Theres like 3 opinions. 1) You dont belive in the afterlife and once your dead you are dead. 2)You have the religious belief and go by what the sacred books and religeous people say at sermons etc. Or 3) is you believe in the afterlife, but is not religeous and you come to your own conclusions as to what the afterlife should be.
If you are of the latter, then if you think about it, its not a physical body. Theres no sleeping, eating, and certainly no sex. Like, in the physical world, when you love 1 child, 2 child, 3 child etc. Theres enough love for all 3 so I would think this is similar of first and second hubby but obviously not in a parent way lol. You love them for their individuality and personality; and they are not one and the same person and should not be treated as such.
To the part where you said if you did not find love in your life, I think the big question when you passed over would be was you happy when you was alive? if you were happy being in your own company thats great, and if that wants to carry over in the spirit world, so be it. But Id like to think it can also be changed to meet like minded souls should you need the company and form relations that way. Being on my own in eternity would probably do my nut in.
Then theres the title, are we all equal in heaven? Id like to think not. Id certainly would not to be on the same sort of spirit plane or level where Id have to face someone who abused some of my other family members so no, Id like to think they are somewhere else where they cant have access to us.
As to all the above, thats just my opinion on what id like 'to think' it would be like. its not fact so its a question that cannot really be answered until when the time comes.