To think blocking is childish?

[TheAlchemistElixa]

I’m consistently surprised (and sometimes a bit appalled) at how many threads here are answered with “just block!”, “block and delete” even over the most innocuous friendship issues, or a man not having been in touch for a mere week etc.

I understand cutting out someone completely irrevocably toxic, abusive or harassing…but since when did we all decide that we just cover our ears and close our eyes and shout “lallalala, I can’t hear you!” like a six year old child at all our minor issues?

id be absolutely devastated if someone just blocked me for an infraction that could and should have been talked about instead.

Has it really become ok to just stop communicating with someone rather than having tricky conversations? have the people advising others to just block and delete actually done it to someone themselves, or is it just something they say to other people to do because it seems an easy solution?

I’m mystified by it.

Blocking exes - far better than having constant harassment from them. Would have saved one the cost of bombarding me with calls about how he was overlooking a cliff in his car and wanted to say goodbye/hear your voice one more time. And the texts the following day pretending that the attempts at coercive control and emotional blackmail hadn't happened at 3am in order to wake me up/check whether I had somebody with me/make me scared (I wasn't)/make me prove that I still cared (I didn't) wouldn't have happened either.

30 years ago, we didn't have the ability to intrude upon people constantly through the night, wherever they were and whatever they were doing. If they weren't in, they couldn't be contacted. They couldn't be monitored quite so effectively as there was no seeing they were online and therefore at their phone to be harassed some more. It wasn't simple to lurk around outside and message them to let them know you were watching them, or to use keylogging to read their messages and emails, log into home security systems and tracking their locations.

The ability to block is one of the most important developments in telecommunications, as you aren't forced to have these people intrude upon every moment of your day and night.

Well yes, that’s all very true and valid.

And also absolutely not the kind of examples I’ve been alluding to in my posts.

I totally agree OP!!

I find some people on here absolutely pathetic but also they are clearly incredibly self-ventured and unable to consider another person!! Seen plenty of situations about a friendship/family fall out and the block comments come out. I cannot understand it at all.

All I can think it that people these days who have spent so much time in their lives on their phones don’t actually know how to interact with others or deal with even the most minor conflict.

The trouble with that imho is that disagreements are rarely all the fault of one side. I suspect blocking is sometimes used (whether consciously or unconsciously) as a handy method of avoiding the possibility of being called out over one's own actions.

What on earth is wrong with you @MissSmiley. How can you need to block 71 people 😂

That actually cracks me up, are you just causing fights with every person you meet or just blocking them for the most minor offence.

I've been doing online dating for the last 6 years 🙄

YANBU I think it's ridiculous to block people unless they are actually harassing you. Otherwise, just ignore any messages they might send. Blocking is juvenile but it seems lots of people can't cope with being an adult and so behave like they are at school.

It's not really about the blocked person. It's about the person doing the blocking. They want that person out of their life. That is their prerogative. They don't need to give the blocked person a reason or closure. If you are the person being blocked, just accept that the other person has their reasons for it. It isn't about you, they are doing it for them.

IMO it shows that you’re bothered. Indifference would be better, just don’t respond if he messages again, he’s not important enough. 😁

@BlueEyedPeanut but can’t you see that is so selfish? Why should you leave someone thinking ‘oh well they had there reasons’. There’s a human at the other end of the phone/social media. Why aren’t you able to handle a basic situation enough to give an explanation?

It's also pretty selfish to make someone else's behaviour about you.

Sometimes people just need to think about themselves for once instead of everyone else. Do you consider everyone else before you do anything in case your actions upset them? You'd get nothing done if that is how you live your life.

I think in certain situations it's fine.

I've blocked my toxic AF sister in law and her entire family and feel so much better after years of constant drama. The final straw was hearing about how they would moan about whatever I was doing/posted. After everything else they had done, I was done.

I think if it's over something small and for the peace you could just unfollow or unfriend ( I did this first for years but then I heard about the bitching so enough was enough)

This is an important point to make. While I do think some people hit the block button as a bit of a trigger reaction, ultimately no one owes anyone else a relationship. “Because I don’t want to” is a perfectly valid reason to stop communicating with someone.

