To wonder where you'd say this person is from

[ClickClop]

This is about my sons gf - she knows I'm posting and is ok with it.

Where would you say this person is "from"

She was born in Country A, this country gives passports to anyone born there, but neither of her parents are from there and she only lived there until she was 2, has a passport from this country

Mother is from Country B - lived there for 2 years when a child, has a passport from this country

Father is from Country C - lived there for 2 years when a child, has a passport for this country

Has been living in country D for 4 years since turning 18 - the longest she has lived in any country

The 12 unaccounted years of childhood were spent between 5 other countries 2-3 years in each.

She speaks 3 languages with similar prominence, if asked what her "mother tongue" was she would say I don't know, at home she spoke language 1 with one parent language 1 with the other and 3 was the language they spoke between them.

DH is adamant she is from country A, always tells people this.
I'm not sure this is the right choice and the girl herself just says European and answers the specifics if asked more

AIBU to want to know where most would say she is from?

I think that's the point. Where you're from can be different to your nationality. For a start, I have two! And being born somewhere isn't that important. My brother was born in another country but doesn't speak the languages or have the culture or nationality.

Already answered this "other" if an option or whatever of the A, B or C feels more beneficial at the time. Technically she has nationality of all 3.

I would say technically country A as she was born there but culturally...? European is probably as good an answer as any.

It's hard if you don't have a sense of belonging.

What matters is how she defines herself. Things might change in the future if she spends more time in one country or if it's more advantageous to be from one particular country. For instance, some British people have chosen to apply for dual citizenship because it's easier to travel in the EU and live there for more than 90 days.

I'm very impressed with her ability to speak several languages and to be so adaptable.

I remember reading something like this once before and somebody came up with the idea of asking - if they were to compete in the Olympic Games, which country would they represent?

I like her saying she’s European if that’s what works for her.

I was born in Country A, moved to B in early teens, moved to C in late teens, back to B for a few years, then to D. Back to A for a year and now live permanently in D. I have 3 passports.

Due to my significant accent, I’m asked weekly where I’m from and the answer is B but born in A!

Isn't she avoiding you since your father was racist towards her at your big family meal last week - where you told her she was being rude for not speaking in English?

And now you're investigating what nationality she should be?

You may be confusing me with someone else as we haven't had any fall outs!

Will she have to decide which country or anything like that? My brother was born in a spain, but to get a Spanish passport he would have to do military service at 18 in spain. So that was a no from him.
he has British parents, born in spain, lived in spain till 8, then moved to Canada till 17 then England from 17. He always said he was british, even thought he didn't live there until 17.

could she say I'm from b and c but born in a?

I'm know a lot of people from all over, I have been an expat most of my childhood and half my adult life, I'm fascinated by where people were born, were they parents were born and were they live, unfortunately if you ask people in Britain now they just take it wrong and say it's racist.

I have a tiny version of this, with UK areas. I lived in 7 different places before leaving school, then 3 different countries before moving to another part of the UK. Afterwards I lived in London for 25 years and a fifth country for 5, moved to a different part of the UK for 3 years and am now in yet another part.

I mostly say I'm a Londoner but I don't sound like one to Londoners, so I either tell them where I was born or fudge it with "various places, we moved a lot". Tbh it's so normal these days, few people care.

Surely DH can just decide for himself where she's "from"?

"Beneficial" in which way?
That seems an odd choice of language.

By the way, British is not an accent.

@kittensinthekitchen

Well the options are Swiss, Danish and Canadian. For travel (say to America) Canadian would be the most beneficial but to the EU or Norway may be Danish or Swiss.
Sometimes if it's all irrelevant then Canadian
would be closer to the top of the list so she'd pick that.

Also I'm aware British isn't an accent - we live in London, I think if the neighbours had heard a scouse accent they probably wouldn't have asked where she was from, or even if it was more broadly RP.

Jesus was born in a stable, but that didn't make him a horse.

Sometimes country of birth is just by chance of where your mother happened to be living or working.

In her place I'd probably say "half B, half C". Or whichever one of those she spent her most formatives years in.

Which country would she want to be buried in?

If it were me I'd say 'my parents are [insert nationalities] but we moved about a quite bit as I was growing up, so I'm not that attached to any particular country'. She doesn't need to tell random folk what passport(s) she holds or go into all the details (unless she wants to).

This

OP I’ve similar situation - nomadic childhood, 14 schools, different countries & multiple passports.

I say that I’m from country D as i’ve spend there the longest.

This.

“DH is adamant she is from country A, always tells people this.”

He doesn’t really have the right to be “adamant” about it, does he?

To people asking that she doesn’t care about, just pick one or two. Like a server in a café making conversation saying they can’t place her accent. She can say, “Swiss-Canadian” or “Danish”. Whatever.

To people she cares about, she can explain more.

Your husband can either live with it, or make up his own choice - as long as he realises he doesn’t have the right to push that choice on her. In fact, A sounds like the least logical option anyway.

If she feels like getting into the topic then: "I'm half B, half C but we moved around a lot."

Otherwise "I'm from London" should suffice.

Why is your husband adamant she's from country A?

Just read the rest: I'd think she's Danish-Canadian.

Sorry
Country A - Canada
B - Denmark
C - Switzerland

So would you say Swiss-Danish?

But who does she support in the cricket?

A or D could apply here. Maybe she feels as she has lived in D country the longest she is from there. Or maybe she goes by country A as that could be her nationality or she may have dual nationality due to her parents not being from A or D.

Where does she believe she is from and why does it matter to you?

Yes, then Swiss Danish. That's it.

Also, I find 'European' a bit of an odd answer to the question where are you from. There's 44 states in Europe!

But in the end she's from where she says she's from, can't argue with that.

A bit similar to us except we didnt move to 5 countries in between.

Im from country A and speak language A

DH from country B and speak language B

We met and got married in Country C and speak language C to each other

ABC are all in different continents

Our DS10 was born in Country C

We moved to Country D when he was 2, Country D and C have the same language

DD6 was born in Country D and never lived in other countries

Both kids have passports for Country B and C, and are eligible for Ds citizenship

DH and I only speak our native languages A and B to kids, they can speak and understand, but they go to school in Country D therefore first language is C.

If you ask them where they are from, they will tell you they are from the country they were born. However they always identify themselves as half A and B.

They have had regular holidays to A and B and are brought up in the family with strong A and B cultures ( food, festivals, traditions, tv movies etc)

It is likely we would eventually move to country A. When staying in in A or B for longger periods of time, they can totally blend in and consider themselves natives.