To send this text?

[idontgive]

Met a man at an event 6 weeks ago, hit it off. We had two good dates and lots of texting in between (my schedules been so busy just with time of year and kids so text for two weeks before 1st date then another two for 2nd and another 2 before meant to meet for third today).

So today we had arranged to meet for lunch for a third date. We were texting as normal up until Tuesday where during our conversation he abruptly just replied, 'cool' no kisses etc which isn't normal. So I naturally just let convo end there.

Heard nothing since and lunch today came and went. I had to confirm the date last time so thought I'd leave it up to him.

Should I text him something like, 'well that's that then, have enjoyed chatting with you past few weeks. Take care' or is that just pathetic?

I do think he's a nice guy I just think probably too much time between dates and lost interest. Or is it better to just delete his number and not give him a text?

Don’t text that.

We had a time and he was coming to my town but hadn't arranged place to meet to eat. I could have reached out to confirm but I did that last time.

If you like him and would like to see him again, I would send him a message asking directly if he would like to meet again soon. No games, no assumptions, no hidden meanings. Meanings can be misunderstood on texts so he might have been cooling off, or he might have just been busy, or something else. So give him one more chance and see what happens (if you would like to see him again). If he messes you around or answers off hand, then leave it there.

I think you’ve interpreted ‘cool’ as like ‘yep’ or 👍🏻, offhand, but in no way I’d see that as terminal, so in your shoes, I’d have texted a neutral ‘are we still on for Friday at 1?’

I'd just keep it light and open, "Hey, fancy coming to this, or meeting here...? "

The beginning is meant to be fun and relaxed, so just send an open message and see if anything comes back. If there was an issue it would be his chance to clear things up for you.

Just leave it. He has your number if he wants to arrange something in the future.

Don't block him but delete his number so you aren't tempted to text him. If he does message simply reply who's this? I wouldn't want him to know you're bothered, then he wins I am not a loser but I am petty.

Don't text. It won't help and if he ignores you you'll feel even worse.

Don’t text him. Even if you come up with some brilliant way of telling him that you noticed the change in texting and then the total silence, what is going to happen? He’s not going to apologise for being honest about not being that into you or ghosting you. Instead, he’ll just roll his eyes and block you, so he can tell himself that you’re a crazy stalker type, rather than feel bad for being a cowardly twat. You don’t want to give him that. He’ll be expecting some kind of contact from you at some point. Let him wonder why it doesn’t come; he’s not your problem.

Don’t tell him that his behaviour is not what you’re looking for so you won’t be seeing him again, either. You’ve been ghosted; he already knows you won’t be seeing each other again and that it was his choice, not yours. And again, he’s not going to apologise.

Keep your dignity. Unfriend him on social media. I wouldn’t bother blocking him yet because he’s not that significant. If his plan B doesn’t work out and he texts you in a couple of weeks to carry on where you left off, you simply reply ‘No thank you’. No insults, no reasons given, just ‘No thank you’. Then block.

Should you ever come into contact with him in the future, you’ll be so glad you treated him as the insignificant blip that he is, rather than let him know he had any effect on you. Say hello, smile then excuse yourself to talk to some else. Treat him with as much consideration as he has given you.

He's sat there somewhere saying you ghosted him after saying cool

From experience, I’d feel worse if I sent that final text and STILL didn’t get a reply.
id just leave it.

I just want him to know that I noticed what he did, I didn't forget about the planned date. And I am telling him that's that rather than askin him. Maybe I should be more direct.

Yeah he'll know you noticed. He knows what he's doing. Really no excuse for completely ghosting someone on a date unless he's unconscious in hospital. If you want to communicate with him take control and let him know you're ending it. Don't hand him any more power than he's already got.

Personally I'd just let it go and draw a line.

Definitely don't text him. I wouldn't block him either though. It'll drive him mad that you haven't messaged!

@idontgive

has he been active on Facebook?

why did he need to make the next step?

im a woman, I feel mist of us want it both ways these days, want to be 'equal & independent' then get pissy when the bloke doesn't make all the moves.

i reply 'cool' when we've been discussing the same thing for a while or it's just 'information' & there's really nothing left to say! One of us will text when there's something else to say.

yes he could have sent you messages since then, but you could have sent him some too. Didnt need to be about your dog or the date.

if you like him & want to see him again, ask if he wants to meet you for xyz at x time.

ask about todays non date IF you meet up in person.

if you're not that keen now, just let it go.

try to have a good weekend!

I'm very old, and I want to say to all younger women what I said to my own dd-"he should really want to see you if he's worth anything- he should be excited and delighted. If he's at all reluctant or you suspect he's playing games, dump and move on. Never be the one sitting by the phone"

or not. Honestly there have been some convos when I was dating that just fizzled and I was praying the guy wouldn't feel the need to text and prolong it. I don't think sit back and plot- oh I hope he messages, I wonder why he hasn't. At least I don't any more. If I don't get a text, I assume he's moved on. Might sting a teeny bit if i really fancied them, but that's life!

What is wrong with picking up.the phone op?
Texting is a cop.out and that's why your now in a pickle.

@CurlewKate you are very wise and absolutely correct.

@idontgive it's utterly shit but if he wanted to see you, he would make it happen. Don't text him and just move on ❤️

Awk I'm okay, I'm quite happy being single to be honest. A little perplexed questioning what happened but whatever it is, he's not interested anymore and that's okay.

I would leave it.

What would you get more out of? Letting it go or having a rant? Genuine question, what would give you most peace?

If you like him, don't get arsey, get another date. Stop the games and the hints and the passive aggressive messages. Just text "sorry, it looks like this date got away from us. Shall we try again? I'm free on xxx".

I actually think cowardly ghosters should be called out. I’d text something like “If you didn’t want to continue anything I’m a big girl I can handle it, and you’re not so special that I’d be crying into my pillow - but have the balls to actually tell me rather than ignore me. Not cool.”

More dignity and peace would be letting it go I think. Easier said than done after a few glasses of wine though 🤣

He will come back to you un a month. By that time you will roll your eyes and not care a jot though.