To send this text?

[idontgive]

Met a man at an event 6 weeks ago, hit it off. We had two good dates and lots of texting in between (my schedules been so busy just with time of year and kids so text for two weeks before 1st date then another two for 2nd and another 2 before meant to meet for third today).

So today we had arranged to meet for lunch for a third date. We were texting as normal up until Tuesday where during our conversation he abruptly just replied, 'cool' no kisses etc which isn't normal. So I naturally just let convo end there.

Heard nothing since and lunch today came and went. I had to confirm the date last time so thought I'd leave it up to him.

Should I text him something like, 'well that's that then, have enjoyed chatting with you past few weeks. Take care' or is that just pathetic?

I do think he's a nice guy I just think probably too much time between dates and lost interest. Or is it better to just delete his number and not give him a text?

Don’t do it! The best advice I ever received was if they wanted to they would and they don’t, why are you bothering

Just let it go. Maybe he’s lost interest, maybe he hasn’t. Maybe he thinks you’ve lost interest.

If you liked him till that point then be straightforward and give him the benefit of the doubt and another chance. “Oops, we seem to have missed our get-together. Do you want to rearrange or have you got other stuff going on now?”

It might all be a case of overthinking and misunderstanding and he might be keen to meet. But if he doesn’t show keen immediately at this point then he’s probably not, for whatever reason, and just forget about him. It’s all those things my mum used to say: bread on the water, part of life’s rich tapestry, useful experience, easy come easy go. No need to get upset about it but no need to be strung along either.

He might think you've been funny with him though. Nothing really wrong with someone just saying cool as a reply is there, then you've not messaged him back at all so he may have thought oh well that's that then, just like you have. Either way, you are obviously not that into each other so I'd just let it go gracefully.

So you wouldn't be compatible with someone who told you how they felt about you suddenly going cold on them without explanation. That's fine. Because most people wouldn't be compatible with someone who did that in the first place, so all good. If someone never intended to see you again and told you, the fact that may put you off seeing them in return is somewhat moot, given you wouldn't have the chance.

If you're going to message him just send something straightforward and clear, no pass agg bollocks.

'I was disappointed not to hear from you, is everything ok?'

Hes not interested in you any longer

Hes found someone he likes more or he just can't be bothered with you any more

Do NOT contact him

Stop thinking about him and move on

He'll probably contact you again when he's in need of a brief diversion before moving on again

Respect yourself and simply don't bother with him

If I had been you I would have sent a text saying "Checking that we are still on for lunch onFriday?" ahead of time. You have to be proactive and in charge of your own time as opposed to letting others do it for you. It's too late now.

That's great! Good luck whatever you decide x

Exactly. Pointless to sit around second guessing everything.

Go for what you want and if it turns out to be unavailable then move on.

Very true. The only point of being passive aggressive is to take a little revenge. But revenge achieves precisely zero, apart from a bit more ill will in the world.

He’s allowed to not be interested in you. The main person you damage by stewing about it is yourself.

The guy was the last one to text so I don’t get how you can accuse him of ghosting or send him one of the texts people are suggesting calling him out for lack of contact. It’s not taken for granted that the man must be the pro-active one. Since you’re mutually not contacting each other and you feel he’s not interested I’d just move on.

From the context of what he replied ‘cool’ to, it sounds like he couldn’t think of anything to say, so didn’t. As he replied last he might think it’s your turn, whereas you’ve read it as him being a bit curt and ending the convo. I don’t think he did! So I’d message and say something like ‘I was enjoying our chats but they tailed off a bit. Still fancy that drink?’

Nope, I wouldn't be compatible with someone I had just met feeling they could tell me off with such terse language. If you want you can politely ask why someone has gone cold without all the verbosity of I'm disappointed, my standards are xyz.

Are you sure he’s not at home thinking the same as you? Considering you both haven’t contacted each other 🤔😁

So what was the end result @idontgive ?

I'd just ask him directly. I hate all this fannying around/waiting games. I prefer to know and then you can at least move on. If he doesn't reply to a direct question, then you'll know. Saves all this agonising.

Why was your case so heavy? How long were you supposed to stay?