Partner walked away and left me on a night out

[AMie45]

AIBU? I think I am in the right but needing some others perspective. Went out with my partner for dinner in nearest town, his choice. Both had 2 drinks with meal. Went to go for a drink after. 1st and 2nd pub too quiet for him. Third pub too noisy. He walked out and left me. I followed. Spoke and he walked off again. I waited 10min, phoned and texted him but he didn’t return. I texted to let him know I was going to walk to taxi rank and he was welcome to join me. He didn’t and walked 7 miles home. He is blaming me, all is my fault and I am childish (because I think I refused to walk after him although I did wait, phone and text but his phone was dead he says). He’s now packed his bag to leave, went out to his car but came back as knew he had had a drink (he has his own home to go to but it’s over 1 hour away). I really feel I am right but am being very berated. AIBU to not follow him and take a taxi home myself as it was his strop not mine?

How long did it take him to walk 7 miles ? That's quite a walk.

That'll teach him to walk off - temperamental toddler!!

Knob

An excuse to leave you?

He walked 7 miles to your home but wouldn’t walk an extra mile to his?! Let him deal with that mile tomorrow.
What was he stropping about?! He sounds very dramatic. Is this behaviour out of the blue or is he always having tantrums?

I just can’t picture a situation where I’d leave my DP in the middle of town like he did to you. And why did he walk 7 miles rather than get his own cab (if he didn’t want to share yours)?

Did he have a LOT more drinks in the first and second pub because none of that behaviour is what I’d call ‘normal.’

This sounds like a man left you, a woman, alone in town at night. That alone is a dumpable offence in my book. Good riddance.

Walking home is pathetic. I did it once when my ex and I had an argument over a pram, only 3 miles though!!

There is more to this story. Clearly some details missing.

His version would probably sound pretty different.

What's missing from this?

“I followed. Spoke and he walked off again”

is there more info needed here?

YANBU. I had one that did this, the father of my child in fact, I wasted years on him, looking back I really can't think now why, maybe because Mumsnet wasn't around to ask! But they do make you doubt your own sanity. Work out your boundaries and stick to them, good luck!

There are few things less attractive than a stroppy, moody manchild.

What an arsehole. He expects you to jump to attention and follow along with his every strop and mood swing. Big red flag. Don't waste any more time with this man. Goldilocks

Man here. A gentleman would never leave a lady in this way even if there are further details yet to emerge. I know there's equality etc, but he sounds like some sort of petulant child.

There are so many more important things in life to get upset about than whether the pub was the exact level of hubbub.

When it's all calmed down in the morning, I would be helping him into his car with all his stuff.

Drink less. Both of you.

He had no thought for your safety. What's the point of him? He sounds pointless to me.

That was my thought. Very strange.

If he wasn't enjoying the pubs he could have suggested heading home.

To take this out on you and to storm off and leave you is awful behaviour

If this is typical of his personality or a fairly new relationship I'd end the relationship

Please read this most excellent post over and over to truly understand what is going on. Its all about control.

Last night is a snapshot of what the rest of your life will be like unless you end it now.

No we had 2 drinks with food. No drinks in any pubs. I did question what was going to be okay with him in an exasperated not aggressive way. He did suggest I drove home which I refused saying my reaction times would be too slow and would be over the limit (I’d driven to town with plan to get taxi home).
Been together 8 years, both have kids from previous relationship, have split up before but he’s won me back over. He complains we don’t go out much but when we do it often goes wrong. I can be in positions where I just pander to what he wants, I just felt this time that I’m not a little girl whose going to run after him desperately. I’m often knackered and can be grumpy but I really don’t think I was out of order, I was tipsy but not drunk and yet he’s really making me doubt myself. My world has got really small and hence I ask mumsnet.

He's not making you happy. Staying in this relationship isn't making you happy.

You know what's best. Be strong and be free if this awful man.

Hmm the problem is that when you've had a couple of drinks, people overreact, get stupid and do stupid things. I know I do. Maybe speak to him when you're both rested and talk it through. On the face of it, he reacted badly. See if he is remorseful and then decide what to do. Good luck!

You were right the first time, dump him again

Hope you haven't bought his Christmas present yet. I would end it.

You never know where you are with a bloke like that. I would call it a day.

Manhole who sees you as his support human.

Move on.