. I have a very well stocked pantry to see me through rough months and I restock it when I’m a bit better off.

Quoting the poster who spends £500pm on a mortgage.

You have security though, average rent where I live has gone from £800pm to £1100pm which is frankly immoral.

We've never got close to £100k, in our world, anything over £50k is doing ok. My husband went back to uni and our wages dropped to just over £30k with three kids. That was tight. £100k is very good money.

In the early 2000's I raised two children on 30k. (Single parent) I'm now raising two children on 70k joint. We can just about afford a holiday if we go out of season and 3*. I spend around £100 each at Xmas/birthday. We have two cars. Food is around £700 a month (everything) which I am trying to get down. We have free view. I mostly buy second hand clothes etc we do a lot of parks/walks/visit family at weekends. Currently mortgage is £500 but due to ruse to £750 so will definitely feel it. We have a small amount of savings (10k) from an inheritance but we try to live with in our means. But it's a nice safety net.

You just get on with it - Facebook market place and charity shops. Free museums and parks. Mum and/or dad do without luxuries like alcohol and gym membership. You teach your kids about budgeting, and that they can have X or Y, or that we need to save up if they want Z.
It's hard and stressful but it's worth it to have my kids in my life.

We had a period of a couple of years on low income due to redundancy so that's a bit different but it was still awful.
I had young primary school dc and I only bought clothes when they were growing out of them. Luckily I only needed to buy for elder one as the younger one got hand downs.
Food was cheap meals. Luckily everyone liked food like dahl and curries.
I was penny pinching so I could put fuel in my car so we could visit grandparents. Sleepovers at grandparents were the best times for dcs.
I don't think we went anywhere that wasn't free. It was parks, lakes, woods and packed lunches or flasks of hot chocolate with balls and bikes.
Or cloud or star gazing on blankets in the garden.
Movie nights at home with treats like homemade popcorn and a few smarties mixed in.
The library was a Godsend. Lots of free activities and amazing books.
We sent apologies to weddings in that time too as there was no way we could go.

It's never really been an issue until the teen years. Now it is very obvious to my kids that we have significantly less money than their friends. They notice the difference between holidays, birthday presents, clothes they wear, everything. We never intended to raise 3 kids on a low income but through a series of unfortunate choices and bad luck, here we are. And I feel crap about it a lot of the time. I feel like my kids are watching everyone around them live a brilliant life and they can't have any of it. Kinda sucks.

I'm 😱 at £1200 being a budget holiday. I've never spent that much on a holiday other than possibly my honeymoon with adjustment for inflation. I budget around £250 for our summer holiday and we have a few days away with the tent or in a glamping pod. I book early, look for deals etc. Even this is a luxury to me, I've had years with no holiday at all. I grew up without money and still don't really have much of it.

I think there are lots of ways to make things more frugal and a small baby doesn't notice whether they've got designer clothes on or things like that! I know childcare costs are mainly the issue but it sounds like things are going to be improving on that front (hopefully!)

Thing is babies grow up, I spend far more on DS now he's 8 than I did when he was a baby/toddler and this definitely isn't designer gear or tech etc- just general things they need as they grow up and stuff for school etc. I wouldn't count on childcare improving much, many nurseries are closing and some aren't going to be offering the extended free hours as they can't afford to.

That said plenty of people make it work, of course they do! If your household income is low then check what you'd be able to get in top ups and financial support etc. I'd say housing is the big one, if you're in a suitable sized home ie a 2 bed then that's good. Plenty of my friends and myself have just one child out of choice because of costs even though we are on pretty good wages, there's no reason you have to have more and put huge financial strain on yourself.

Don't be hard on yourself, we were the same growing up, my parents always felt guilty about it but especially now grown up I appreciate even more everything they did for us despite being under huge financial pressure. Teens generally moan about a lot of stuff or find stuff totes unfair, not meaning to minimise how you feel but honestly you're doing the best you can and that's enough. There'll be plenty of other families in the same situation, it's just the ones with the designer gear and fancy holidays are more spoken about so seem more prevalent.

@DrCoconut I think its very much where you place the value of things. In relation to your income. We earn just outside the benefits entertainment and we do struggle from day to day as everything is soo expensive!
A holiday to us is essential. The whole shenanigans around Christmas and big pile of presents isn't. We did by second hand or cheap clothes.
I spent very little on myself in terms of clothes, makeup and hairdresser. I do have a hobby, but that costs very little. Teens hobby is £10.- subscription, extras need to be paid as and when- so we can decide if we have the money.

We have one car for work purposes... We eat vegetarian/ vegan 90% of the time. This is pulses ect - not any fancy meat substitute that is expensive to buy.

Yes, you can have a few days for £250.- but does that include travel? Some extras, food out, ice cream and entrance fees for a family of 4? Or are you just staying on the campsite?

We buy refurbished electronics or second hand. Shop on Vinted or cheaper shops like pep and co. Live with in our means and try not to ‘keep up with the Jones ‘

People get a lot of support for UC via tax credits etc and paid for childcare

Ah, thank you. It just gets me down sometimes!