AIBU to have surgery before dating again?

[Norge2024]

I have been single since 2019 now with three children, there’s so many things that I want to do and achieve before dating someone. I want to go to university and get a degree, have rhinoplasty done as I’m not happy with my nose and lose weight before dating someone, my sister thinks I’m being ridiculous and just wasting time. She thinks I can still achieve those things while dating someone. I’m 34, and a part of me really wants to get back out there again and find someone I like, but I just don’t want to do it whilst looking like this and not feel my best. Am I overthinking this? Is it wrong to wait til I’ve lost weight, had my surgery done before looking for someone to date?

Wasting your time.

sure do whatever you want be it lose weight or get a degree but I wouldn’t waste 4 years waiting to think about dating.

life is too short… just get out there.

You are investing in yourself, it’s your time, money and body. Good luck x

it’s not a bad idea. If there is a way they you can love your body the way it is, that would be a bonus. However go to university if it’s what you want to do … who know you might meet someone there…

It sounds like a sensible plan. I know of many people who put off dating until they feel in a good place to do so.

your sister is right

I don't want to waste time either, that's why I'm trying to find out if it's just all in my head. I fear I won't find the guy I want because of my appearance, and I will only find him once I'm the best version of myself

It need not waste time. You could make some of the changes quite quickly? No reason not to date while you're completing your degree. If you feel ready tgat is.

Do both

I think you need to work on your confidence tbh. Fair enough, get your degree and lose weight if you're actually unhealthy but I imagine most people really won't care about those things and I would strongly suspect won't even notice your nose ( which I'm sure to everyone except you loos like a completely normal nose).