Sometimes it's ok to be selfish. Sometimes the person being blocked is so blind to their own behaviour that any explanation would fall on deaf ears. Very, very few people block others without good reason, so the person being blocked might want to sit back and examine why this happened.

@Aquamarine1029 and @BlueEyedPeanut I just don’t agree sorry. We’re talking about specific cases/people here. We’re not talking about abuse/harassment.

If someone does something a bit ‘annoying’ or you just don’t like them why aren’t you capable of telling them to their face? Why are you not able to politely decline from seeing them etc until they get the hint? I just find it so immensely childish. It’s playground behaviour.

And yes I’m completely capable of considering how another person would feel and also assertive enough to say how I feel.

But it’s ok to not have that conversation. If someone treats me like shit, that’s it, I’m done. There’s nothing to discuss.

Why are you not able to politely decline from seeing them etc until they get the hint?

Who says I'm not able to do that? I certainly never did.

You say "until they get the hint." That's interesting. How long, in your infinite wisdom, should someone continue to tell someone else they no longer wish to communicate until it's acceptable to block someone? Does a person need to endure unwanted communication and harassment for 5 years before they block someone? It is it 10 years? After all, one does want to be polite.

I'm too nosey to block people. I don't think I've ever blocked anyone in my life. I'd rather say my piece and have them explain themselves. Then I'd forgive or tell them to f off. I'd only block an abusive person or somebody who was causing me distress with their communications.

I block abusive people. If people aren't actually abusive as such but I don't find them people I want much to do with it I just disengage.

I'm on OLD, and I've only blocked a couple. One was demanding to know why I hadn't replied already, even though we'd earlier had a conversation about work being very busy that day. The other turned out to be a mad brexiteer and started getting abusive when I politely said I didn't think we were compatible (though that hadn't been the first suspiscion I'd had about him not being the love of my life.) His reaction ahowed mee I was very much right.

Most of them I just don't bother replying to in the end. In a couple of cases, it meant I accidentally ghosted them - I had meant to get in touch after a couple of days, and then I realised it was a couple of weeks and I hadn't yet, so clearly I wasn't that bothered, and equally, he'd not been in touch to say, "you're quiet, how are you?" or anything, so I assume it was mutual indifference. It amuses me that every few months, one or other of them pops up to say hi, as they're clearly drunk and horny, but most of them don't. I ignore them, while pondering why they would think that after no contact for 8 months, I'll suddenly be delighted to get a message from them. Ignoring them works so far, so they remain unblocked, but I guess if it happened repeatedly and was annoying rather than merely amusing/bemusing, I might block.

Can't think of any friends or relatives I've blocked. There have been a couple of acquaintances I've blocked on Facebook because I just didn't like the stuff they posted. I know I've been unfriended a couple of times as they then appear in the "people you might know" suggestions. And I have been blocked by someone in a FB group, which leads to slightly odd conversation threads, when others reply to something she's said that I can't see, but she blocked a whole load of us as she was going through a challenging time, so it wasn't really about me.

Mostly though, I just don't bother communicating with people who I'm not bothered about. Actually blocking them I'd only do if I felt really annoyed or harassed. Or spam texters/callers.

@Aquamarine1029 I’ve clearly said harassment is the only acceptable time!

Calm down it’s just a discussion. I don’t ever need to block people tbh, I just explain how I feel and that usually does the job.

Some people are draining/drama lamas/on broadcast only -not the sort you can reason with..sometimes as a last resort blocking is for your own mental health.

Happy to look tacky and embarrassing lol!

I’ve blocked my ex and his new girlfriend, they’ve been caught out snooping more than once. Not to mention she likes to harass me online at her big age of 37.

Sometimes blocking is the high road.

Ive blocked a lot of people in my past and was called "childish". Mainly exes.

The last few exes, I've blocked a few hours after the break up. Its for me to try and establish NC and get them out of my head. Sometimes I even deactivate my own SM for a few weeks when going through difficult times.

I dont see it as childish, and even if people do, I dont care, as long as I have my peace.

Blocking my ex was essential for my mental health. Knowing it couldn't be him every time my phone beeped was a life saver for me.

If you've never been in a situation like that you're very fortunate. Judging people who have found themselves in that situation isn't very kind.