to think boss is taking the P?

[OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide]

Boss is very senior in organisation and in early 50s. Sadly diagnosed with cervical cancer in the summer - early stages but took 2 weeks off at end of July to get her head around it. Op was brought forward to mid Aug but she went off a week before to prepare for it. Had hysterectomy and didn’t need any other treatment. Expected to be off for 6 weeks recovery which then got extended. Fair enough.

Then decided there was no point coming back before she had been on a 2 week holiday over Oct half term. Again, fair enough, her kids deserved a treat. She then took another week after coming back before starting her phased return - 3 half days a week. We are up to our necks and working 14 hour days partly to cover for her.

Was talking to another senior manager who said they had spoken to her earlier - she was out Xmas shopping with her sister.

Feels like a piss take to be honest. The only other person I know who had a hysterectomy was back half hours 4 weeks later and full time 2 weeks later. Can it really take 12 weeks to recover?

I appreciate this will sound really mean but we are a small team and have been flat out since July without stopping and will probably have to work over Xmas as well to keep up with everything. And likely to be made redundant next year down to business changes that see her role safe but not ours. :-(

Ignore the posters that say you are nasty etc.
She is taking the pi*s and if the boot was on the other foot she would be slagging you off.
1 in 2 people will get cancer its a fact. Soooo everyone needs to adapt. Not everyone will be lucky enough to be given this time off by a company. Not everyone can afford the time off.
The country needs to change - its a sad but true situation

If you can’t cope with your job, then find another one.

That doesn't matter, if that's her contract then she is being paid in line with it. Are you expecting her to forgo it?

I'm sorry you are stressed and facing redundancy OP, that sounds awful for you too, but you shouldn't be directing all this at your manager. Is she also facing redundancy?

I think you might be better off taking a breath, recognising this is not the fault of the person recovering from cancer, and thinking about what you can do.

For example, what happens if you don’t do the extra work? Is the job one where an essential service will suffer (e.g. healthcare), or could you consider just working your hours?

Have you spoken to the next most senior person to ask for their direction.

There is always a union, you just need to join it. What sector do you work in? What kind of company.

She can afford the time off.
She’s entitled to time off.
She is not taking the piss for having time off when she’s not well.

You must be a very miserable person to be jealous of a woman who is poorly.

Are you seriously saying that all cancer is equal and we should suck it up for the sake of productivity and capitalism?

I'd argue that lack of humanity and empathy is what needs to change here.

What a horrible, horrible attitude you have.

Thank god the company is paying this woman full sick pay whilst she deals with this difficult time in her life.

I had an abdominal hysterectomy and was advised to be off work for 12 weeks, which the consultant then extended to 14 weeks. When I got back into the office my colleague said it was "very strange" that I'd been off for so long, since her two friends had had the op and were only off for a couple of weeks! On closer questioning it turned out they'd had their tubes tied and she thought that was what a hysterectomy was, so she thought I'd been taking the piss being off so long.

We aren’t Xmas shopping because we don’t know if we will have jobs in January.

Cancer and Hysterectomy 😳

OP you are a nasty piece of work. It's as simple as that.

They don’t recognise unions.

it’s a charity. And yes, there are vulnerable service users at risk if we reduce our work.

I take it you've never had cancer. I have. I also work as an oncologist.

However early the diagnosis and however treatable the cancer, receiving that diagnosis, you get a primal fear and a little voice in your head saying you might die.
Then there's the treatment. It's brutal. If you need an op you think have they got it all? Will it come back?
With chemo and radiotherapy you feel more I'll than with the original cancer. And the fear, will it work.

Cancer changes you. It makes you look at your life through a lens of I might die. It has long term consequences- I'm infertile because of mine. Other people may have problems with bone density. Others see long term problems in other areas. Some may even find that they are at risk of another cancer.

Your boss isn't selfish. You are. She is doing what she needs to to adjust to her new reality and that takes time.

Whilst I sympathise, I'm just not sure what this has to do with your boss who is off sick after having cancer???

Thank you. I had no idea recovery could be so long.

When I was diagnosed with lung cancer, I immediately stopped work. My GP had no qualms about signing me off work.

I could have gone in, in the sense I was physically able to do so, but took the view that is be a hindrance. As I was the boss, I would have found it very hard to give a fuck about a work problem.

During the period between being diagnosed and starting treatment (in my case six weeks) I met friends for lunch, did my Xmas shopping and generally did things that made me forget about my diagnosis.

Did I think about work? Never. I had bigger fish to fry. And so does your boss. You don't come out of this interaction well, opening poster.

I havent mentioned karma. I dont believe in it. However if she got cancer she'd know shes 100% unreasonable. I dont think I've ever called someone a cunt in my whole life, and never was a situation more fitting than this. Her manager being off work has nothing to do with her work load, someone else should have been hired to cover those hours and it's not the cancer sufferers concern. I'm sure she'd gladly swap places with her. Shes a horrible person and deserves no sympathy.

What a horrible post and person you are

I guess it just seems odd that she is well enough to spend the day traipsing around town but not to sit for a few hours at her home desk and help out. Even doing some emails would make a massive difference. She could do that from her bed.

Shes probably xmas shopping because she doesnt know if she'll be here next xmas. No competition really.

The country does need to change. Anyone having cancer treatment shouldn't have to worry about whether they can pay their bills or not. They should be paid in full, allowing their body to rest and recover. It should also change so that spiteful colleagues don't react like this.

Do any of us?

WTF
This must be a joke now surely

Each update makes you sound worse and that's starting from a very low base

Hi OP, I CAN understand your frustration- why does the protection and care only extend to your senior manager? It feels unfair… You are all under massive pressure to deliver with insufficient resource, staring down the gun-barrel of redundancy - in this situation it is the inequity that is grating on you - the fact that absolutely no one at work is caring about you, and during her phased return yur manager has done nothing to support or listen to the issues that have been building up around her, and done nothing actively to help manage the excessive hours.

in your situation I would be doing aa daily timesheet every single day emailing direct to HR and cc your manager and her manager, stating “hours worked today X including Overtime Y due to covering work for (names). As previously discussed I am adding this to my accrued TOIL. I propose to take this TOIL on (dates). Please let me know if you have a different preference for when I take my TOIL or the Payroll in whic you will make payment in Lieu.”

You absolutely need every minute of overtime documented, if they don’t consent then you should immediately stop doing the TOIL and inform Management that the overtime is causing you excessive anxiety and you don’t want to end up signed off sick with stress so are easing back in order to manage your burn-out.

Some of us have drastically reduced odds