to think boss is taking the P?

[OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide]

Boss is very senior in organisation and in early 50s. Sadly diagnosed with cervical cancer in the summer - early stages but took 2 weeks off at end of July to get her head around it. Op was brought forward to mid Aug but she went off a week before to prepare for it. Had hysterectomy and didn’t need any other treatment. Expected to be off for 6 weeks recovery which then got extended. Fair enough.

Then decided there was no point coming back before she had been on a 2 week holiday over Oct half term. Again, fair enough, her kids deserved a treat. She then took another week after coming back before starting her phased return - 3 half days a week. We are up to our necks and working 14 hour days partly to cover for her.

Was talking to another senior manager who said they had spoken to her earlier - she was out Xmas shopping with her sister.

Feels like a piss take to be honest. The only other person I know who had a hysterectomy was back half hours 4 weeks later and full time 2 weeks later. Can it really take 12 weeks to recover?

I appreciate this will sound really mean but we are a small team and have been flat out since July without stopping and will probably have to work over Xmas as well to keep up with everything. And likely to be made redundant next year down to business changes that see her role safe but not ours. :-(

And you’d better hope that if it IS you those around you are the supportive type, and not the callous ones who give no shits.

Wow! So she went Xmas shopping ffs! So what?!
She has been through what sounds an awful time and is recovering.

Mental health impacts physical health and healing. Sleep, rest and convalescents is restorative. There are heaps of studies that back it up and feeling a bit well enough to pop to the shops for some normality and get out of the house shouldn’t be judged!

I hope you never find yourself in the same situation…

If your workload is too much that is your management issue not hers, raise it through your management chain.

To the contrary, I think she's saying all cancer is definitely not equal and free rein for as much time off as you want shouldbt be expected the second you hear the word 'cancer'.

And yes, I have had cancer. And yes, my husband and mother have both also had cancer. As I said, not all cancer is equal.

You sound like a very bitter and nasty person.

If you are overloaded, then it's the companies fault and not a woman who is recovering from a hysterectomy and cancer. If you are off work recovery, it doesn't mean you have to sit in bed all day and never step outside. She shouldn't have to help out!

I'd be careful if I were you, you made not be made redundant because of your works financial situation, maybe more to do with your horrible attitude.

I haven't read most of the replies... I'd suggest you stop running yourself ragged for a job that is not secure for you. Work your contracted hours and no more
Your poor boss probably was concerned she was going to die and leave her kids without their mother... you know what wouldn't have come into her mind 'oh what will my work colleagues do without me'... if you and your team mates stop picking up the slack which appears to be thankless if your job isn't secure then they will have to hire a replacement for a few weeks.
I really hope you don't get this nasty attitude bite you in the arse one day.

Maybe after nearly dying she doesn't give a shit about "doing emails from bed" (jesus).

The problem isn't the poor woman with cancer, it's your company not sufficiently resourcing. Sorry your job is at risk but that isn't her fault- people get ill/die/are indisposed through emergency all the time, no business should be operating on a knife's edge so that they can't cope when that happens.

When DH had major abdominal surgery for cancer he was signed off work for 3 months but after the first month or so was going on little outings, all as per medical advice. If you just lie in bed until your sick note runs out you'll never get well enough to return to work - you need to gradually build up to it. Also you really cannot underestimate how much cancer fucks with your mental health, she may be in no fit state mentally to come back to work yet.

Your colleague is not at fault here, it's your employer which is letting you down. They should be finding cover, redistributing the work better, or accepting that some things won't get done. If you're expecting to be made redundant in the near future and it's a shit place to work you really should be looking for a new job.

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide "I don’t wish her ill AT ALL."

"The half term fortnight was leave but everything else was full sick pay. She’s getting full pay for a 1.5 day a week phased return too. Including Xmas shopping."

So now you don't wish her ill AT ALL, but begrudge her the full sick pay (I presume you would also get FUL SICK PAY if you were off ill?) and her phased return to work because when not in work she is - clutches pearls - Christmas shopping a few weeks before Christmas on account of the fact that she was previously busy having cancer??????? I seriously hope that you never wish me no ill at all.

Wow what a nasty post. We had a team member off for 14 weeks for a hysterecotomy, no cancer to deal with on top of that

You need to direct your anger at their company and the way they are treating you, not her

Who is in charge in her absence? Speak to them

This is probably the worst post I’ve read on MN. And that is saying a lot.

Awful

Hi all,
Just a reminder that our guidelines are still in effect and we have not suspended the one about personal attacks?
Cheers,
Hope

Yes another thread where ignorant people reveal how they feel about illness and disability. Its attitudes like this that explain why we need equality legislation at all.

I appreciate this will sound really mean

Yes. Yes it does.

You have absolutely NO IDEA what her health situation is. A cancer diagnosis is a huge thing to deal with mentally, not just physically - and so is a hysterectomy. A hysterectomy isn't like, for example, having your appendix out. There's more to it than just a physical wound; if they've taken her ovaries that's a massive and sudden hormonal change with a lot of potential side effects.

I am not sure if this is real.

Anyway if I discovered that a colleague was in full pay whilst she was treated and recuperating from cancer, I would be glad that I had found a good employer. It might be me next time.

As for your comments about 14 hour days well I am not sure why it takes a team of people to work 14 hour days to cover for one person. And your later comment on other people leaving makes no sense either they left because there was not enough work to do, the definition of redundancy.

Most of all, I can’t get over the thread title “is boss taking the p”. If I spent the rest of the year guessing as to what this might be about, I would never have come up with this.

Fucking hell. Poor lady.
Yab more than u

The number of people commenting that op is worked ragged so you want to cancer patient to come back to work to share the load and also be worked ragged. Smh

You have no idea what having cancer is like, so what if she’s doing Christmas shopping? She doesn’t know how this illness will affect her going forward, she may not even be here next year! Ffs have a heart..

it’s none of your business what she is doing in her own time, she’s clearly had awful news! A lot to get her head around.. it’s staff like you that make management a chore, no wonder she needs the time off if this is how you act!

She may have been fine physically after a few weeks, but not mentally or emotionally.

And STILL no empathy. WOW!

I just thought that. I mean, NOBODY can be this deluded. Can they?

Unless maybe they have a condition that impacts human interaction? That's all I can think of. Cos the OP's updates are WILD!

Like others have said, you don’t have a problem with your boss, you have a problem with the management there. What your boss is up to, when signed off sick/on a phased return, is really nothing to do with you. What is your concern is your workload, and how it’s being managed. You can only do so much - and especially if you’re not getting paid/no sign of the TOIL back. I’d give your head a bit of a wobble, and make a plan for joe you’re going to communicate the situation to Hr/you big boss.

Ive been the person who had to extend tine off after a major surgery. I didn’t have cancer, but it was life-changing. My ex-boss never understood, and punished me for it for about a year. It’s a lot of the reason why I left. The tears of me putting in 12 hour days, covering others, taking on extra work, all meant nothing in the end. So, don’t give more than you can comfortably. There’s no real loyalty from companies in the end - so remember that, when there’s potential redundancy on the horizon.

Been off sick a similar time frame with cancer but still waiting on treatment. I guess my team feel the same way but until they're in my shoes their problem is with the company not me. Don't ever wish you can know how she feels!