To think I'm not made for modern life?

[thesoftlife]

And in fact, none of us are. It's so miserable.

Dragging myself out of bed when it's pitch black and freezing, putting the light on to get ready at 6:30am, scoffing down some microwave porridge and instant coffee to then sit in traffic. Get to work for 8am, sitting on uncomfortable seats under fluorescent light with strangers, being made to sit in one spot inside all day. Drive home in the dark, eat dinner, watch TV and go on social media as it's too cold and dark to want to do anything else.

I just find myself longing for a quieter, softer life where my time is spent with family and a local community, and instead of the clock and deadlines my time is marked by the sun rises and sunsets and season changes. As I got ready this morning I just felt like this isn't what we're made for. Lighthearted, kinda.

I get up super early to walk the dogs. It you embrace the dark then it feels rather nice actually. Can you find a job with less of a commute or WFH? That would buy you more time to move slower.

I completely unerstand that longing @op you are definitely not alone. I get my fix of it by watching my favourite youtuber (The Cottage Fairy) :

I totally hear you. I don’t think the life we are expected to live is physically, mentally or emotionally any good for any of us.

I dream of a simpler life. Unfortunately I’d still have to work to pay for it!

Get a horse. I get up every morning at 6.00am, on the yard at 7.00am, feed 4 horses who are always delighted to see me, turn out two of them, muck out and back home and in the shower for 8.30am. Exercise, nature and connection with glorious animals. I am lucky to be my own boss though. But I did take a financial hit to do so :)

Totally can relate

I can arrest that WFH is an absolute game changer in regards to work/life balance

I push back on learning being irrelevant. But after bringing up a few kids, not all my own, I very much agree with her that school isn't always the best place to learn. And we've had some pretty poor experiences with school, especially if your kids aren't round pegs.

I have always been very firm on the fact that women should always be able to support themselves and their children. But this is what lead her to comment in the fact that she just wants a family not a career, she's seen me fail to have both. How many women are actually fulfilled by their jobs. Many are just wage slaves and modern life is making people sick and it needn't.

@allquiettonight is there a way to see the article without the paywall?

archive.ph/Vknl9 @Urgenthelplease

@Lesina sounds lovely (and healthy)!

Totally agree with you.

I wish I had some sort of farming/craft skills so that I could move to a commune or something!

Was thinking the same.

Driving to work and sitting around may seem like heaven to your ancestors!

I think most people have a "run away to a desert island" fantasy once in a while... but reality soon sets in.

Some years ago I took a boat tour around the 30,000 islands area in Ontario ... yes THIRTY THOUSAND ISLANDS ... and waved to an elderly couple sitting on their dock. In practice, I think I'd be bored to tears after a few days.

I believe most of the houses on tiny islands are vacation homes. I wouldn't want to be out on the lake in the winter.

island home

I think @Benibidibici has largely nailed it! So many people live in hermetically sealed, artificially heated, artificially lit dwellings, climb into a hermetically sealed tin box on wheels to travel to an artificially lit and heated, hermetically sealed work environment to spend the day tapping buttons and staring at a flickering screen, connecting virtually with other people, producing or doing little of any value. They then repeat the exercise in reverse, maybe passing through a venue serving conveyor belt, factory produced 'food' which does not even require them to leave their tin box on wheels or even engage in actual conversation with another living being. Then back to the hermeticallly sealed, artificially lit and heated dwelling to spend the evening gawping at another flickering screen presenting an artificial or virtual world. And so to bed! In a stuffy, heated room, probably underneath bedding made of artificial materials. Rinse and repeat, day after day! No wonder so many people are constantly ill, suffering from colds or viruses - no access to fresh air, natural light or a living, breathing, green world. No wonder so many are unable to identify the commonest of birds, trees, plants, insects or animals, are unable to appreciate the rythmn of nature, or are petrified or antipathetic to spiders, mice, ants, wasps or any other beautiful living thing which impinges on their virtual existance. Not all, of course, but so many, especially those who live in densely packed, suffocating, concrete towns and cities. Most definetely not a natural or satisfying way to live

Sums ups how I feel. I feel so out of touch with what really matters a lot of the time.

I would rather have a boring office job than be a scullery maid getting up at 4am to stoke the fires for the day, or a seamstress sewing by candlelight and ruining my eyesight to earn a few pennies. I would also far rather live in the modern world with contraception, as having 10+ children would send me completely loopy.

However, yes I completely get what you mean. I would rather be foraging for nuts and berries to sustain us through the winter, cooking stews over a fire and chatting with my extended family while we all work on meaningful tasks to keep us all alive. I used to have a long commute and couldn't go back now, I did 12 years pre-Covid and it feels like you never see daylight in winter.

I now WFH most of the time and I can have a walk in the woods at lunchtime, do some gardening (I planted bulbs today), go for a bike ride or a walk in the fields near our house. It's so much better.

This is exactly how I feel. My office job is so pointless - if no one did it it literally wouldn’t matter.

I’m at a career crossroads and I don’t know what I want, but I don’t think it’s this!

Unfortunately all the truly meaningful jobs pay terribly.

I understand exactly what you mean, but equally I’m not sure what time in history you mean when humans spent all their time with family and a local community, with their time is marked by the sun rises and sunsets and season changes.

I mean, it was only in the 1930s when we passed legislation banning child labour in the UK. And in the 19th century whole families including children under 10 were sent to work down mines.

I do know what you mean OP! The office trudge is hard. But agree with pps that old fashioned life for most people wasn’t really a bed of roses. Working in a mine from childhood for six days a week, for example.

Yes! I constantly feel like the majority of us have allowed a very small minority of people build a world that is not what most of us want and is certainly not what I want.

What's annoying is every time I try to change my life to make it closer to how I feel like I should be living, something happens to make it a bit more out of reach!

We evolved perfectly as hunter gathers. And now we’re living in a completely alien environment.

Personally I think that my improved odds of surviving childbirth are worth the trade off.

This. Being outside in the cold and dark would be far worse if you weren’t coming home to a warm house.

tbh I don’t feel like this at all but I use my commute time to read and listen to podcasts, enjoy my job and work in a nice office, go out on the evenings even if it’s dark and wet, and enjoy hibernating a bit in the winter so I can catch up with reading and TV. Life’s nice.

Im with you @thesoftlife

And this is party why I home educate my DC. We sleep as long as we need to, rest when we need to, move when we feel like it, eat when we want to, pee and poop when we need to, spend loads of time outdoors in the natural light and learn at our own pace. Having done the sedentary rat race for years under the artificial lighting, no fresh air life, I’m grateful every day that we made this happen.

If you weren't miserable, you wouldn't be likely to spend shitloads of money on trying to make your life marginally better.

I think a lot of people over the age of 40/45 feel like this but the reality of that could get quite boring,
I would accept some middle ground like only working 4 day weeks or something, rushing every day is making life go so quickly, I can’t believe Christmas is almost here again, last Christmas feels like it was 3-4 months ago

I'm not a morning person, so this time of year is extra hard waking up, I got a Phillips Lumie sunrise clock ages ago, it's the best thing ever, it takes 30 min to light up slowly, your eyes get used to the light gradually while still asleep and you either wake up naturally without any sound, or with a gentle birdsong (other tunes available). LOVE IT, made my mornings that bit easier.