AIBU to want to spend the same amount on presents

[Natspenc]

So SIL now has 3 kids and we have 2. She wants us all to spend £15 on each kid but as she now has 3 I want to split it evenly and spend £10 on each of hers.
husband thinks I’m being rude and tight but I don’t see why we should be spending £15 more than her forever.
AIBU? Or should we spend the same amount?

My brother has 4 DC, I have 2. I budget roughly £20 per child of his, but more £80 overall. So some years one of his might get something that cost £25 and a sibling gets something that cost £15 (but still something they wanted). Surely none of you are measuring this to the penny? It's as a guide.

If the root of the issue is she regifts items to your children whilst demanding a gift over budget for her kids then you have an few options.

Inform her you won’t be shopping from her list and have already got gifts for her kids.

Do the same and send her a link to your child’s request.

Just say you’re cutting back this year and cannot afford gifts for extended family but would instead love to meet up and spend time together. Then neither of you have to faff getting gifts that both of you don’t really want to.

I agree that once present buying becomes such a chore and a point of contention that it wiped out the purpose and joy of giving a gift.

I have two nieces as they've got older I spend more on them because their tastes are more expensive! I have one DC I would firstly not be calculating the value of presents he is bought and secondly then dividing that to spend on my nieces, you're not even talking about large sums of money.

That is what my very wealthy sister did. Took me years to work out
Tight cow.

Who actually buys the presents? You or DH?

I'd dump it all on DH to sort and buy if you are always left with present buying chores. And Yanbu!

You're absolutely right, op. Not fair on you is it? First 2 kids get a £15 pressie and the third gets nowt. That'll teach em. 😉

I'm joking btw.

I have 0 children, 7 nephlings and 2 godchildren. Christmas is expensive. Who do you advise I get my money back from @Natspenc ?

I don’t think you are being mean. £15 in a col crisis is a lot for some people

when she sends the link and it’s more I would just go back and say sorry it’s over the agreed amount. I would ignore the link and get what you want to get at £10 each

orbetter yet tell her that you both stop buying for the kids

Maybe feed them less Christmas dinner too, so that the amount evens out per family 🤔
and let’s hope that your family will get a bigger share of grandparents’ inheritance because they will have wasted money in third child…