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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner walked away and left me on a night out

68 replies

AMie45 · 25/11/2023 00:24

AIBU? I think I am in the right but needing some others perspective. Went out with my partner for dinner in nearest town, his choice. Both had 2 drinks with meal. Went to go for a drink after. 1st and 2nd pub too quiet for him. Third pub too noisy. He walked out and left me. I followed. Spoke and he walked off again. I waited 10min, phoned and texted him but he didn’t return. I texted to let him know I was going to walk to taxi rank and he was welcome to join me. He didn’t and walked 7 miles home. He is blaming me, all is my fault and I am childish (because I think I refused to walk after him although I did wait, phone and text but his phone was dead he says). He’s now packed his bag to leave, went out to his car but came back as knew he had had a drink (he has his own home to go to but it’s over 1 hour away). I really feel I am right but am being very berated. AIBU to not follow him and take a taxi home myself as it was his strop not mine?

OP posts:
BlueEyedPeanut · 25/11/2023 00:27

Let Goldilocks run on. What a child.

Grimchmas · 25/11/2023 00:27

YANBU. He was pathetic.

EVHead · 25/11/2023 00:28

What’s he stropping about? Is he always such a twat?

CesareBorgia · 25/11/2023 00:30

Wait till he's sobered up and then let him fuck off. You don't need that kind of game-playing in your life.

sandybeaches74 · 25/11/2023 00:30

End this now. I had a boyfriend that became a husband that did this kind of thing. We are now divorced. Save yourself the heartache

OhNoForever · 25/11/2023 00:31

Did you have a drink in the first two pubs? Or was he just marching from pub to pub to see if you would follow him?

What a weird controlling display. Have you been together long?

VisitationRights · 25/11/2023 00:31

Was he blaming you for the pubs not being to his liking? What a fool! He’s not worth the bother.

Auntiedear · 25/11/2023 00:40

Well done for not following him. Now make sure you leave him - he was angry with you for not pandering to him and his strops. This isn't going to get better.

EmmaEmerald · 25/11/2023 00:44

I don't even understand what happened or what he was stroppy about. Sounds like one to ditch.

JFDIYOLO · 25/11/2023 00:46

Twat twat twattitty twat.

'1st and 2nd pub too quiet for him. Third pub too noisy.' Are you going out with Goldilocks?

'He walked out and left me. I followed.' This was to control you.

'Spoke and he walked off again.' Another control move.

'phoned and texted him but he didn’t return.' Control.

' I texted to let him know I was going to walk to taxi rank and he was welcome to join me. He didn’t and walked 7 miles home.' Now he's a toddler having a strop.

'He is blaming me, all is my fault and I am childish' Yep, control. It's called DARVO - deny, attack, reversing victim and offender. The childish one accusing you of being childish.

'He’s now packed his bag to leave, went out to his car' You were supposed to panic, apologise, agree you were childish, beg him to stay. Control, control, control.

You're not being unreasonable - you're being coercively controlled.

And it's going to get worse.

You'll find a lot of help here with this.

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SH23B · 25/11/2023 00:47

Oh leave him to it. I've been there, it's not worth it

Catsmere · 25/11/2023 00:47

Get rid of this pisshead, what a loser.

TheDogthatDug · 25/11/2023 00:50

Make sure he has packed everything else he's got at yours then he can go when sober. Please ditch this manbaby.

ScattieHattie1 · 25/11/2023 00:54

YABU for still calling him your partner. What a massive fucking 3 year old he is.

Shoxfordian · 25/11/2023 00:59

Why are you entertaining this nonsense?

SplendidUtterly · 25/11/2023 01:23

BlueEyedPeanut · 25/11/2023 00:27

Let Goldilocks run on. What a child.

Love this!
But yeah, let goldilocks and the 3 beers jog on.

ShelleyCarpenter · 25/11/2023 01:23

BlueEyedPeanut · 25/11/2023 00:27

Let Goldilocks run on. What a child.

Haha, my first thought was to ask the OP if he is Goldilocks

Ladyj84 · 25/11/2023 02:03

Why are you with a man child? Such a turn off let him go home tomorrow

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 25/11/2023 02:29

Op, is he often like this? I'm afraid it reads like he is the type of person who could argue in an empty room.

Relaxd · 25/11/2023 02:33

Either controlling, or an alternative could relate to sensory and communication issues. The former is tiresome and unacceptable, the latter can lead to bolting and whilst also not acceptable for you, may not be as in his control as we assume.

Italianita · 25/11/2023 02:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MisspentGenXYouth · 25/11/2023 02:51

Get rid of him and get yourself a therapist for help learning how to recognise unhealthy behaviour. You’ll be glad you did.

Olika · 25/11/2023 04:16

Dump him

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 25/11/2023 04:31

I can’t stand moody men like this, I work with a few and it’s really off putting. I couldn’t be with a man like that.
I think he’s made an excuse for an argument. Just let him go home and you can have a peaceful weekend -life-

justanothermanicmonday1 · 25/11/2023 04:32

If someone chooses to walk, let them leave.

To be honest it's a red flag.

Tell him you need some space and to go home first thing.